The Short Poetry Collection

(Not) Fine

Inspired by: Fine – Taeyeon

The birds chirping outside sounded the spirit of welcoming the morning. The originally dark room gets a little lighting due to sunlight that forces in through the gaps of the window curtain. A woman was still spiritedly drooping on her bed. He could not close his eyes without remembering that face, he was awake all night. Now, his gaze stared blankly at the ceiling above him until tears fell for the umpteenth time.

Suddenly, the voice of a woman entered her hearing along with the open door leaf. "Nay, it's been three days like this. I know it's selfish, but tomorrow we have a schedule. You know, right, we can't play with the fans?" said soft Prima. He took the time to gently stroke Naya's cheek before opening the curtain that covered Naya's room window.

Naya's silent cry instantly turned into a sob. His heart again felt pierced by thousands of small needles. The events of a few days ago had a huge impact on Naya's life.

Prima who heard the sobbing immediately approached and rubbed the back of her friend who was like her own sister, hoping to calm the crying girl a little.

"Take your time! We'll have dinner with the other kids, okay?" prima said after no more sobbing. He left after getting a nod from Naya.

A few days ago, rumors that he and Darsa— - a soloist and junior from the same agency as him - broke up a relationship were revealed by the media, complete with photographic evidence showing their togetherness. Naya still remembers all the moments in the photos scattered in cyberspace. No alibi could save him because it was all true. He and Darsa are dating.

After the dating scandal surfaced, Naya's Instagram comment column was soon filled with slurs and swearing from Darsa fans. On the same day, he was called to the CEO to explain everything. There's Darsa there too, just that Darsa's gone. They both looked at. Darsa just gave her smile and Naya painstakingly helped develop her smile.

As expected, he had to clear up the scandal issue with an apology— which is actually unnecessary because dating is normal— which will appear along with official clarification from the agency.

"You better focus on your work. I hope there are no mistakes like this in the future. You certainly don't want your group to have no support from the agency or worse be suspended, do you?" said the CEO in a flat tone.

Naya was a little surprised by what her superior said. Is this what you have to pay to be an idol? Give up her own life for the millions of people out there who don't even really know her. Even so, Naya still shook her head. He knows that threats are not just playful talk.

Out of the room, he could see Darsa standing against the wall. His gaze was originally staring at the floor before realizing Naya's whereabouts. The man approached Naya who was standing not far from her place.

He looked at Naya in front of him. The one being stared at just subdues the view. Naya did not have the courage to look at the man before her without letting out tears. His eyes had even trouble holding back tears without even looking at his lover's face.

"Naya, look at me!" pinta Darsa is not followed by Naya.

Both of Darsa's hands cupped both of her lover's cheeks, forcing her to look at him. Darsa could see the tear from the girl's eyes and wet her finger.

"Sorry! My fault. I shouldn't have to make you comfortable with me. You will not cry today. Sorry!" lirih Darsa's. His hand moved rubbing the tears of Naya who did not stop flowing even though he wanted to.

Naya shook her head. Whatever happened today was not Darsa's fault, it was nobody's fault. However, Naya's tongue was too dumb to say that. His mind was full of things Darsa might say next. None of those possibilities pleased her. In the end, inevitably, this relationship will end today.

"This relationship is only here, isn't it, Sa?" Naya forced herself to ask. He actually did not need an answer to his question, but in the depths of his heart, he hoped to get no answer.

It was neither yes nor no nor the trunks and nods that Naya received. Darsa pulls Naya into his arms, which Naya replies to. Again, Darsa apologizes to the many times where every apology that comes out of Darsa's mouth thins Naya's hopes of always being with him.

"Sa, we have to leave now" said someone who had been there since when.

The hug of the two slipped off and looked towards the direction where the voice was coming from. It was seen that manager Darsa and also manager Naya were standing a little away from them with a sad look. Their hearts also felt the pain of seeing lovers who were forced to separate. However, they can't do anything. This is the reality they have to accept.

"Be careful of yourself, okay? I go first," said Darsa quietly as he rubbed the top of the lover's head for the last time.

"Sister, keep Naya safe, okay?" darsa said to Naya's manager who is now standing next to Naya. Afterwards, Darsa steps away with her manager and slowly disappears from Naya's sight.

***

For the first time, Naya finally got up from her bed after three days just lying on it. He approached the window of his room, looking at the outside world that looked fine. The sun was still shining brightly outside and now the light was also shining on his room. The trees are still as green as before. Nothing is broken except him. It made Naya smile wryly. He was a little bothered by the fact that everything was still going fine, except for him.

Naya stared around her room until her net was locked at one corner, where several polaroid photos hung. He approached the corner to see more clearly. Everything is a picture of him with Darsa. Naya took off the polaroids slowly and looked at them one by one. In his memory, played every memory that is still well stored. He again shed tears which he soon wiped harshly.

"Don't cry anymore, Nay! When do you want to be like this?" monologue Naya. He sped up his movements, removing the hangers of every hanging polaroid. Some of Darsa's gift items were also targeted by her hand. He had to get rid of those things immediately.

***

The next day, Naya was getting ready from morning. Same with his other group friends. As Prima said earlier, they have a fansign schedule today. As Prima said before too, he should not be selfish and disappoint his fans. Added to this was the clarification from the agency that the rumors were not true and they were only close friends making Naya have no reason to look sad in public. He should not look like a heartbroken man in front of his fans.

"Isn't Nay really that okay?" ask Wilo, the youngest.

They were in the waiting room. There is still an hour left before the fansign event starts, even so the fans have enlivened the location.

Wilo who was standing behind Naya hugged the older female figure from behind. "Eagerness, brother. Brother certainly can," he said while holding both shoulders Naya from behind. Naya patted the back of the youngest hand on her shoulder with a sincere smile.

The fansign event started 20 minutes ago. Naya and four other members have sat down and are talking to fans who always change after a minute is gone while signing a photobook owned by fans.

"Are you really dating Darsa?" ask one of his fans.

Naya who was looking around at which part she had to sign on the photobook was surprised to hear the statement, but she immediately took control. He then just smiled and shook his head. "Darsa is just a friend. A lot of people mistake our relationship, but we're really just friends."

"Thankfully. I can't imagine how painful it would be to break up because of such conditions" the fan said.

"What's your name?" ask Naya. He immediately wrote with a marker in his hand after his interlocutor answered. Naya wrote a thank you note. Not only because it has supported Naya and her group, but also because it is concerned with Naya's condition. At least, thanks to that someone, Naya's feelings got a little better. Not everyone hates it because of the news.

Kurangkai word for word

Write down every taste

Tears paint the story

Telling through rhythmic melodies

What else can I do?

I brought back a smile on my lips

Although the heart is bitter

Like a happy human being

I did not expect the mask to be perfectly installed

Defeating millions of people

Secretly put hope

For sadness to evaporate immediately

Although they look happy, they are all pretending

The night sky had seen it

How broken he is

Just sorry and a short message

End a short relationship

I'm still here

Trapped in the complexities of the heart labyrinth

Like the dumbest man on earth

Could it be happy?

Could I have forgotten?

It all feels not okay

Even so, the heartbreak did not end just like that. Not a single night was spent by him without shedding a tear. He still holds all those memories. Either reluctant to escape or can not escape.