The Secret With Bad Boy

Aspires

The library becomes the place chosen by Kinanti during the break. Demian was invited to look for additional materials for the preparation of the Olympics.

In Demian's hands were already stacked books that Kinanti chose for them to read. There are about six books that they should study as references.

Passing through the hallways between neatly arranged book cabinets, they are still looking for books especially those that will help them learn.

“If Chemical, about material especially yes which will be the question?” while picking up books, Kinanti and Demian were still talking.

“We haven't read about carbon compounds. We're looking over there.” With the look in his eyes Demian pointed at the shelf that was at the end of the hall.

“Okey, I'll take it. You just save the book first, kasian later your hands will ache.” Kinanti was worried about Demian's hand which was carrying six thick books stacked in his hand.

“Okey, let me know if the book is too high.”

“Quiet, no bench. Go, find a comfortable seat.”

“Okey, I wait there, near window.” Demian pointed to a table at the end of the window that led to the garden.

“Ya, I'll follow.”

Demian returned to the table first while Kinanti continued searching for the book. One by one the books were noticed Kinanti on the end shelf. Many chemistry books there and from the title, the same actually makes him dizzy.

He picked up a book with the title Demian had mentioned and read it for a while before deciding to pick it up.

There is a lot of interesting new material to read. Actually this material has not been taught by his teacher but does not rule out the possibility that this material will be displayed in the matter of the Olympics.

“Okey, this is aja.” Kinanti firmly picked up one thick book.

He returned to the table that Demian had chosen.

“Dapet book?” ask Demian. The teenager turned his attention away from the physics book he had in his hand.

“Iyaa, napkin. This is from an outside publisher, in addition to its interesting way of writing is also not boring and easy to understand,” comments Kinanti.

“Which book did you read first?”

“This is. I'm curious about the contents.” Kinanti chose the book Chemistry for her first study.

Demian and Kinanti began to read each other's books. They are dissolved in the theory conveyed by the author. Many new things they knew and made Kinanti occasionally nod in understanding.

Kinanti took out her notebook. He recorded several chemical formulas and began to calculate examples of problems.

“Count what?” Demian was curious about what her study friend was doing.

“Carbon chain. I just saw this theory.” He continued to record the material.

Demian watched him for a moment. Funny as well as Kinanti's writing. Easy to read and remember. The girl also likes to write down the material she wants to learn by adding interesting pictures and colorful ballpoints to make it easy to remember.

“Kinan, may I ask?” Demian asked curiously.

“Can you, about what?” Kinanti continued to write and occasionally glanced at Demian who looked doubtful.

“What do you want to be?” Demian asked seriously.

Kinanti smiled slightly when she heard her friend's question. He glanced at Demian slightly with the tip of his eye. It seems like the teenager was serious about the question.

“Why ask about ideals? Do I look like a person who has no purpose?” Kinanti replied with a question.

“Not so.” Demian rubbed his hair rough.

“Then?” Kinanti stopped writing for a while and chose to stare at Demian. It was as if he was smiling at Demian.

Kinanti nodded slowly, “Iya, you are right, all science I find interesting. That's why I'm also confused by my own choice of ideals.” The girl smiled a little.

“To be honest what is on my mind right now is that my work must have meaning not only for me but also for the people around me. Especially my father, the one who tried so hard to raise me alone.”

“I want to make him calm and be happy with the choice of ideals that I take.”

Demian nodded in understanding. “A teacher might be a good fit for you. Because besides you are good at explaining, your knowledge is also a lot. Yes, I think it's the best job for you.” Demian.

“Oh yes? I don't know, I'm not too sure. Because to be a teacher, I am confused about what subject to be a teacher. Too many choices. That's according. But I'll try to think about it. Thanks for the choice of the idea.” Kinanti nodded politely at Demian. Demian returned the nod with a line of smiles.

“You yourself aspire to be what?” Quintessentially asked.

“Em, what yes?” Demia was silent for a moment while thinking.

“When I was a kid I wanted to be a cop. But now I'm confused. I just thought that I should boast of someone so that no one would shrink me and compare me to others.” Demian's answer sounded giddy.

Honestly, Kinanti did not really understand Demian's thinking because it seemed like this man's thinking was too complex. In his mind, that ideal should make him a happy, new self of someone else. Not otherwise.

“What does doing such a thing make you happy?” Kinanti was getting curious to ask.

“Entah.” Demian slicked his shoulders then rubbed his face rough.

“I like to make others happy. But sometimes I think, if the ideals are just an effort to fulfill the ambitions of our parents or people who put expectations on us.”

“You must be this, later have a salary like this and will be viewed like this. Do you think it's like that too?” Demian looks agitated. It seemed that thought was indeed troubling him.

“No, I don't think like that.” Kinanti shook with confidence.

“Oh yes?” Demian straightened her body and focused on Kinanti. Both of his hands propped up his chin in front of Kinanti.

“Yes, because I think that love is not about what we will get a job, what salary and so on. The ideals are about our life choices, not necessarily about money or not always about proving something to others.”

“Make me, such thinking will only make me feel burdened. We'll just make our choices a boring daily routine, from waking to sleeping again but it doesn't make us happy."

"My perception, when our happy benchmark lies in the happiness of others, it will only make us feel tired. Because maybe the more days their expectations about us will change”

“Isn't it more important to be happy with our own choices?” Kinanti turned the question over to Demian.

Demian did not immediately chimed in, he stared fixedly at Kinanti.

No he denied that all this time he honestly lived below the expectations of others, especially Yudhistira.

He always liked it whenever Yudhishthira was proud of him. He considered himself superior to Kala. For a while, such a thing was fun because it was like he had a confession. Yudhisthira's affection and pride looked even greater against him than Kala, which always disappointed Yudhistira.

But, he did not deny that even Kinanti's speech was right. Often he was tired himself. Many times he felt compelled by what he did. He felt burdened even more when he saw that Yudhishthira was not too proud of what he had achieved and still called Kala better than him.

What exactly did he get all this time? Just confess?

“Hey, why daydream?” Kinanti flicked her finger in front of Demian.

The teenager looked stunned. Just a moment ago his gaze looked blank but this time it had returned even though it had not been completely.

“Kinan, I want to be happy with my choice. What should I do?” batin Demian screeched for Kinanti's help. But unfortunately, he did not have the courage to say it out loud. Until he felt, why Kala who urakan could smile more brightly than himself?

Is Kala happier than she is?

****