The Single Parent

Cannot Express Feel

Hp reads, there is a message in whats up I open a message in whats up.

"I've reached my bidadar's house, I love You" he said.

"Mas Arif, how much more pinter is this? my answer.

"Rin.. If not the mass of iddah surely today you are already my wife, I must now be beside you, Rin.

"Mas Arif could have" I replied briefly.

Though this chest has been dag dig trembling and lips smile themselves fortunately mas Arif through chat try if he video call must be found if I also want him to be my husband, but jaim first, please tell me to leave me for so long until I am raped by Ardi, until I am pregnant have children and divorce.

"Rin... tomorrow I go home once in the morning, cook for me? I want to eat your cooking" he said again.

"You want some omelets?" bargained.

"I'm not good at cooking" I said.

"It's okay to get omelette noodles" he said.

"I'll see my bidadar in the morning soon" he said.

"Ha ha ha ha" I reply.

"Sleep first Rin, I love you my bidadiku" he said.

"Yes, have a good rest, thank you all" I said.

I look at Vano's face, your name is also his name, I purposely gave Arif's name in my son Vano's name because I want to remember him always, always, but when she comes in front of me so many times to express love why it is hard for my heart to express that I miss you too, I love you too, I want to be your wife forever, too, why am I so hard why can't I? wh why?

I know it was Arif who was always in my heart, even he was my first love, why can't I say I'm love too.

What God is in me?.

Why am I so indifferent to him?.

Why can't I just treat her like I used to?.

Is it because Vano's father makes me hate men?.

Mas Arif forgive me, I have not been able to reveal my true race, be patient waiting for me forever, because I also love you.

Time showed at 11 pm I fell asleep after satisfied crying, I kissed Vano and I fell asleep with peace while hugging the bolster, already relieved this feeling of heart, if it had been crying, if it had been crying, let me alone know my feelings for now, a love so strong so great for Arif mas, that I dare not express it myself for I fear to lose it, I was afraid he would leave me.

******

Tomorrow morning...

The sound of the car stopping in front of my house, must be this Arif mas, I'm ready with the omelet noodles I promised last night

"This is the omelette noodle mas I promised last night" I said with a smile towards Arif.

I will change my attitude, I want to be warmer in the remaining few days, because mas Arif will return to Papua, let these few days be something that Arif longs for to return to this city.

"The ice is good for Rin, is there still?" tanyakanya.

"Well.." My eyes were wide.

"Recase...!" I said with a smile.

"It's good" he said.

"What's the hunger?" my question is, he just smiled.

"So soon, I'll do it again, wait another 15 minutes" I said.

"Vano... in front there is Om Arif, Vano same Om Arif play huh?" I said from the kitchen.

"Yes Mother." replied Vano.

Finished making the omelet and headed to the living room, where Vano and Mas Arif were playing cars.

"Vano will?" tanyo Mas Arif's.

"This must be delicious, Vano also wants Mommy?" vano

"Eat the same Om Arif ya Vano?" ask Mas Arif.

Vano nodded his head.

That's the atmosphere this morning, there's Vano, Mas Arif, me, also my parents, it feels complete life, it feels complete, but unfortunately just a few days away this atmosphere will change like some time ago without the presence of Arif mas.

After I finished packing, I said Mom and Dad left for work and drove Vano, yes, this one week Mas Arif promised to take me, even though his house was not far from my workplace, but, pity is also the truth, but it wants. only 5 days left Mas Arif left for Papua, this heart feels very heavy but I can not say it.

*****

After taking me Mas Arif home to his mother's house.

"Rif... Where do you go every morning? said mother.

"Pick up your son-in-law ma'am? answer Arif

"Who's Rif? why don't you take her home, introduce me to Mom? said mother.

"Report Ma'am" replied Arif.

"What's up Arif? it seems like there's something you're hiding from me" Mother asked carefully.

"Mom... Do you agree with my candidate? whatever his status, whatever his condition?" ask Arif.

"What happened to your candidate?" ask Mother.

"Mom..I love him so much, I found my life again after being separated ten years? arif explained.

"He was your old high school boyfriend?" ask Mother.

"Yes?" answer Arif

"Mom agrees, her son is good" said Mother

"But Ma'am." asked Arif hesitantly.

"Why?" ask Mom softly.

"She's divorced, she's got a daughter? but I know the story of why she got divorced and why she married another man, I was wrong Mom, I never gave her the news, I didn't look for her either, I was busy with myself, I was busy with myself, I can't take care of him, if I was there for him that couldn't have happened" Arif told Mother.

"What happened to Rinda?" ask Mother.

"She was given a drink with the cure and raped until she became pregnant" Ms Arif replied.

"It's so rude of the man" Mother said in an angry tone.

"Rif.. take care of him, give him certainty, so that he wants to believe in you, calm down with you, difficult Rif, through a period of trauma like Rinda, experienced, Your mother is a psychologist so know very well that Rinda, it's still good that she didn't kill herself or kill her child" explained Mother.

"So you agree with me with Rinda?" ask Arif

Mother nodded in agreement as she rubbed my hair and passed away leaving me alone in the living room.

"Rif. sometime you invite Rinda and her son here" said Mother from inside

"Yes Ma'am" said Arif

*****

A few days I spent with Mas Arif and Vano, only two days left Mas Arif left, why time so quickly passed, just let it go, but it could be that there's a woman in there too I thought in my heart. Rinda...learn to trust people must...should not suudzon Rinda.

*****

Saturday morning..work holiday..Vano school holidays.The most delicious it is to sleep on a mattress all day, enjoy the taste after five days full of activities, sound of cars from outside, sound, surely Mas Arif came to think of me, but I haven't had a bath, Vano hasn't had a bath either, just cut it out of the room wearing clothes covering the aurat and hooded with a pillow face he he he.