This Is Not What I Want
A secret love, the beginning of my first real love...
happy Friday, good Friday,
happy day National Batik 💖💖💖
May the blessings of God always be there for all of us 😇😇💖💖💖
I sat back in the chair, and wanted to say everything. But, "Ri...are you angry if I fall in love with someone else?" 😮🤔😌🤭😇 My feelings are mixed, "Sister... Really? Who's lucky to have your love?"
Arya still avoids my gaze, is she embarrassed? What's he thinking? How can I be angry? I want to tell you, uh I'm surprised first🤭
"Sorry Ri, I didn't mean to hurt your heart" Arya lowered her head even deeper, not daring to look at me. Hmmm something's wrong with this. "Sister!" I shouted loudly. Arya raised her head, and now she sees me,😠....🥳😂😀
"Ri, I'm really sorry."
"Why do you think I'm going to be mad, hey Arya! If you're really in love with someone I'm the happiest person."😊
"I may have great love and affection for you, yes I would be jealous if you share your love with others. But I realize very well Arya you are not mine, we both have promised we would prefer to be friends until the end, even I feel with our strange relationship, this, if you marry your wife, you'll be jealous of me, too, but I'll be the first person to walk away from you for your happiness. I made you a big brother, made you my guardian and protector all this time, but maybe it's time, it turns out that when I try to accept someone to come into my heart, your heart is also starting to like someone." Arya looked at me confused.
"So you'll take it? accepting others closer to me, maybe I can no longer take you home, can't help your duties, don't have time to confide in you." I covered her mouth with both hands. Look at her, considering all the time we've spent in school together. Even though we take part in different extracurricular activities at school, when there is a school event that involves all students in this school, it still always makes us take care of each other. This relationship is strange, but none of us will go any further, to have each other as lovers.
I lowered my hands, and smiled, "I must have lost you brother, all this time you took care of me, without friends realizing, the relationship we have let them judge and assume what, we know. Can I still ask for my rights as a sister? stay a big brother to me, come if I need you as much as you can, give your time to me as you can."
"Riri, he gave me conditions, he's willing to accept me, only if I leave all the relationships I have with you. He's afraid of not being able to understand and not being able to accept our situation, he's..."Arya stammered telling me everything...What love do we have? What kind of relationship we had, I just looked at her without realizing my tears were dripping.
"When someone else declares love to me, he asks for conditions as a gift of love for you. Brother, look at me, tell me boldly and clearly. This guy, do you really love him? You want to be with him?" Arya wiped my tears, and "Yes Ri, I like her, I want to be with her, I think she's the same, so I dare to declare my love to her, I did that when Erdian declared his love for you. I thought that if you and Erdian, I could calm down, but it turns out that you are not the same as Erdian. I'm confused Ri."
"Sister, it should be that if she really loves you, she will not ask for any conditions, when the woman is married and her future husband gives her dowry, it is not to buy it or a condition for her love, it is not to buy it, but it is a sign of how much love for the woman or the highest price value of the woman in the eyes of the prospective husband. I love you I love you my way, go brother, pursue your love, we will forever be brothers and sisters unconditionally. Forget all my requests, it turns out this is also why IPS as my major, we will be completely separated now. But I can still see you, so you have to be happy, because if you get hurt I will be the most disappointed. And remember when he let you down, don't forget the way home."
"Today you'll tell her you've let go of all your relationships with me, and started a new relationship with her. And I will also accept my new relationship with Arman. Now let's help me, collect the books on this assignment, and take me home who knows this is the last time you'll be boncengin my bike." I stood up leaving her, brought a portion of the stack of taskbooks and walked towards the teacher's room. I wasn't waiting for him to follow me, because I was sure he would help me one last time. I've already put down the stack of taskbooks I've brought. When I was about to step my foot home, Arya came with the rest of the stack of books of duty, she went into the teacher's room, put the pile on the same table as me. He walked over, grabbed my hand, and took me to the parking lot. "Wait for me, I'll take you home." I silently looked at her from far away from where I stood, in my heart saying I truly wish you happiness.
Arya drove me home on her bike. We were silent all the way, upon arrival in the alley in front of my house. I stopped him when he wanted to go straight away, "Sister, from tomorrow we will remain friends, still sister brother, do not ignore me, do not turn your face as if you do not know me, we keep our distance but not our relationship. Promise?" Arya nodded, she seemed to be trying to stem her tears, "Thank you, be careful, brother!" I waved my hand, Arya smiled, "Thank you De." We're moving our feet in a different direction now. I can calm down now I think, in IPA class later maybe Arya will be able to one class with Sasha, I smile, it turns out Arya brother can fall in love with Sasha. You'll be happy. Definitely happy...Because I will try to be happy by accepting it....Armani...
