
“Kinan,” Kala called Kinanti who walked out of the doctor's room limping. His body felt very weak and it almost collapsed. He ignored the call of Kala which he did not consider.
“Kinant, wait.” Kala immediately chased after Kinanti and tried to hold the girl's hand, but firmly Kinanti shook it off.
“Kinan, please. I know you're angry, but..”.
“Shut!” kinanti Exclamation, slow but full of assertiveness. Kinanti covered her ears with two trembling hands, she did not want to hear anything Kala said.
He sat on the bench with his body trembling. There were no tears dripping just his confused and pale face.
“Kinan, I beg.” Kala stood before Kinanti. He knew he had made a big mistake in hiding something important from Kinanti.
Kinanti did not chimed in, she chose to turn her face away and put her body aside, avoiding Kala's gaze that felt like it was slicing her heart.
“Kinan, I'm sorry. I know me,”
“What? What else do you know and I don't know? Whahuh? You want to shock me?” Kinanti smiled cynically at Kala with her trembling lips holding back a million words of mockery and disappointment that she wanted to use to curry favor with Kala.
“Kinan,” Kala exhaled her rough breath. He was at a loss for words seeing Kinanti's deeply disappointed gaze towards him.
“Go,” sound Kinanti slow but full of emphasis. He no longer wanted to see Kala who lied to him.
“Kinan, I beg you. I have no intention of fooling you. Father...”
“GO!!” kinanti exclaimed without being able to hold it. He even stood up suddenly from his seat while pointing at the deserted passageway towards the exit, with his trembling index finger.
Aware of his loose and voluptuous voice in a place he shouldn't, Kinanti bit the back of her own hand to divert her angry feelings.
Kala looked at Kinanti guiltily. His eyes were red and teary. He pressed the corner of his eye that felt sore and stored a lot of tears.
“Go, as long as I ask you well.” Kinanti repeated her command slowly but with great emphasis. Look at his neat teeth and bluff at holding back the upset at Kala, as well as his sharp-patterned eyes, like laser beams that cut Kala's heart.
“Can't leave me? Are you sure about those words? You certain? Wow, I'm so crispy.” The end of his sentence sounded sweet, but Kinanti's eyes were red and wet, clearly staring at Kala's face filled with regret.
“You do not realize, if you have pushed me to fall since you know this problem but you did not say anything to me? YOU KNOW THAT?!” kinanti's voice was rising again. He was completely unconscious to smother his own mouth sobbing, so as not to be heard by health workers.
“You're evil Kala. Worse than a liar who tricked me.” Kinanti pointed at Kala's chest and then pushed Kala firmly until Kala was forced to recede a step back.
“You didn't just lie to me. So-sookan perangati me as if you are a helper god in my life. But what the truth is, you're worse than a con man, Kal. I've been believing in you all along. I thought you...” Kinanti paused her sentence for a while, as her breathing felt claustrophobic considering what had happened all along behind her.
“Please go, as long as I ask carefully. I don't need you. I hate you!” Again Kinanti pushed Kala's body, but Kala pulled Kinanti's hand and hugged her.
“Kinan, I beg you. You can hit me, you can also hit me. But please don't tell me to leave. How can you tell me to leave while I worry so much about you and dad?.” Kala hugged Kinanti tightly. Very tight, like he didn't want to let go.
“Funny,” said Kinanti cynically and sharply. He tried to get himself out of Kala's embrace and pushed the teenager away from her.
He looked at Kala with anger. “Until now, you are still even selfish. You only think about your feelings which he says are worried about. But, you think I don't feel right now? Think I'm not sick of the negliat your face that pretentious feel guilty? You think I don't feel uncomfortable being around a liar? Don't you? So what are you still here for? I don't need you. I can be strong against everything myself.” Kinanti straightened her originally bent body. He clenched his initially trembling hands, for the sake of looking tough in front of time.
“Now, with all humility I beg you to go and never come back. You swallow that secret that you keep from me. I can find out for myself. I can ask people I can trust more. And it's not you,” firmly the wrathful girl.
Kinanti was really angry. He took off the Kala jacket he was wearing and threw it at the teenager. It was enough for him to know Kala, the man he loved so much and admired. Also the man who stabbed his knife so deeply in the heart of Kinanti.
Kala just sculpted. He understood the sadness of Kinanti right now. It seemed pointless to persuade Kinanti now. The closer he gets, the more rebellious he gets and his emotions get more unstable. Wouldn't it be better if in the meantime he noticed Kinanti from a distance?
“According to your request, I'll go. But whenever you need me, I will come Kinan,” Kala said earnestly.
Kinanti only smiled cynically and then sat on her back lap. He looked at the observation room door with a gamang, but this felt better than seeing the face of Kala that made him sick.
Heavy, but in the end Kala stayed away. He stepped back leaving Kinanti sitting alone in the waiting seat. The girl closed her mouth tightly and also locked her heart so as not to be touched by the gaze of Kala who was loving her. He hugged his own body, all by himself. Because right now he can only believe in himself.
****