The Secret With Bad Boy

Father's Advice

Kinanti's steps were stifled up the paved road with both legs that felt weak and not boned. It was like being struck by lightning when he heard Lukman's request a moment ago.

Stopping therapy, really? How will Lukman be? What if his condition worsens? What's he supposed to do? Can he bear to see Lukman grimacing in pain inside the house and just be a sad spectacle for him?

Akh no, Kinanti can't let that happen. The desire to be with Lukman even longer is still a hope in his heart. He wants to be with Lukman until he grows up, has a well-established job, can buy Lukman good food, give him the best treatment, take Lukman on vacation together, be a guardian when he is married, playing with his adorable grandson and many more dreams that Kinanti wants to make happen with Lukman.

Then at this time Lukman chose to give up, sure he would let it go?

Kinanti stopped her steps for a moment. He crouched on the side of the road crying as he poured out all his emotions. Emotions he could not show in front of Lukman.

From a distance Riko was still watching Kinanti. He knew exactly the girl's sadness and he could feel it. Riko was used to seeing Kinanti who was always calm, in fact her cries could be very broken. He wanted to get closer, but it seemed he did not need anyone's hands to help him stand up. He just needs himself, to make peace with the circumstances that feel cornered him.

Spilled tears made Kinanti's vision faint. As vague as his current feelings. He tried to get back on his feet, not upright, his shoulders sagged. It is hard to accept everything, but he is aware that the burden of pain that Lukman carries is certainly much greater. Lukman does not want to give up, he just wants to enjoy his happy times without pain.

Which should I choose? Is Lukman's calmness facing the end of his life or is his relief seeing Lukman still struggling?

At the end of the road, Kinanti tried to cross. But just one step he took, there was already a loud honking sound that shocked him. Instead of moving, Kinanti even looked there while sobbing. His mind was chaotic, he could not decipher.

“KINAN!” Riko immediately pulled Kinanti's hand to return to the curb.

“What do you think? Do you know that what you did was dangerous?!” riko's voice suddenly rose up without her being able to control.

Kinanti did not reply, she just lowered her head while crying sobbing. Closing both ears with trembling hands.

“Akh shit!” Riko was upset by the circumstances. He knew that Kinanti's mind was empty and filled with sadness. There was no point in him scolding Kinanti who was falling like this.

“Lo wait here, I buy the groceries. What do you want to buy? Sugar, coffee, tee, salt, mecin, keep what else?” riko's sentence is also regular. There was sadness that followed him.

Kinanti did not answer, she even sobbed with a chest that felt very heavy and tight. He did not care about anything including the anxiety of Riko who looked at him with no reason.

"God...." Riko was devastated, knowing that Kinanti's feelings were being deeply broken. The sky probably collapsed a moment ago. Without permission, Riko pulled Kinanti's body for her to hug. He did not care if then Kala would beat him. He only knew that this girl needed to be calmed.

“Gue won't say patient, because I know it's heavy. I just want you to think more realistically. Bokap lo still has hope to be happy for the rest of his age. It may sound like a despair, but we also know how difficult it is to go through a series of actions and therapies that do not know when to stop.”

“There is no possibility to heal, it has become a big blow for bokap lo Kinan. Do you want to aggravate his blow by leaving him alone and feeling guilty? The body belongs to him, you still have the right to choose for his happiness, although this time he may sound selfish. But think from her point of view, think about what her tormented feelings have been like all this time. Think also of the fear that he might not feel happiness again. Think of it, Kinan.”

Riko gives advice at length and Kinanti can only sob. His reasoning was still trying to digest what he had in mind even though it was very difficult for him to understand.

In a different place, Kala helps Lukman to lie on his bed. The man tried to look strong even though his body was very frail. A lot of pain that he did not express just because he wanted to look strong and strengthen his daughter. However, he could not hold on too long, he knew his time was not long and wanted to spend more time with his daughter in a calm feeling without fear of pain.

“Kinan must have been very angry with Dad, until he decided to go.” That one sentence Lukman uttered with a blank look ahead of him.

Kala approached Lukman and rubbed the curved shoulders of the middle-aged man. “Dad, Kala did not deny that Kala was also sad to hear the decision of Father and Kala was sure, Kinan's sadness was much greater. Many of his dreams want him to realize the same father, therefore he was angry. Not angry with Dad, but the same circumstances that corner him and difficult for him to face.”

“Daddy means a lot to Kinan, where maybe he can accept everything so much. But behind that, Kala understood what Dad meant. Kala fully respects Dad's decision. You know better what you feel and want. Sorry, if Kala can't do much for this.” And I say really. He held Lukman's hand tightly. It's so tight as if this teenager doesn't want to part with Lukman.

“Thank you, thank you for Kala trying to understand Dad. It's also hard for Dad. You should know that you are never desperate. But, I want the rest of Dad's day to be filled with the sound of laughter. Not the sound of machines and riots in the Hospital. Aya wanted to see Kinan smile without anxiety, listening to him chattering without worrying about the future. Also do not limit its steps.”

“Kala and Kinan are two very meaningful people in Dad's life. I'd love to be with you until you're adults, but everyone has their time, and so does Dad.”

“Your life is still very long. Whether you stay together or not, please make sure you are okay. Life is not always flat, sometimes there are derivatives there are also climbs to raise your degrees."

"Be great men, who are not only rich in wealth but also rich in heart. Be people who are not only highly intellectual, but also have good emotional and spiritual intelligence. Do not hurt others because everyone already has their own difficulties. Be happy and grateful in any situation. Do’a Dad accompany each step you two.”

Lukman's words were so close and made his breath cry. But he decided to keep it because he did not know, until when he could still breathe and convey this message to Kala. The same message he had told Kinanti a while ago.

"Mom, mom has come. Do you want to pick up dad?" inner Lukman asked there was a faint figure smiling at him.

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