1 Story, 4 Love, 2 Worlds

RAIHAN [Two]

Recollecting

Even though it is a heart that I feel without your love anymore by my side I still try to persevere in my own destiny. All about your fantasies about wanting to own a mansion, about your hopes of becoming a mother and your desire to make me a father of the pair of twins you so desperately want, also about your crazy fantasies that want to surround the beauty of this country with me is now just a dream, wish and hope that we put together.

I must admit it's all my fault for choosing to be present in your life. As if I could not believe this reality, I felt that just a few days ago we were together to put together a fantasy, together, not because we do not love each other nor because of the presence of a third person who makes us separate but God must have a better plan for our relationship.

Day after day changed as usual almost every time I was always near you without you noticing. When I look at you, I always think of some wonderful things we did together. I remember one day when I first started to know about you. At that time we were still sitting in High School, at that time I who never knew love immediately slowly felt it when I met you. Still vividly remembered in my memory about the first time we met even though you were never aware of the meeting. At that time you look so beautiful even though in your hijab there are dozens of ribbons and some plastic rope ties, well at that time you just entered the High School of course at that time there was a name ospek and whether it was a meeting that God had planned or just a coincidence that you came to me with a smile politely ask directions to the library premises. For a moment I noticed the details of your face that was bowed down a little embarrassed and then I only replied briefly while pointing in the direction across the school corridor. You just go without a word other than thanking and smiling. At that time I promised to know who you were.

A few days passed after that day I started to find out about you from some of my friends. At that time I could only look and hold feelings for you. At that time in 2008 some of us have not felt the pleasure of getting acquainted through social media. At that time I could only hope to leave a greeting through a friend or at least find out the phone number or dare to talk directly to him but at that time I only chose to be quiet

At the end of the school farewell I thought this was the last time I could see you who on that night looked so beautiful and part of the show as a dancer with some other women. What I had in my memory in school was the first and last time I saw you at school.

Smiling, remembering those memories. I also immediately recalled our second meeting and introduction. After two years of being apart from you, I graduated from a University that is quite far from where I live which means also far from you but until two years of college I still often remember about you then I plan to dare to get acquainted and talk to you when the semester break comes.

It doesn't take long to wait for the semester break. I plan to go home and inform and contact some friends. At that time one of my friends invited me to meet at a cafe on Sunday night and I gladly accepted his invitation all I wanted to tell him many things.

As I walked towards the table of my friends, my gaze was fixed on a woman who was with them. I'm not sure if that was my old schoolmate, but I'm not sure if that woman was either... But to be more convincing at that time I had to try to calm down so that this curiosity did not look and it turned out to be true that the woman at that time was Fina.

At the time of greeting friends it seems that at that time Fina was so embarrassed maybe because she felt she had never known me who happened to know all the men around her and also among us at that time she was only a woman selves.

On that night I tried to get acquainted with Fina even though I actually knew who she was but I was hoping to get her social meda contact. That night we were joking with each other and it turned out that Fina was also an adaptable person. I said in my heart, "Why didn't I know he could be this familiar? All this time I thought he was shy."

I remember that night in the middle of our conversation or jokes once in a while I saw Fina looking at me with a smile but I tried to look indifferent to some of them I also looked at her and a little funny when looking at her eyes we meet one of us will take our eyes off with nervousness and embarrassment. If only you could look at me like I used to...

At the end of the night I was looking for a way to get Fina's social media contacts. In order not to be discovered, I asked all my friends to contact me on the grounds that I wanted to create a new account, and all that night I asked Fina to contact me. At first I doubted he wanted to give it but unexpectedly he offered me some social media accounts of his and finally that night we made friends and found out about each other or his term children today mutually kepoin account and it turns out I began to feel there is interest among us because seeing from the post as if the reply to the words I wrote was reply through the post of his word and it turns out all that is true.

If time could repeat itself, maybe I would go back to that time, including when I ventured to tell you my feelings. I who was trying to call you at that time meant to invite you to meet and try to express my feelings to you. That afternoon I called you and when I spoke to you I remembered when I said "I want to say something to you" and then you replied by saying "What do you want to say? You want to shoot me, huh? Or maybe you want to propose to me? Come to my house and talk to my parents directly" although with the intention of joking but I take it seriously from your heart. From the moment I met you and told you my feelings were like my heart was mixed between sadness and happiness. I was happy because this stored feeling was finally revealed but I was also sad to have to part with you a second time but it didn't feel so painful compared to now, we used to be apart but still greet each other in jokes and trouble but now I'm the only one who can see you, say hello and touch you I can never do again.

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