This Is Not What I Want

it's finally...

The exam announcement has arrived, all graduation announcements are sent to each student's home by post, with the aim that no motorcade interferes with environmental safety. And i'm...

"Yeaaay Pass!" Shouted Kak Tiwi happily, who passed me her happy.

Since that day of my meeting with Mr. Huda, I let go of all my burdens. Living my life like it worked.

I went to P, Papa's hometown, left all behind, fled. Enjoy all alone, even Arman.

Our relationship is still going, now it's been five years I've been away, and that means I've been in town for a long time. To support myself and pay my rent, I worked part-time, on the sidelines of college. Accepting odd jobs I also do, anything that is halal and makes money.

After graduating from college, I deliberately did not give any news, although only a long distance relationship I believed in him, I went home alone and deliberately came to Arman's house without telling him before.

I put my foot forward without hesitation, and waited, Arman was not home, but there was that woman, the young woman who used to be present at the Arman family event, she said, he looked at me uneasily as well as the Arman family, I asked all, but no one explained anything to me.

Finally I ventured to myself, saying that if Brother Arman was not around, and it seemed that my presence was just a bully, I would leave, when I said goodbye, suddenly the Arman family said, say something I've been afraid of all this time.

"Well, go and come casually, where he had been, after going so many years suddenly came without giving news, his sister is not real, surely his sister is also not real. It's gonna be the night, which girl dares to go out the night, if not the real girl."

My tears were dripping without me noticing, I looked to see who would dare to talk like that about me, when Arman came home, from the mosque. She was confused, also shocked, and pulled me, taking me to her room without caring how many pairs of eyes were staring at us.

I'm still crying, breaking my heart, all my feelings, I just want to go home to tell Arman, I've graduated college, where your promise to marry me is. The high school girl you gave me your sweet promise.

"Riri when did you come, why not tell me first? Have you eaten? I made you a drink, huh? You want to stay first, it's late at night, you can't possibly get a bus to grandma's house. You sleep here." Arman seemed busy taking my mind off.

"What's really going on here? Did my departure they think I was selling myself? I went to college there so I could be a better person, have better knowledge, so I could open my own business like you, so I could be a good mother. But what I got, an insult."

"I came to collect your promise, but it doesn't seem to matter anymore. It is inappropriate for a sister***** to be married to a religious worship expert like you." I took off all the engagement rings that Arman had given me, as well as Arman's parents.

"I give it back to you, you should just say that if your feelings have changed, don't hurt me like this. Because you promised."

I took my feet away, out of the house of Arman, with all the insults that were not cleared up, all the tears that I could bear, thanks to the strengthening of Mr. Huda, my friends. I made it with my college, my odd job, I wanted to surprise her for Arman, but I was surprised.

Even Kak Tiwi managed to turn into a single Mother for Kiki, but one's past couldn't be erased just like that. The past, especially the bitter past, may not be lost forever. My brother committed a sin, but I also felt the consequences of his actions, however closed it would not take away his reality, even though it had turned into a better person, he said, environments that cannot accept change still taste the bad of the past.

I cried, not even realizing where I was moving my legs, until the bright light came, and a cry turned my gaze, in the starlight, I saw Arman running towards me, calling my name so many times as I wanted, but the dizziness that suddenly came, and "Bruk" a blow came crashing hard on my body, I was thrown somewhere, and "brag..." I felt numbness all over my body, something warm running down my forehead, what this side of my hand could still move and touch, blood...

As Arman's voice came closer, while the rest of my tears were still flowing, my grandmother wanted to sleep in your arms... Hugged Riri nek. and I fell asleep and did not feel pain again forever....

Everything that happens is not what I want... I want to be happy, but God wants something else.

I accept all of God...I will be happy with You, Lord, only You can wipe away my tears...

Horeeeee is done, hopefully if anyone reading this novel can benefit, and become a better human being. My novel is still lacking, Thank you to all who have voted and willing to give like, comments also advice. Till also again😍💖💖💖💖💖