The Pain of being Betrayed

Just Promises

"Honey, tomorrow-tomorrow do not go out the house like last night again yes, not good for your womb" said mas Angga when breaking his body in bed.

"Mas, I wouldn't be like that if it wasn't for you, I'm tired of it..!! Tired of heart, tired of mind and tired of body too, but you don't want to know about it."

"I am pregnant again. Need attention, need a friend to share the story, I have no one here Mas." continued me again with a voice that had vibrated to hold back the cry.

"Yes I'm sorry, I promise I will pay more attention to you, the same as our child-to-be. Don't cry anymore." said Mas Angga while wiping my tears that had dripped can not be held anymore.

My weakness is that when the Angga mas has been behaving like that, I can't be angry for long and can't help but forgive him.

"Yes, nothing. Maybe I'm also being too exaggerated towards you, the effect of pregnancy hormones as well." said I while peeling my head into his field, as usual feels very comfortable in a position like this, which I haven't felt since I moved here.

"Yes, I know how, baby, you've slept already at night."

"Good night, and happy father's son" continued Mas Angga while stroking my stomach. I can only smile because this is very rare I feel, because the days of Angga mas usually only in the run out by playing PS.

Because it was already very sleepy, it did not take long we have entered the dream realm

********

In the morning I woke up with a smile on my lips, because when I opened my eyes the first person I saw was my husband. Since living here it has rarely been a moment like this I feel. Usually when going to sleep only bolsters that accompany, to open your eyes in the morning was still bolsters that I found, mas Angga always stanby in front of the television playing his favorite Naruto games.

I woke up, satisfied to observe his face which was still asleep. I do housework. Well, since living here I have never been absent from doing homework, ranging from washing dishes, washing clothes, cleaning the house, to cleaning the yard even I do. Because I don't want to be told just hitchhiking and just lazing by my in-laws, because I was very self-aware of my position at that time.

In the afternoon, after cooking I saw that Angga mas was back with his usual activities. A little disappointed I felt. Just last night and morning I felt very happy, I think Mas Angga really-serious with his remarks, it turns out all that is just a mere promise.

" Assalamu'alaikum" said papa mas Angga who made me realize from this disappointment.

"Walaikumsalam" I replied as I greeted my father-in-law.

Well, my father-in-law, who I thought was very scary when I first met, is now a very nice person, caring and affectionate to me.

Still remembered when I was first here, my father-in-law bought me special clothes pregnant people because he knew, If I do not have maternity clothes. Until now was still the same, when the harvest always gave me pocket money. Papa-in-law always says 'This is money for your snacks, usually if pregnant people like this cravings and that, do not be loved with Angga money'. It was my father-in-law who made me feel like I had a biological father here.

"Where's the Angga..??" asked my father-in-law wailing in search of the existence of the Angga mas. My father-in-law must come here every day, shower and eat in this house, not in the house they live in.

"Biasalah Pah." I replied briefly as I continued sweeping the kitchen.

"That kid..!! Already want to have children, still playing games" upset my father-in-law.

"It's Pah, let it be when he's like that."

"Yes, has Papa eaten..??" keep me on switching the conversation.

"Not yet, Papa ran out of the palm oil plantation directly here."

"Then please eat Pah, I happen to cook balado eggs." I bargained.

Usually if my father-in-law gets a good harvest, then later on he told to make chicken sauce. All spices are complete in love with my father-in-law. Because she knew I was pregnant again, the chili was milled directly on the market. So I already know how to stay fried.

"Papa want to shower first all want to pray zhuhur, then you will eat."

"Well, the sambal I keep the usual place well Pah." said I who was nodded by my father-in-law, he also passed to the bathroom.

******

"Mas." reprimanded me who was sitting next to the Angga mas who was playing PS.

"Hm. "the answer is short.

"It turns out that I was wrong to hope that you, Mas, I thought you were really serious about what you said last night, that would change everything" I said bowed sadly.

"Yes, I'll try, baby."

"Well Mas, free too I wish much of you, now I will not demand anything else with you. It's up to you to do it now. I don't care" I said as I moved from there without waiting for an answer from the Angga mas first.

Here I am now, in my room..!! The safest place to get this heart out, don't forget I locked the door.

Crying, crying and crying are the most powerful ways to reduce this burden on the heart.

I want to go home to my village, but later what reason I will give to my parents. I don't want to make them sad too, in addition to my condition which is still pregnant. After all, this was all my choice, not my parents' choice.

I picked up a book that used to be my confiding friend.

Oh Allah...

Why is everything so complicated like this

Why does happiness in my home feel so short

The person who has been very Alaku-puja, the person whom I have loved and cared for so far

Now change..

Not like before, before we got married

I will be able to get through this, O God

Give me more patience

To be able to pass this test of yours

^^^nov, 2014*^^^