1 Story, 4 Love, 2 Worlds

BECAUSE OF THE PRESENCE OF [Firman]

I lay this body on a bed in the room. The room that used to be a witness to our intimacy. Sometimes I still remember you lying next to me until now your shadow is still in my memory. These past few days I have felt you here sometimes. Are you here Hanifa? Have you seen what happened to me all this time? Right, I still love you and nothing has changed my feelings for you for so long, but these days I feel different. Ever since Fina's presence I felt that if I understood her feelings that she had lost, either she felt the same way.

From that day on, the day before our daughter's birthday, I started to take an interest in her. I saw you in the past when I was with him. Instantly my longing was treated when looking at his careless behavior, like to scream and sometimes look at me secretly. I also saw the figure of the mother when she was with Nana. They were very compact as if they had known each other before. Am I wrong if I keep the flavor to him? Is there any sincerity from you for me here Hanifa? Is it time for me to choose a companion and mother for our child? As persuaded you? Please answer me, just give me a signal so that I understand what you want to say.

Shortly as I lay fantasizing about the past, I heard Fina's voice and Nana laughing in the next room. Hearing that joy made me step there. From the front door of the room I saw two sincere smiles laughing at each other. I approached them, we talked and laughed together like a family. I've never seen Nana this happy with a woman. Again I realized that if Fina noticed me, not infrequently our eyes met each other. We just throw each other a smile when our eyes meet.

After we laughed together, it was time for me and Nana to take Fina home. On the way when Nana fell asleep in the car I tried to open a conversation with Fina by telling her about college and again Fina looked at me seriously with a smile, it made me a little misbehaved but I kept trying to calm down.

After arriving at Fina's house, I did not intend to visit but because Nana who wanted to pee so I stopped and also the invitation from Fina's father I can not refuse, I finally got into the house.

The sound of footsteps rang out from the direction inside the house, Fina's father ended his whisper. Fina was carrying several cups of tea which were then placed on the table. From behind Fina followed her mother walking towards the chair that was next to me. He held Nana and sat still holding Nana. He seems to like a little boy. For me it's common because Nana is fast to be friends with anyone.

We told stories and laughed like a family especially with the behavior of Nana who always wanted to know. Sometimes Fina still looks at me silently and I don't think Fina's father asks me about marriage. He asked if I wanted to get married again? Either have to answer what in the heart of this stored many similar questions. I want to feel like I answered and proposed to his son but I only answered as polite as possible. But when I said about Mom, Nana suddenly pointed at Fina and said she wanted Mom to be like Fina. Shame and joy mixed in my heart but we thought it was just a joke of a child.

Time passed by so quickly for me, the night was short because Nana was sleepy, and tomorrow she went to school. That night our discussion was closed. We also say goodbye and go home. While we were saying goodbye, Fina's father and mother teased us with her words inviting Fina to come with me. What a lovely evening. We also went home.

During the journey I kept thinking about Fina to make me smile to myself. After arriving home, I carried Nana who was asleep in the car to her room. I headed into the room to get back to rest. In the bed I fantasized about Fina. I was a little moved when I had to remember Hanifa at the same time. In my heart there will be Hanifa. I'm sure there will one day be an answer from God for me and I'm sure Hanifa will give me a signal over all these feelings. I'm gonna stick around like, hold on with love in my heart, hang on to these memories until you give me a signal. My greeting to you is the best woman that has ever filled my days, I still love you.