The Pain of being Betrayed

Trying to Be Patient And Sincere

Fajr at 05.10 the voice of the Adzan reverberated. I immediately got up and hurried to take ablution for dawn prayers.

After the prayer do not forget I pray, ask for guidance on the problems I face.

"*O Allah, O Rabbi, it is only to you that I ask and plead, only to you is the best place to complain. I believe only you can turn a man's heart back, so I beg you to open the door of my husband's heart, that he may be changed for the better in your path O God."

"All these trials which you have given me are severe for Me to accept, O God, but I know you will not test your servant beyond the limits of his ability."

"O Allah, O Rabbi, grant Me more patience to undergo this test that you have given, O Allah, until I am able to fight until later happy. Aamiin Allahumma Aamiin*."

After praying, as usual I will prepare the needs of Alif school, and also the needs of Angga mas work.

I will try to be sincere, even though it is difficult for me to live.

"Alif, wake up yok it's almost six loh." said I built it.

Alif does not need to work hard to build it, because it is used to getting up early. So if you wake up there is not much drama.

Alif immediately got up and grabbed the towel hanging on the door of the room.

After taking a shower and wearing school uniform, as usual Alif I told him to have breakfast first.

"Alif, his breakfast is ready mama on the table well, later breakfast wake up papa. Mama wants to be holy first in the brink." said I gave an edict to Alif who was answered with a nod.

I rushed to the back to wash my dishes and wash my clothes.

Honest for now I do not want to meet face to face and greet first with mas Angga. Because my heart still can not accept even though it has been determined in the heart to accept sincerely.

Before long, Angga went into the bathroom to wash his face. I just kept quiet without any intention to say hello.

But still all his needs I'm available, ranging from clothes and coffee. Because it is still my responsibility and duty as a wife.

Around 07.46 am Angga and Alif also left.

*************

"Well, I don't want to talk to papa, if you build papa will definitely tell me. Usually it's Mama who wakes up papa." asked Alif in between his meals after coming home from school.

"Not why, son. What's wrong with Alif waking up papa, hum?"

"It's weird, plus now I see papa and Mama rarely talk."

"Not why, Mama equally fast by the way. Later also talk again, already you finish his meal." said Ku so that Alif did not ask again, because I do not want the problem between Me and Mas Angga known by children.

Alif just nodded and continued eating back.

"Well, what else to add?" asked when I saw the rice on Aisyah's plate was running out.

"Yes, will." replied Aisyah as she put the last mouthful into her mouth.

"Well, eat a lot. Let Ayis hurry her gedenya and go to school like a brother." said Ku thrust the plate that I've added rice to Aisyah.

"Yes, Mah. I want to go to school at my brother's place too."

"Yes, Ayis will also go to school there. Let him be a good boy and memorize the Quran."

"Yes Mah." replied Aisha briefly because again focus with her food.

"Be ready to eat, sit down first down the rice. After that it was a day well." said I gave the decree which was answered nod by Alif and Aisyah.

Well, the kids always I get it if the afternoon is mandatory to take a nap.

*************

It's been a few days I've only spoken a thousand languages if Angga mas is at home.

For example, today is the weekend, Angga mas will be off work and will be stanby at home all day with a mojok with his beloved HP.

My Heart has begun to accept and be sincere in the destiny that God has given Me.

Because actually a person is like sand, if you do not want him to go away do not hold it too tightly.

That's why I'm no longer open with what he does, want him to play HP all day please, want to chat with other women yes bodo' time'. I just want to live quietly at this time without any more fuss.

"Honey, please make coffee well" said mas Angga. This is the first time Angga ngajak mas talking after the incident a few days ago.

Without saying much, I immediately went to the kitchen to make coffee.

It didn't take long for me to make a cup of coffee. I headed to the living room to drop off the coffee.

As he was about to step away from there, Mas Angga stopped my steps.

"Darling, sit down first. I'm gonna talk."

I just receded and sat in a chair facing directly with the Angga mas.

"You're still mad at me. Yeah. I'm really sorry for my khilaf."

I just kept quiet, without any intention to answer.

"Darling, honestly I have no intention to take my joke heart with my gaming friends, so I'm sorry for me." said Mas Angga again begging me to forgive him.

I took a deep breath before answering the words of Angga.

"Mas, for now honestly I'm still angry, disappointed at what you did behind my back. But I will keep trying sincerely and forgive you for the umpteenth time. I don't know with my way of life in front of him, whether we will stay together until death separates or even later separated because of your own actions." answered I try strong and firm.

"But for now let us live like this, I will no longer curb you want to do it, you want to hang out with your friends please. You want to play games all day long too. We just live this household life alone, without interfering in each other's affairs." continued Me again