The Secret With Bad Boy
He's the one who has to go
People dressed in black filled the houses. The house that was usually only inhabited by two people was now overcrowded. There were Lukman's colleagues, Kinanti's schoolmates and relatives and neighbors who helped in the recovery of Lukman's body.
Kinanti sat in one corner of the room that is not too wide. Some people approached him and delivered deep condolences. The girl was silent, her mind was still not here, her heart still shrieked in tears over her father's departure.
A yellow flag waved at the fence of his house, as if to remind those who passed by to remember that everyone will leave in time. A second later, an hour later, either while laughing, or when crying. Everyone has their own way as Lukman has to go in the arms of the daughter he loves so much.
Kala is still sitting on the porch of the house, with Riko, Emili and Bertha. Yes today was the first day Bertha set foot in the house of Kinanti. The house he planned to visit to get acquainted with the Kinanti family in fact became a funeral home that he visited with all black clothes and expressions of condolence. He suddenly became a member of this family and received every expression of condolence from everyone who knew Lukman and Kinanti.
“Do you have another family?” ask Bertha. The woman continued to look at the unmoved Kinanti in her place.
“There is a aunt from Bandung. They're on their way here.” Kala looked at Kinanti. The girl was devastated and grieved. Kala could imagine how the loss of a Kinanti felt over the departure of the Father. Half his soul has gone.
“What time will the deceased be buried? Looks like we have to make a decision because Kinanti is still hit.”
Bertha looked at the trying strong girl with worry. The girl was no longer crying sobbing or raging until unconsciousness. Just sit back and pensively remember Lukman's last smile he saw. His round and crooked eyes slowly flickered, still trying to accept that Lukman was no longer on his side.
“We wait for family from Bandung ya Mah. However they are the closest family to Kinanti at the moment,” timpal Kala.
“Iya, Mamah agrees.” Bertha nodded in agreement.he entered the house with Emili then approached Kinanti. The girl's head was rubbed with love. “According to my condolences, yes Son,” said Bertha with her soft voice.
Kinanti nodded slowly, she looked at the pair of eyes that were worrying about her, “Thank you, Bu.” The girl tried to smile.
Bertha did not chimed in, Kinanti's efforts to strengthen herself made her want to embrace the girl. Her chest was tight, holding back tears of sadness. Kala looked at Kinanti and her mother from the outside, feeling sad. He wanted to approach the two women unfortunately his task is still not finished receiving condolences from the people who came.
“Strength, Nan. As you have been messaging us all this time.” It was only that expression that Kala's heart had conveyed to her girl.
Bertha rubbed Kinanti's head and looked at the calm face in her slump.
“Tante Bertha's, Mamahnya Kala, Nan.” It was Emili who then spoke. Kinanti's forehead frowned, she stared fixedly at Bertha. In the midst of his messy thoughts, Kinanti tried to understand what he heard.
“Iya Kinan, not only did I come as your father's former superior, I came as Kala's mother. Sorry because all this time I did not introduce myself properly.” Bertha said with regret. He should have introduced himself from the beginning to this sweet girl.
“Thank you aunt, thank you for coming.” That's all Kinanti answered, still with the same face.
Bertha nodded. He covered his lips withholding a cry while his hands still rubbed against Kinanti's back. He salutes the efforts of Kinanti to strengthen herself. Kinanti simply fell silent, looked at the corpse of the father before her and was in the middle of the room. He became the host of this house sadeharana unfortunately in a condition that is no longer alive.
*****
At nine in the morning Lukman's body was buried. Lukman's closest family had already come and accompanied Kinanti to the funeral. They cried bitterly feeling the loss of Lukman's figure so good. They embraced, kissed and pitied the Kinanti who now only lived a stick of kara. Kinanti did not flinch. He was still in his silence without speaking.
At the funeral, Lukman's body was officially interred. Do’a strands, condolence expressions and flower sprinkles decorate the tomb measuring twice a meter. Kinanti squatted silently beside the tomb. The name of Lukman is currently engraved on a wood with black inscriptions that show the color of the current Kinanti sky.
He re-sown the mound with colorful flowers. The typical fragrance of Cambodia becomes the last fragrance that is smelled by Kinanti. After the funeral, one by one the men left Lukman and Kinanti. They sympathize with orphans who had just sat next to the navel. Holding the red ground that he occasionally squeezed.
His hoarse voice, his light laughter, his piety, his warm embrace, his jokes, his advice, his attention, his tenderness and all the things about Lukman now remain only memories. The man went according to his wishes. It was painless, tearless and without the terrible sounds he used to hear in the hospital. His wish came true and he left quietly after all his wishes were fulfilled.
“Dad,” said softly Kinanti while grasping the red soil in her weak grasp. He stared at Lukman's headstone, imagining it as if the man's face was there and was staring at Kinanti.
“Now Dad is really going and Kinan is alone.” His inner voice was suffocated by a sense of loss. No murmur or sound was heard, only his heart was in dialogue with the shadow of Lukman created by his image.
“Eighteen years four months eighteen days, Kinan has Father. Until last night, not a second did Kinan ever feel the lack of affection Dad. Dad loved Kinan so much, spoiled Kinan, protected Kinan and all the things that not all children got, but Kinan got abundantly and sincerely. Now I'm leaving Kinan the way I wanted. Do you really believe that Kinanti is very strong to face everything herself?”
Kinanti. His eyes were closed in deep thought. It was not until a month that he fought alongside Lukman, but Lukman had to go to the creator. In addition to no longer want to feel sadness, Lukman no longer want to bother his only daughter. Kinantii lamented all of that, but unfortunately nothing could be repeated. Lukman will never return.
“Dad, life is no longer the same after Dad left. There will always be a place that is empty and can never be filled. Kinan has no place to tell stories and talk anymore. No one else counseled Kinan affectionately. Same who now Kinan has to complain, Dad?” again Kinanti clasped tightly onto the red hand, feeling a sense of sadness and loss so real. No matter how much suffering he feels, in fact Lukman will never return. It becomes a reality that must be ready to accept.
“Thank you for all your kindness. Sorry that Kinan was a lot of trouble and trouble for Dad. You don't have to worry, slowly Kinan will improve Dad. Kinan only needed time to accept all of these realities. Mom and Dad are together now. Be happy there without any more pain and fear. Relax, Dad, Kinan is strong. Kinan will try hard to continue Kinan's life which is never the same again. Kinan dear Dad, very dear Dad. That's what Kinan should have said all the time when Dad was still around.”
Kinanti's breath was blowing rough. Everything feels heavy but life goes on.
“Neng,” call a woman whom Kinanti knows as the older cousin of her late mother. The woman touched Kinanti's shoulder, rubbed it and then kissed Kinanti's head. Her tears trickled at the misfortune of this sweet girl.
“We're home, yuk. Dad was calm there. I'd be sad to see a sad cry like this. Uwa knows exactly that neng father really does not like to see sad neng let alone wail.” The woman brought Kinanti into her arms and the people back there could only look at Kinanti with broken feelings. Bertha who had not stopped shed tears. The more tears in Kinanti's face, the more she understood that the blow was received by Kinanti.
Kinanti does not chim. He only rose a few moments from his tantric embrace, rubbed Lukman's headstone fondly and then dipped it long enough. “Kinan Strong Dad, Kinan let dad go. This sadness and loss would remain, but it would not make Kinan blame fate. Kinan believes that father said that nothing bad happens to our lives we should regret. We just have to take it with a chesty air and Kinan is working on it.” This sentence became the affirmation of his feelings for Lukman. He did not want Lukman's soul to feel heavy leaving him.
The beautiful girl started to move from her place. He took the time to gently wipe the mound of Lukman's burial ground while saying goodbye to the father who had returned to the owner.
“Kinan kepang. From now on, we will meet more often in do’a. Calm down over there. Forever, Kinan dear Father,” firmly the girl in his heart.
He smiled crazily at Lukman's tomb and then stood up with his legs trembling. Kala immediately approached and held onto Kinantii's hand so that the girl's body did not collapse.
“I'm fine, Kal,” said Kinanti who tried to push Kala's body a little away from him. He turned around first to leave the men behind and ignored the anxious gaze they were looking at Kinanti.
He limped with his own efforts. Because he knew, one day he could not depend his life on anyone other than himself. Everyone will go his own way the way Lukman is at the moment. But then, the,
“KINAN!” exclaimed Kala when it turned out that the weak body collapsed. Luckily, Kala held him back until Kinanti's body did not fall to the ground.
“Jesus neng!” exclaimed aunt Kinanti who saw Kinanti's body collapse unconscious in Kala's embrace.
Admit it Kinan, even if you're not always okay. "Addduuhh neng. kasian once you." Neneng wept for the currently unconscious Kinanti.
Kala's feelings come with ketar-ketir. He hugged Kinanti tightly and then he carried her with both hands. "Kinan, you're not alone. There's me who won't leave you."
****
