1 Story, 4 Love, 2 Worlds

THE WORD [Four]

The Place Owned You

I've always believed that someday I'd be at your place, right by your side. I must admit my days have been so hard since your departure. My days seem so dark that even the moon, stars and the whole sky are nothing without you. I want to say that I miss your touch, your voice and your laughter but always realize that words can never explain my longing for you. I always remember you saying and forbidding me to cry when you leave. Honestly I can't, this feeling is too strong and has taken hold of me. Can I see you again? I just want to make sure you're okay. Can you hear my miss voice? I miss you so much I miss you so much.

Tonight at 23:34 I can't close my eyes. When Nana was fast asleep I headed to the living room and I turned on the TV. Tonight I watch myself usually you are next to me while your hands hug my body attached to your body.

While staring at the TV screen I was a little nostalgic considering some of the things we've been through. I remember when the rain soaked all the streets in the corner of the city, almost an hour. At that time I hope the rain will fall again so that we can stay together longer in the shelter precisely in front of the red stall next to the stop. The sky illuminated the whole city. At that time you looked at me as if signaling to continue the journey. Every time I take you out on my bike that you never resisted never even felt ashamed as if it was a sign that you accepted me for who I was when we had not been in a relationship as a girlfriend, we are just friends who share the same love. I don't know why I was so afraid to express my feelings to you back then. I was afraid that I would have to lose a best friend if you just rejected me but it turns out I was wrong I never even thought I could have my best friend become a companion of my life.

On the way to your residence on the motorbike you said to me.

"Do you like girls?"

"Yes, I like it..." Answer shouts.

"When you like why don't you have a boyfriend?" Reply Hanifa with a shout.

"Because there's already you!" Answer laughed.

"I'm your boyfriend!?" Shouting Hanifa.

"You are the future mother of my children! Haha..." Shouts laugh.

"Ihh what the hell... I'll be ashamed"

Either Hanifa responded jokingly or not but the truth was that she was indeed the mother of my son. Maybe at that time the angel laughed at us and probably confirmed some of our words.

In the middle of the journey at that time I remember when cloudy began to approach and then the rain was back dripping. The rain at that time seemed to signal that we should take shelter and continue the conversation somewhere. So I directed my bike to pull over in a new building that is not inhabited with a yard that is quite spacious and only then did I realize if the building is a mini market where I bought the provision Nana this morning.

There are only two of us in that place,

"Your word has never been dating?" Hanifa opened the conversation.

"Everything but like not dating because I used to have a girlfriend at school, meeting and dating only when at school, after that never met" I replied seriously.

"Indeed why? Do you want to be with me?" I said while looking at him.

"You know what if you want" In a very small voice as if scared and ashamed looked at me.

The rain is a witness when you close your eyes smiling as if saying yes to everything that is a question between us. I didn't understand and never expected to put my lips right over your smiling lips. For a moment I saw you open your eyes as if astonished but resigned then again you closed your eyes sighing full of happiness. After that incident you look embarrassed always bowed while playing the wet end of your clothes.

The rain was getting heavier at that time which forced us to be closer to each other so as not to be exposed to rain splashes. At that time you asked me,

"Surely you've kissed another woman before me?"

"Never, this is my first time, have you ever been?" I asked him back.

Hanifa was smiling and looking beautiful in my eyes.

"Then make me the first and I will make you the first of my life"

"meaning?" I was confused and embarrassed at that time.

"Please promise to always be my best friend my love" Hanifa looked at me smiling as if hinting at something.

"I want you not only to be my best friend but I want you to be my companion"

When I think back on my vows I feel silly saying a word like that. At that moment Hanifa closed her eyes again. My heart was so pounding, as I approached and hoped to repeat what had happened suddenly Hanifa held my lips with her finger while whispering softly,

"Save your lips for me one day on the day we can lie down and share together in a sacred bond"

Hanifa has always fascinated me with her beauty and language. At the age of 20, Hanifa was good at stringing words, when she was a wife, do not ask again every day I was fascinated by it. After that incident I kept everything I had only for Hanifa even though sometimes we didn't realize breaking the promise but breaking it to the same person. We used to call that the most beautiful sin, our youth is beautiful even our marriage is so beautiful and happy that we forget the destiny that has been written by the creator that we cannot change despite pleading and continuing implored.

The rain always brings memories. Tonight also the rain fell gently as if whispering invites me to step foot into the room. So I followed my steps to the bed and I tried to close my eyes to end the day in order to welcome a cheerful tomorrow.

There are many things about Hanifa that are unforgettable in my mind. At least I'm grateful to have had the right people for half of my life.