THE LOVE OF LOVE, AZZAHRA

GOODBYE

Zahra stared at the entire corner of her room with her sad eyes. Will be very long with the atmosphere of the room containing his memories with Hafiz. The room that always makes him calm and feel the warmth of the husband who has long gone. Maybe later, this room will make him want to go home. The room that always made him miss his figure.

A heavy breath repeatedly came out accompanying his movements, from earlier. Single-minded. Yes, Zahra must be sincere, sincere if one day he will not find the atmosphere of the room containing pictures of himself and Hafiz displayed in every corner of the room wall. Sincerely accept the destiny that makes him have to set aside a figure who has been the ruler of the heart. It cannot be selfish. Many people look forward to his change even though none of them know how Zahra's heart really is.

It's not a sincere thing about Hafiz's departure, obviously that's not the case. He sincerely lillahita'ala that the fate of Hafiz must return first. He just feels unable to love again. There is fear in him if he has to get hurt again. Not an easy thing for him to love someone, even the figure of Hafiz did not necessarily immediately make him fall in love. It took time for Zahra to string together every piece of love until she was sure that the figure of Hafiz was the owner of the voice that always shook her heart.

And when his heart has been fully devoted to the figure of Hafiz, now it is forced to love another figure. Isn't that too selfish for him. He really misses Hafiz. Long for his warm embrace, long for his soft voice, long for his shady gaze, long for the smile that always makes him calm, long for the beautiful voice that always shakes his soul. He longs for all that is in Hafiz but he realizes that love does not always have to have, which is why he is loyal to his taste for many years because of his love for Hafiz is holy and sincere. He only hoped that one day their love would be back together in His heaven.

But the path of destiny no one knows. The tight grip on his love for Hafiz must slowly unravel. God has other plans for his life. There was another figure that had been planned for him. A figure that might accompany his old age. The figure that would hold his hand, walked together through every obstacle that occasionally greeted him. A figure that will lead him to the most beautiful place, the place that became the final destination of his life.

Farid is that figure? I don't know, only God knows. It was just that figure that was currently especially close to him. He will try to try to accept his presence, trying to love her when lafadz qobul has been spoken by Farid. Yes, Zahra would have learned to love her if she had legitimately been Farid's wife instead of this time. He did not want to risk getting hurt again if God returned to keep him away. The soul mate no one knows why he chooses to love when the sacred sentence has been spoken.

Zahra rested her body on the edge of the bed. One large suitcase filled with his clothes was already tightly sealed, beside him. While another small suitcase containing books and other necessities is under not far from him. This afternoon is finished he packed his needs, it means to the house of his in-laws spend the last night in the city which has many fond memories because tomorrow afternoon after ashar is his flight schedule.

Geck..

Geck..

Geck..

"Ommy?"

The sound of knocking on the door continued the call from Raffa, making him re-conscious from the daydream. Zahra got up from her seat and walked towards the door knocked.

"Assalamu'alaikum" said Zahra as if reminded.

"Wa'alaikumus greetings," Raffa replied while showing off his row of teeth.

Zahra lowered her body and hugged Raffa, her beloved son while occasionally peeping at the top of the boy's head.

"Affa who's coming home? Brother or same father?" zahra asked but Raffa shook his head making Zahra's forehead wrinkle. Not yet had time to ask again, Raffa had spoken first.

"Sama Oom Farid" said Raffa with a sweet smile.

Zahra's body suddenly stiffened hearing Farid's name, ejected from Raffa's lips. How could Farid pick up Raffa from his madrassa school? did the man deliberately come to pick up and take Raffa home? I don't know, only Farid knows the answer.

"Oom Farid is now waiting at the bottom, Ummi," said Raffa.

"Eh?" Zahra was confused.

"Ummi," said Raffa.

"Yes, yes, Ummi's down."

Zahra rubbed her face to wake up.

The steps are a little heavy, going down each rung to the bottom floor. Arriving below, Zahra could see the figure of Farid sitting on the sofa with a focused view staring at the photo of his wedding with Hafiz hanging on the wall. Zahra slowly walked up to him.

"Ehm.." Zahra's dehumanization succeeded in making Farid's focus shifted.

He looked at Zahra with a smile.

"Sorry to wait a long time" said Zahra.

"It's okay."

"Emm. Wait a minute, I'll get you a drink."

Zahra was a little clumsy as this was the first time Farid had visited her house.

"No need, Ra," Farid refused.

"Have you finished packing?" farid.

Zahra was silent for a moment and then nodded.

"I'll take you and Raffa to Abi's house now, will you?"

Zahra slightly gasped at Farid's words.

"Had Maghrib, it is not good to see people receiving guests who are not mahramnya for too long."

Zahra who understood Farid's intentions nodded again.

"Wait a minute, I'll go upstairs and get the suitcase" Zahra said as she turned to leave Farid.

Zahra went back into her room. Lifting the suitcase on the bed and lowering it. He dragged the two suitcases out of his room.

"Affa?" call Zahra after closing the door to her room and walk to Raffa's room which is right in front of hers.

"Yes, Ummi."

Raffa came out of his room with a bag draped over his back.

"This is Ummi's bag."

Zahra extended her hand. I could not bear to see the little boy carrying a heavy weight on his back.

"Indeed Ummi can take it all?" ask Raffa.

Zahra just smiled in response.

After holding Raffa's bag with his left hand, Zahra slightly lowered her body to grab the handle of the suitcase with her right hand. But had not been able to reach the object, the sound of someone stopping his movement.

"Let me take it" said Farid, grabbing two of his suitcases.

Zahra could only be silent in place while looking at Farid's back, which was now coming down the stairs. His heart beat a little faster due to the sudden appearance of Farid. Zahra took a deep breath to normalize her heartbeat. Many times he stressed to himself that Farid's attitude was natural because he was his fiancee.

"Zahra?" call Farid with his head pointed slightly back.

"Yes?" Shocked Zahra.

"Astaghfirullahal'adzim," he then stepped down the stairs.

Raffa was already sitting in the front seat, next to the driver's seat when Zahra and Farid came out.

"You go in first, Ra," said Farid when he found Zahra still standing while watching Farid stuffing Zahra's suitcase into the trunk of the car.

Without answering, Zahra opened the back door of the car and sat in it, before Farid came in and sat behind the wheel. Slowly the car came out after Mr. Sapto, opened the gate of the house.

"I leave the house, sir, take good care of God later one week twice Ummi and Abi look here" said Zahra when the car was right in front of the post owned by Mr. Sapto, the home security guard.

"Injeh, Ms. Zahra. Atos." atos."

* * * * *

It took approximately thirty minutes to get to the house of Abi and Ummi. During the journey, Raffa and Farid's voice dominated in the car, while Zahra seemed to focus on her phone even though the woman looked up to see the scene in front of her. Zahra had never known since when Raffa was close to Farid, which clearly they both seemed familiar. And it is not uncommon for the two to laugh together.

This time Zahra was really astonished by Farid. Men who were once known to be quiet, firm with sharp eyes are now inversely proportional. His attitude became warm, often smiling even the sharp highlight turned soft. What love makes it like that? Or maybe Farid's old attitude was his way of keeping his marwah. At least with him being cold and keeping his limits, he wanted to keep his heart from sinking into a sense that might keep him away from Him.

Zahra remembered Farid's statement the other day.

"Have you seen it now."

From the sentence that the man uttered as if telling Zahra that Farid had long put his heart on her, perhaps before she married Hafiz. Allahu akbar..if it is true like that, is it possible that the attitude Farid showed was only to keep his holy love? Because as far as Zahra knows it is not uncommon for men who understand religion, when they start to put their taste in a girl then the attitude they show is to be cold, to be cool, not even reluctant to avoid or stay away from the girl they like and the reason is none other than to keep their heart and the girl they like, keep themselves from falling into the zina valley called courtship. They rely more on the power of the do'a. And maybe that's what Farid did, too.

If that's the case, Zahra is lucky to have been loved that way. She felt honored to be a woman because of it. Zahra was grateful of the many men who liked her, among whom there were three men who were sincere to her not only because of her physical beauty or anything worldly.

Remembering back to the figure of Andrie, a man who is willing to sacrifice anything for him. The man who was more willing to be hated than to see Zahra grieved because of the condition of himself who was on the verge of death even though in the end he had to cut a wound in Zahra's heart. But Andrie's struggle in maintaining her sacred love for Zahra certainly can not be considered trivial.

Another case with Andrie, there is a figure of Hafiz who has his own way of loving Zahra. A figure that can give peace even though not by hugging or neutralizing the words of love. He is a figure who protects and guards in a different way than men in general. The figure of Hafiz who makes Zahra feel safe and glorified like a king's daughter. Of course, the way Hafiz loves Zahra can not be separated from his love for the Owner of Love and chanting kalamullah become proof of his love letter to Zahra.

Unlike Andrie and Hafiz, Farid has a unique way of loving Zahra. When usually men will approach the girl they like by trading the word love through poetry or strands of song. Not with Farid. He would rather avoid and stay away from Zahra. He did not want to be the center of Zahra's attention. He even became an invisible and unfriendly figure. Only the do'a became his hope, only through the do'a did he keep and love Zahra.

The three men who made Zahra grateful were once loved so honorably. Only his do'a can do to repay their sacred love, wishing the three of them the happiness they deserve with all the good they have ever done.

* * * * *

"Ummi, tomorrow so will you meet dede Khalisa and dede Gibran?" tanya Raffa stopped Zahra's activities with her phone.

Zahra looked up at Raffa who had not stopped talking and joked with Farid.

"Hmmm, so," Zahra replied briefly but her net was staring at the handsome boy.

"Yeay, finally Affa can play with Dedek emes," said Raffa cheerfully.

Zahra shook her head looking at Raffa's behavior.

"Emmm.. Oom Farid come, Ummi."

Zahra was silent for a moment hearing Raffa's words. Tomorrow he and his friends plan to gather before he leaves for Jakarta. It was unthinkable for him to invite Farid or tell his friends the status of both. I don't know, Zahra felt not ready but if you think about it again, what's wrong he took Farid. His friends would be happy to hear his decision to open their hearts again because all this time they often advise on that one.

"Ummi, can you?" raffa asked once again with her cute face.

Zahra finally nodded.

"Maybe, if Oom Farid has time," Zahra said as she looked at Farid, who was focusing on driving.

"Oom Farid has time, right? Want to join Affa and Ummi?"

"What's the show, Ra?" asked Farid while looking back and smiling at Raffa.

"It's just a farewell to friends."

"guys?"

"Hmmm.. Rania and the others."

"That means I'm a man myself?"

"The husband and their children are also coming." Zahra said, but Farid remained silent and focused on his wheel.

"You know them all, so don't feel awkward" Zahra continued as if Farid was uncomfortable.

"Seriously?" Farid began to respond.

Seven years living in Egypt without ever coming home, making him not know the news of friends during his High School, even Rania friends when he was a child he did not know who married.

"Hmmm..so how can tomorrow come?"

"What time is it?"

"Four eleven, in Transmart."

"OK, tomorrow I'll pick you up and Raffa."

"Thank you."

In response to Zahra's words, Farid smiled warmly at the woman and ended up gently rubbing Raffa's head.

☘️☘️☘️

The atmosphere of the mall where Zahra and the others gathered was not too crowded considering the mall had just opened an hour ago. Zahra walked with Farid holding Raffa's hand. When you look at it, it looks like a happy family. Raffa who had been chattering cheerfully responded to the ruckus by Farid while Zahra smiled occasionally shook her head because of Raffa's adorable behavior.

Zahra took Farid and Raffa to the fourth floor, where it had been agreed to assemble. A great place for all. Parents will chat in the food court area while children play on the children's playground.

In one of the food court outlets, it appears that Zahra's friends have gathered waiting for his arrival. Raffa took off Farid's grasp and ran towards them all leaving the two.

"Umma, Mother, Amih," cried Raffa approaching them.

Rania, Prisil and Lintang smiled broadly to welcome their beloved first son. The first child who was present between their friendships, the one they cared about most Raffa was born in a different condition than the others. The painful condition experienced by Zahra, making them contribute a great affection to Raffa.

Without feeling awkward after crucifying all his parents' friends, Raffa immediately sat his body in the lap of Andrie who happened to sit next to Kemal who held his beautiful daughter.

"Affa, where's Ummi?" ask Andrie after peeping Raffa.

Others also appeared to be waiting for Raffa's answer.

"That's Ummi. same Oom Farid," pointed Raffa towards Zahra.

Everyone immediately turned their eyes to the direction Raffa pointed at. There were wrinkles on the foreheads of all of Zahra's companions as he watched Zahra walk with Farid.

"Assalamu'alaikum" said Zahra and Farid together.

They gawked for a moment before answering their greetings.

"Wa'alaikumus salam," they answered in unison with astonished faces.

"Sorry a little late" said Zahra as she greeted her best friend one by one.

Farid did the same, shaking the hands of Andrie, Kemal and Gilang.

"Ehmm. seems like there is something we have missed" said Lintang while glancing at Farid who is now sitting next to Zahra.

Zahra who understood Lintang's intent only smiled while looking down.

"No intention to share the story?" connect Prisil with a seductive smile.

Farid smiled and looked at Zahra for a moment.

"Just wish him all the best" Farid said after receiving a nod from Zahra.

"really? alhamdulillah O Allah" said Rania.

"Aamiin," said another.

"When's the plan, Ai?" andrie asked with a twinkle of happiness.

"God willing, if Allah wills after Zahra comes home from the assignment, A'."

Everyone smiled happily at the happy news. It was not that they had forgotten the figure of Hafiz, it was just that it was time for Zahra and Raffa to feel happiness. Drowning in the past makes Zahra forget what it feels like to be happy even more so after many trials that hit her, as if she does not know how to smile sincerely.

"Aa' wait for the happy news, Ai."

"Do'just, A'."

"Sure, Ai. We always pray for your good."

The conversation continued around Zahra's assignment and Farid's return from Egypt. Where Zahra will live, how the school profession and so forth. Not infrequently heard laughter from them when their discussion turned to funny things.

"Of, Affa wants to play there the same as Khalisa's dedek," whined Raffa to Andrie, amid parents who were busy talking.

"Affa same Khalis want to play there? Yes it's ayuk, Apih buy the ticket," Andrie asked as she got up from her seat.

"Gibran does not want to play with the brothers?" andrie asked the little boy who was in Gilang's lap. While the other two small creatures have run first while joining hands to the child's play area with carefree.

"Gibran likes to be fussy, Ndrie if not in waiting with his father," said Prisil.

"Yes already, Lang. Come wait for the children, pity Gibran if here, can be bored him," asked Andrie.

"Yes, Yang. Come there," Prisil ordered.

"Yes already, yuk."

Gilang got up while holding Gibran.

"I'm with Farid come along, yes time here chatting with mothers," said Kemal.

"Come, Rid," asked Kemal who was immediately answered by Farid with a nod.

The men also left the food court area to the children's play area, while the women continued their conversation.

* * * * *

Ashar prayers were performed at the Airport Mosque a few minutes ago. Now Zahra and some of the people who drove him were waiting on the waiting bench at the airport. There was still fifteen minutes before Zahra got on the plane. He also uses the time left by saying goodbye.

"Abi, Ummi, earlier Zahra apologized because all this time Zahra always troublesome Abi and Ummi. Forgive Zahra who until now has not been able to give you happiness. Zahra also begs his do'a for the smooth running of Zahra there," said Zahra with a hand held by Umm Maryam.

Ummi shook his head while cupping Zahra's cheek.

"You don't have anything wrong with us, Nduk. You're our proud daughter. Ummi and Abi are lucky to have you" Ummi said with tears beginning to drip.

"Our do'a is always at your pace. Take care of yourself, don't push yourself too much. Remember, if there's anything immediately contact your Abi and Ummi, don't carry it yourself" Abi added. Zahra nodded in her tears.

"Thank you Abi, Ummi for everything. Zahra also signed Raffa."

"Ummi and Abi love you, Nduk. Don't worry about Raffa, he'll be fine with us."

Abi assented to Ummi's words. With respect Zahra kissed the back of Abi's hand and Ummi after he hugged the body of Ummi Maryam.

After saying goodbye to her two parents-in-law. Zahra turned her gaze to someone who was now sitting in a wheelchair. He lowered his body while holding his hand.

"Sir, Ma'am must promise Zahra to always be eager to undergo all this treatment process. Trust in the power of God and trust in Zahra. Mbak must be cured as long as I can be patient and sincerely live it all. Do not despair or think that no-no, God must give way and provide convenience as long as we do not stop to strive and rely. If you love and love Hakam and Qais, then fight for them. Follow all what Mas Hakam and his team of doctors said during the treatment in Singapore. Don't make Zahra's struggle and sacrifice for Mbak go to waste. Zahra will always monitor the development of mbak while in Singapore. So Zahra please, don't let Zahra down. Zahra is dear to Ma'am," Zahra told Kayyisa, the wife of her sister-in-law who has Multiple Sclerosis, an autoimmune disease that attacks the nervous system causing movement disorders and so on.

Kayyisa smiled with tears flowing.

"Sir promises to fight. Forgive your mistakes all along. Ma'am is really sorry, you shouldn't.."

"Shhttt. Nothing is wrong, Zahra understands what Mbak feels. After all, it is God's destiny, nothing to be sorry about" Zahra cut off while putting her index finger on Kayyisa's lips. He knew where the woman was going.

"Enough Ma'am do what Zahra asks, others need not think about it. Zahra is fine and Zahra will be very happy if Mbak recovers later" Zahra continued, wiping Kayyisa's tears and peeling her forehead as a sign of affection.

"Mas, Zahra had contacted one of Zahra's doctor acquaintances there thanks to the help of Azhari. Zahra hope, Mas schedule a flight soon, the sooner the better. Later Zahra sent his contact, he was willing to help as much as possible. God willing, everything will be fine" Zahra told Hakam, who was standing next to Kayyisa.

"Thank you, Dek, you've helped a lot. God willing, Mas set the schedule as soon as possible. You are also fine in Jakarta. Do'a Mas is always with you."

Zahra nodded with a smile.

After speaking at length to his two brothers-in-law, now Zahra is faced with a male figure who is present in his life two days. Faridic. The man stood up while holding Raffa.

"Affa can't be obdurate. Don't make Kakung and Uti hassles. Affa must also be diligent in learning, keep the prayer and memorization. Ummi love Affa," said Zahra while peeping Raffa's forehead. Raffa smiled as he nodded.

"Affa also loves Ummi. Ummi be careful and often call Affa ya."

"definitely. Ummi must call Affa every day."

Zahra rubbed Raffa's cheek gently.

"You don't have to worry, I will help Abi and Ummi take care of Raffa" Farid said, prompting Zahra's netra to turn to him.

"thank you. And send my greetings and apologies to Abah and Ummah for not having time to say goodbye directly to them."

"Hmmm, I will tell you when Abah and Ummah have returned from Magelang."

"Zahra, don't make me worry too much about you. Remember, take good care of yourself. Take care of your health, do not let busyness make you forget to eat and rest."

Zahra nodded at Farid's advice.

"And call me if there's anything," Farid's message again, coinciding with the departure announcement that echoes throughout the corner of the airport. It's time for Zahra to get on a plane. He also looked at one by one the people who drove him and said greetings as his farewell.

Good by Semarang n' welcome to Jakarta..

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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