The Short Poetry Collection

Lose you

The sound of an alarm ringing on the phone managed to get me distracted and open my eyes. I immediately turned off the alarm, then checked all incoming notifications. Of the many notifications, there was not a single reply from him. It had been three days, but he still refused to reply. Never reply, not read. All the ways I tried to talk to him, but none of them worked. A phone call or a visit to his house is meaningless. He always refused to meet and talk to me.

"You lied to me again" she said coldly without looking at my face as we met in an already deserted cafe. It's just the two of us here, probably because soon this place will close.

"You mean? What lie?" ask me with a lazy tone. We must have fought again after this.

"What else is lying? He said Risa was just a temen, but what? You two walked in yesterday, right? You didn't want to meet me yesterday because you made a deal with Risa, right? Not because you are busy with your work. Aye, right?" He raised his voice and looked at me sharply mixed in disappointment.

I let out a rough breath. "If so, why? You want me to cancel my promise to Risa?" I answered flatly, lazy to quarrel with him.

"Sa, I never forbid you want to go with anyone, including any girl. This isn't the first time you've seen this. What is our relationship, anyway? I'm still your girlfriend, aren't I? If something's wrong, say it." The frustrated tone was clearly heard from his voice.

"We break up if we do," I said briefly with a straight look looking at him.

He looks surprised. His mouth opened, and then he clenched again, not speaking. We were both silent causing a silent atmosphere. I'm tired of all this myself. The last few weeks there have always been fights between us. Trivial things turn into big mistakes that must be fussed. Maybe we don't fit anymore. If so, then breaking up is the best middle ground for both of us.

"OKAY. If you want to break up, yes we have broken up," he said after a moment of silence.

I don't know what he was thinking or feeling at the time. There were no tears flowing that day. After that, he just went right away leaving me and his favorite hot latte that he didn't drink at all. From that day on, we never met or talked again. And that made me realize one thing. That, the decision to part with her was the stupidest decision I ever made.

My next days were empty. There is no one who always asks me. No one is always nagging me for not eating, even though the sun is at its peak. No more good-bye that brought me to sleep. No more noise from my phone.

It is true people say. We can only appreciate the existence of someone when we have lost it. Now, whatever I do won't be able to turn everything into the way it was. Pondering and regretting my past mistakes could not improve things at all. I came back alone because of my own selfishness. Perfect as a fool.

Your shadow illusion

Smile on your lips

Your beautiful eyes

The smell of your body

Your presence

It's always been in my mind

It always feels in my imagination

Call me crazy

Everything about you is always torturing

The mirror feels scolding

Each time you stand up

In front of him

Or just hear me again?

If you knew this would happen

Of course I won't let you go

Will you come back?

Dozens of continuous tones

Hundreds of messages that never connect

Rain or drought

Cloudy or cloudy

Your door is always closed

Just for me

Sorry

Thousand sorry

I'll tell you

Delivering my regret

Begging you to come back to me

Just in dreams, I know

You deserve to be happy without me

I'm gonna have to suffer without you

This is my karma

For betraying you

I try to remember the things I always did before he came into my life. Busying myself with everything that could make me stop thinking about it. However, it seems like the universe deliberately wanted to avenge him for hurting his beloved woman. I met him this afternoon, after months of never seeing or contacting each other.

Of the many restaurants in this city, I could have attended the same place as my ex-boyfriend. The most painful part was when I saw a man also with her and they both looked happy. There was a slight feeling of disbelief when I saw the girl who used to be mine smiling at another man. Yet again I awakened myself while condemning. It's all my fault. The farewell was my fault. And, everything I feel right now is worth it.