Wilds
A SHAMEFUL LOSER
*This incident was when I
still in Class 1 High School. The first time Mom scolded me about
woman.
“Do you have a Nugy boy?”
ask Mom firmly
“Which person's child
again Ma'am,” I replied in wonder.
I
confused about what Mom did to me when I was just
get home. I thought because I was fighting. But I feel that I'm the same
once not having a fight with anyone, even I haven't been in a long time
I've been doing that since I was in Pesantren.
“Some days have already
many women have come to this house because of you, and it has come again 5
woman. Tell me what did you do to them?” ask Mom to get angry
to me.
“Oh hahahaha.”
“Why are you even
a laugh? I'm angry, nothing funny.”
“No Ma'am. I just didn't
thought they were really home, that's what made me laugh.”
“What do you mean?”
“They always forced me to
give me my cell phone contact. I'm uncomfortable!! then I told them to ask for it
direct on Mom,” reply me lightly.
“You are so insolent
Nugyyyyy,” said Mother as she reached for my ear.
“Ahh Mom, it hurts.”
“You heard Mom, you didn't
can date before you work Nugy.”
“I never dated
Mother, they're the only ones who approach me.”
“Mom don't want to know, I don't
want to see another woman come to this house because of you.”
“Iya Bu” I replied while
holding my ear reddened by being in the jewel.
“What is this
noisily?” ask Dad who came out of his study because he heard
this commotion.
“You saw this son of yours,
you guys are the same,” said Mother who actually scolded Dad.
“Lah, why be me
being scolded as well,” protest Daddy's astonishment.
“If only your face wasn't
like this surely your son is also not going to make trouble today.”.
“I'm surprised!!! Why
your faces always make trouble in my life,” continued Mom and left
left us.
“Why Your Mother?” ask Dad
astonished me.
“Less Dad noticed
maybe” answered.
“You mean?” tannya
any more.
“It looks like Mom is
want to give a new Brother to me,” I replied with a naughty smile.
“Ah knows you are,”
reply Dad's wrong.
“Hahahaha.” I laughed
then go to my room.
I always remember that incident where my father
still always giving color in the house, the incident where Mom always
control me over my sister. I don't know what Mom's words mean either
that said “That our faces always make trouble in his life.” Facial
my good-looking man was descended from my father when he was young, even when he was
even being a father, his good looks never fade. And now I'm the
be the impact of his good looks. Then brother? he's also real handsome,
but because he's a boring guy so he's not so lyricized by
whomever.
My mother
also is a beautiful woman and even many who recognize her face
that beautiful natural and durable. When she was young she was also a very smart woman,
always a champion one at school but unfortunately, Mother's intelligence is not contagious
to me, it rubbed off on my boring brother Rudy.
In spite of
I'm not good at learning, but I'm a student who achieves time
I sat in High School, and when I was in college I was also the best graduate in the Faculty
with the title Cumlaude even crowned as Campus Activist. But I
I feel it's just because of my luck. Maybe it was all because of me
I went to school in Pesantren which taught me a lot of good things. Honest
I admit that this place is where I am
finding my first stone became a new Nugy, a better Nugy than
preceding.
Subsequent to
I graduated from college, I decided to leave my house to spend time at home
My best friend Goddess with Rojali who is also my best friend. The goddess bought a house
both of his parents who lived were hummed. His family is also rich.
His father was one of the top officials in the Bandung City Government.
Moments
I'm leaving the house. I started myself to work as
small-time project manager with money I saved during my High School and from
the results sell some of my items, such as Motorcycles, Laptops, and others. I
getting that Small project from a colleague I built when I
actively organizing when students first.
Concomitant
time goes by with all my hard work and 2 friends who always
beside me, I managed to set up my own office. Of course I didn't forget
with them both, for they are also always loyal to me. I
choosing the Goddess as a secretary in my office. Rojali is not
working in the office decided to keep my cafe that I built up
our cooperation.
With
that's how I managed to survive in the Wilderness so I managed to make Mom
very proud of me. My father, he never once gave me
congratulations on my achievement. I don't care about him, I'm so
hated it. When I talk about my father, why do my emotions always go up.
I
I am so thankful to God for what he gave me. Already
he gave me a lot of luck, and the most luck
great for me was born from the womb of a magical woman, MOTHER. *
After Mom settled in my house for a few days, today she
decided to go home to Tambun, and because I had something really
can not be left, I also asked Rojali to take my mother
his house.
“Mother be careful yes, sorry
I can't nganterin.”
“It's OK, Mom
get on. Then you go home first and never forget you come again
home.”
“Iya Bu.”
“Be careful you bring
his car,” connect me to Rojali.
“Selow, anyways just to Tambun,
close kok.”
“Ya although.”
“You told me, but
I don't even believe it.”
“Hahaha Nugy, you
go to the office there. I'm okay, besides Rojali is also my son,” said Mother
mediate our debate.
“Well hear that,” Ketus Rojali.
“You are the same, too,
let's go.”
They left, and I too
go straight to the office. On the way, as usual, I was straight
I've been playing my favorite music all along. I am a Baladeva with
Ari Lasso as the vocalist, I like Ari Lasso more precisely.
But I still feel that I am Baladeva, besides I also like to hear
the music of the 90s from the phenomenal diera is the Nike Ardilla alm.
When I got to the office, I parked my car
in-house office. I walked into the open frying room
followed by my best friend Goddess who is also my Secretary.
“Good morning.”
“Pagi.”
“Lu why?”
“Ga No Anything.”
“Lu bored?” ask the Goddess
provide documents.
“Nah, that's you tau.”
“Ish, you have to focus Gy, break it
again we have a meeting.”
“Iya cave tau.”
“What better meeting
we're delayed?”
“Does, continue aja.”
“This is a great opportunity to
we get that Project Gy, so you have to fo-”
“Gua Alright, and
since when do you hesitate the same cave?”
“Gua never had any doubts
lu.”
“Yauda why you
fear is try.”
“The cave is just afraid of us
must meet with the client if your condition is like this.”
“Cave conditions are safe, already
you calm down. Mending you make cave coffee.”
“Coffee mulu lu.”
“Let's cave seger.”
“Yaudah wait. All at once
tuh you read,” he said while pointing to the documents he brought earlier.
The Goddess is my only female best friend. Goddess too
the only woman who hasn't made him uncomfortable in the past besides my mother. Because
she's normal with me, unlike the other women who always
approaching me and making me uncomfortable. The goddess is different, she is a woman who
very sincere to give his attention to me without any intention.
And he has helped me a lot since we knew him in college.
Tak
know what makes us friends. It was Rojali at first
often bothers him, so I also become a follow-up
bothered him. But the great Goddess, she never hurt. Probably things
that's what makes us friends.
From
the Goddess used to be a woman who understood my condition very well, while being
chaotic, sad, happy, angry, and others. He always gives a good solution
under all circumstances, I never hesitated to appoint a Goddess
become a secretary in my office.
Goddesses
also a very smart student and very diligent, even she has a face
beautiful, maybe it has become a tradition of Bandung women to
has a frowny and charming Paras. No wonder so many students and lecturers
who really like it, even until now there are also many who target and
trying to approach. But he decided not to respond too much
they, because for him at this time dating is not the best choice.
After a long time he came out, he came in with a bring
coffee then put it on Nugy's desk.
“Well it dong.”
“Brisik you,” is upset.
“It's been a cave check.”
“Yeah Gy, don't you
aja check. Signature also dong.”
“Well, you'll ask for a cave
read doang, no you ask for a signature.”
“Ah shucks you indeed.”
“Lu the shucks.”
“Yaudah..”.
“Please sir marked
handle,” he said like how the Secretary communicates with his Boss.
“Well it dong.”
“PRETTT,” ledeknya
pass away.
I just laughed
little looked at him who was leaving with irritated feelings towards me.
While waiting for time, I decided to take it out
my cigarette then I sucked, mumpung Dewi was busy preparing all for the meeting
later. The Goddess will be angry if you see smoking in the work room.
This is my room, and I am also the boss. But I
just understand it, after all, the Goddess has also been instrumental in helping me so far.
As I was smoking my lit cigarette, I saw
the watch fitted to my wrist was still half an hour
it was time to relax before we had to start the meeting. However
all of a sudden…
“Gy” call Goddess panic
by opening the door suddenly.
Because of that, I was shocked and unintentionally
grasping the cigarette butts that were burning and hot, of course I immediately
reflex throw.
“Aan kampret, make a shock to you,” annoyed me
while blowing my hand that was hit by a cigarette butt.
“They've come,” He replied
without feeling guilty.
“Ah campsite.”
I quickly got out of my seat then
hurry to tidy up the suit that I was wearing and then go with the Goddess of the room
the meeting that was prepared.
…
“Huahhh, very
tiring.”
I felt that I had to stretch my muscles and I
know the place for it, while walking out of the office to go eat
daylight. The meeting was done by going well, though boring, but
still, we must be happy because we have completed the mission as we did
expect. Our clients are very happy to cooperate with us, they also
willing to agree to the contract we offer, even they ask for more
for a long period of time.
“They love it
your percentage,” said Dewi who suddenly was behind me.
“Udah cave says, lu
just trust me cave,” reply I'm proud.
“This flow of your mind
which is very difficult for the cave to understand until now.”
I just smiled lightly at her words.
“Gua does have
strange friends.”
“Quiet, you too
just as strange.”
“That's because of the cave
influenced by you both,”.
I
he smiled again at her words.
“Cua doesn't need a smile
lu. anyways you think I'm the same with your girls. The melt just look
your smile it.”
“They're not Girls
cave, shucks!!”
“Eleeh sok ngaku,
but you yourself senangkan.”
“Idiiih, happy fuck. Lagian
you are a strange one.”
“Means you?”
“Udah anyway, no need
discussed. Cave laper nih, to cafe yuk,” invite me to shift the question.
“Ntar, you mean whatan
just now,” protested while holding my hand.
“Lu lesby right? That's why ga
fancied ama gua. hahaha,” said I insulted him then went running my car.
while chasing.
We both went to the cafe to have lunch
joint. In the car the goddess was still busy not accepting what I was
say it to him, but I didn't respond and I turned it on
audio of my car at a loud volume. But not the goddess's name if it's easy
giving up, she shrank the volume again, but I raised her again until
until our cafe so continued. When he arrived at the cafe, he continued to discuss it,
and this just makes me angry.
“Apaan si lu.”
“Lu what's.”
“From yesterday you discussed that
mulu.”
“Yes that's why, you pull that
greeting lu.”
“You're just kidding
shucks.”
“But the cave does not accept.”
“Ya it's your business anyway.”
“What are you two
this, Come-come instead of bringing blessings even fight,” said Rojali who was surprised
seeing us fight is unclear.
“This is, brisik mulu
from the office,” I said annoyed.
“Lu made the cave so
noisy,” reply.
“lu.”
“lu.”
“SPITS!!! I am the only one
wrong, I wonder. Brisik your time,” said Rojali who followed upset.
“Yaudah elu,” reply us
seperpak blamed Rojali.
We looked at each other, until
we were amused and laughing.
“Hahahhaha.”
“Jab is indeed you,”
rojali told us.
“Well cave, he is,”
reply the Goddess wants to invite me to argue again.
“Nak aja, you lah,”
reply him.
“UdaHhhhhhhhhh,” squealing
Rojali to both of us.
We were silent, and the cafe looked at us
all the. It made the three of us feel wrong.
“From us fighting,
mending you with me,” Rojali told us.
“Idiiiih also
dengerin lu,” reply Goddess.
“Ah, you heard first
******,” reply Rojali with his terrain log.
“What's up?”
ask her.
“I just got the info
about the girl,” she replied.
“Hah!!!A chick? Which girl?
Wahhh you're both bad. Hide something from the cave,” protest the Goddess to us.
“Alahhh shucks, no
ever calm down just made bah.you also do not you explain the same him,” angry Rojali
to me.
Then the Goddess looked at me as if she wanted to know everything
from me.
“Huft, yaudah deh,”
lazy say.
I told him all about Zulfa, starting
from the first time I met him I was stopped until I met him again
when accompanying Mom shopping at the Mall, and she understood, but still
protestations.
“Wah Gy, this is important
that's for you, but the cave has to know at the end? Bad lu emang,” protest
to me again.
“Ah come,” says Rojali
“Diam lu,” ketusus
to Rojali.
“Makkk beard, really so
angry with me,” annoyed Rojali.
“Updah-udah, mending cepet
you obviously have your info,” I told Rojali.
Later
it could be a while longer to let them argue. And I'm hungry. And
want to immediately eat the food that has been in front of us.
“Nih try you see,” says
Rojali while giving me her phone.
When I want to take the phone, Dewi also took it
in advance. I was so upset with him being like this, I looked at him
with an angry look.
“Heheh sorry,” said
then I gave the phone to me.
“Ah you too,” Ketus Rojali
to him.
“What the hell is lu.”
“I kiss you later huh
long time, cool angry aja.”
I don't mind their quarrels because now I
I was looking at a picture that made me feel something
all this time I never felt, the photo that managed to make me feel like I didn't
be alive.
My heart is like the waves that sweep me away, I
like being slapped by thousands of people who hate me, I'm like grass
in a wide field, trampled, spat upon, and littered. Believe that the heart
I am now so broken, my heart is wounded by a scratch I cannot see, my heart
devastated after seeing my belantar was with its inhabitants. Zulfa with
her lover. Well it looks like it's her lover. Oh no, but it is
her lover.
I was broken, exhausted and helpless. I'm off
leaving them both, I don't care what they do, I'm leaving
with all my hopes that have been lost, time is eaten away.
“I'd rather not
feel love,” I said speaking to myself.
With my unconscious self standing in front of the cafe,
I calmed myself down by lighting my cigarette and smoking it very deeply.
For the first time in my life I felt love, and then I
I immediately received a pain I could not understand.
I
not accepting, my brain began to feel like it wanted to break, my heart began to be unbecoming, Notah
why does the pain start to make me feel emotional, even very emotional
I can't stand it. Why do I feel pain when he doesn't, I have to
share this pain with him. To the man who was photographed.
I left by throwing away cigarettes that had not been used up
I suck, I drive my car as fast as I can. I saw a card
which he gave to me. I quickly darted into that address. I didn't
concerned with the red light that seemed to be trying to intercept me, I just
want to go fast. And then it evaporates all my emotions.
Till
I stopped my car in front of a boutique that I was sure was the place to be
i wanna go. I got out of my car, and stepped up with a feeling of emotion
burning in my heart. I don't care who calls and
holding me back, I slammed down someone wearing his uniform, then
i've left. They called me and I don't care.
Be quiet
you guys, I said in my heart.
I
put my foot through to find someone who made me understand that
love and pain go hand in hand. I approached him, I saw
he seemed to have no idea of my presence. While the others
seeing fear of me. I looked into her eyes, eyes that never were
showed me a lot of fear.
“Lu who is here?
What's up Gy?” askinya.
“Where's your man?” much
to him.
“What do you mean,” said
astonished by squinting his eyes.
“My heart is not
okay, I want to destroy someone, just show me where your man is,”
I reply with emotion.
“Gua don't know what you mean.
But if you want to make a mess here. mending you go.”
I don't heed his words.
“What's the fa?” ask
a man who suddenly came from nowhere.
I looked at the man, my emotions growing
irregular, subconsciously I beat him mercilessly, I don't care about
everyone who screamed panicked at what I was doing.
Until I realized when someone hit right on the
my face, they were so crowded, I was shocked that I could not withstand all the blows
them. I resigned myself to what would happen to me. I resigned with
take a hit from them. I felt no more blows hit me
again, two men took me away from that place, where I don't know, I
closing my eyes as if hoping that what happened just now was an illusion.
“Lu why gy?” ask
the goddess panicked at me.
Hearing that question I realized from the self
being possessed by a demon that made me shrouded in a very burning emotion earlier,
I see my surroundings. We were at the park.
“Stupid time you,” maki Rojali
to me.
I'm more and more astonished by what's happening. I don't know why
we could be here, and I could feel the pain in my face, too, I
directly standing walking towards the car, I saw the glass of the sepion. I'm admired
with my face turning blue, I walked up to them again.
“Why are we here?
Why the cave can bonyok like this,” asked me wonder to them.
“HAH!!” reply them
bemused.
I became more and more astonished.
“Lu is not aware of the same
who are you lasalin?” ask the Goddess.
I didn't reply, I just put on an astonished expression.
“Eh begok's. Try not
Pretend you're stupid,” continued Rojali chimed.
I was surprised by what he said, but tried to remember what
what really happened just now, and why am I bonyok like this.
“Gy, you don't want to remember,”
the Goddess panicked.
I didn't pay attention to it. I may have lost my memory,
I still know these two people, and I try to remember what they are
actually happened.
I'm just beginning to remember what happened, I
just hit someone, and I also remember why I bonyok like this, I
being attacked by some people who seemed like it was a group of men I had
hajar. How dare they attack me.
“BANGSAT,” pekikku.
They were both shocked to hear me.
“CARRY THE CAVE TO WHERE IT WAS,”
scream to Rojali.
He just fell silent
“CEPET!!! YOU WAIT FOR APAAN,”
I shouted at him again.
“Lu want to say?” ask the Goddess
panicked while holding me back.
“GUA WANTS TO BEAT TU
PEOPLE PEOPLE,” reply me.
“I won't want to,”
rojali said firmly.
“BERNAI LU ARGUES
CAVE?” snapped to him.
He just kept his fear of me.
“PLAKKKK,” Goddess
slapped me.
My cheek hurts from being slapped by him.
“WHY LU NAMPAR GU-”
“MORE CAVES SLAP
LU,” responded snapping at me.
I
he was silent, not wrinkled, and then stood still. We all fell silent, until
The goddess began to speak softly.
“Since when you don't have
self-esteem gini gy,” said Dewi lirih.
“Gua know you are very disappointed
same photo, but you can't be rich gini.”
I watched the Goddess speak.
“Nugy we know that
never rich kid like this.”.
“Lu said the same
we are not the ones who can make ourselves
look embarrassing.”
“But..”.
His words were cut off, he cried unable to continue
to speak again. Rojali tried to calm the goddess
crying for my childish attitude.
I fell silent while digesting all of the words from the Goddess
just now, I've made a mistake on myself, I've done
something that made my pride fall in front of them, I was already acting childish
until they are ashamed.
I walked closer to them both. I crouched down
in front of them while holding the hand of the Goddess and then I hold her fine.
“Sorry cave,”
down to him.
“Gua will fix
everything” connect me.
“Gu—”
“We Gy, the three of us
who will fix this all,” said Rojali cut my words.
“I'm sorry too, should be
sooner I find that info,”.
I just smiled at her words, then looked at the Goddess
she also wiped her tears. The biggest mistake of my life
making my Friends ashamed of my attitude just now, I have also underestimated
they're for what happened.
The truth hurts, but why can't I believe it
they tried to calm me down earlier, I just left
those with a sick feeling that managed to make me a cowardly man in front
everyone who saw me.
When we got back to how we were, we saw
there's been some police cars coming to pick me up, I've
breaking traffic rules, already doing chaos in people's places, and
causing a commotion that battered me by myself. It's so embarrassing
for me, but I have to take responsibility for everything.
I
standing proud of the two of them, I smiled
them.
“Come, the cave has been picked up,”
I say bravely to them.
“Kita Gy,” said Dewi.
“Yes we,” connect Rojali.
“Well you're right, we're done
picked up,” reply me while walking towards the apparatus that was waiting for us.
I smiled at this very embarrassing incident,
I look like a criminal. I remember my mother who will
worried about my situation, I apologized in my heart to him,
for Mother.
We also boarded the officer's car
the law is to be taken to the police station to be examined against me.
My friends were also brought in for allegedly conspiring with me. Ahhh
totally humiliating.
