THE LOVE OF LOVE, AZZAHRA

GATHERINGS

The inner war that is still struggling in Zahra's heart seems to not want to stop. The presence of a figure who knew who it was just a moment ago, was actually able to ravage the building of his heart. A moment of despair began to re-present, diving into every cavity of his heart.

With a slightly trembling hand, he picked up the phone along with the earphones that were inside his bag. Soon he put the tiny thing on his ear. He needs energy intake in the form of calmness in his soul through what he usually does. After all installed, he set the murottal that Hafiz had recorded through a mobile phone. As usual when his soul is shaken, the Surah of Joseph is always his mainstay and thereafter will be closed with the Surah of Al Insirah.

Zahra closed her eyes and her lips moved to recite without a sound, letting her soul dissolve in the shahdu recitation recited by loved ones. It was so late that he ignored Kayla's existence who had been staring in wonder. Yes, Kayla looked at Zahra with a frown. His remarks about the order to meet the leader were ignored by Zahra. More astonished when Kayla patted Zahra's arm, the woman actually raised her hand as if giving a code to give him a moment.

"Sister," Kayla again commemorates.

Zahra looked towards Kayla with a hard to interpret look.

"Five minutes, Kay. Give me five more minutes to neutralize everything" Zahra said without removing the earphones in her ear. Kayla who heard that, could only nod.

Just after five minutes had passed, according to the time he had requested. Zahra removed the earphones from her ear and put them in a bag.

"Have Brother?" ask Kayla who is still loyal beside Zahra.

Today the situation in the ER is quite quiet. There were only three patients who entered this morning and it was handled, just waiting for the transfer file to the inpatient room.

"Already, Kay."

"Sister Zahra, what exactly is it? the feeling from earlier Kayla noticed was a bit strange."

"It's okay, Kay. Just looking for a little quiet."

"Sister Zahra is nervous about meeting the Director?" asked Kayla with her eyebrows linked.

Zahra looked at Kayla for a moment then nodded.

"Lumayan," Zahra replied briefly accompanied by a faint smile.

An answer that might cover the feeling he is now feeling. A moment of crisp laughter came out from Kayla's lips making Zahra a little embarrassed by it. Maybe Kayla thinks that she has a social phobia so it takes time for her to calm down before meeting others, but it's better than having to tell her what really happened to her.

"Yes, I went to his room, I went" Kayla said with a laugh.

"No need to be nervous, brother. Mr. Director is not fierce, benign even ha. ha. ha.. "

Kayla was still laughing amusedly, especially when grasping Zahra's palm that felt cold.

"It's okay, you're accompanying me in?"

"It's okay. Just relax, brother."

Kayla knocked on the door once and opened the door without feeling awkward, saying a greeting. Behind him, Zahra took a deep breath. Imagine what the Director said "Jinak" Kayla."

"What's up, Kay?"

Degs..

Zahra's steps came to a halt in the doorway as the voice again greeted her sense of hearing. Could he.. ? Zahra shook her head slowly, closing her eyes, afraid of her prejudice.

"It's just that the transfer doctor who has to meet with the DIRECTOR PAK," said Kayla with full emphasis on the last two words and ended with the oddity afterwards.

He immediately took a seat on the sofa while pulling out his phone before the male owner of the room even invited him, while Zahra was still glued in place without being able to step.

"When do you want to stand there?" said the man with an inseparable view of the woman who is still faithful standing in the doorway.

Zahra flinched slightly then opened her eyes and looked at the man who was making a firm but gentle voice in her ears. His body stiffened as their netra splashed against each other, locked for a while. There was a very deep longing that seemed to be from the radiance of Zahra's eyes, while the man stared in a meaningful way.

Zahra took another breath before stepping her foot. It took a tremendous amount of strength for Zahra to suppress all the feelings in her heart so that she seemed ordinary when faced with a figure capable of making her longing even more so.

Zahra stepped over to the man who was currently sitting on his great chair with a slight bow. He no longer had the strength to look at the face of the man who made his asia soar.

"Oh Allah, if there were no wounds after I had hoped for more than You. I want to drop all my assembling on him. Hoping that the man currently in front of me was the one I had longed for all this time. The person who is the source of my life and happiness.

But it seems that I have to wake up from my beautiful dream, because this time You seem to want to test how sincerely I lost it, how sincerely I accept the destiny You have set."

Zahra sat with her head still down, her glassy neutrals now centered on a rectangular object emblazoned on the table.

Kailash Habibi Arrasyid, S.E., M.M.R.

A momentary silence enveloped the room which now contained three people inside. Zahra lowered her head with both hands creeping tightly into her skirt. As hard as he could hold back his tears from melting out, as hard as he could to dampen the intense turbulent taste in his heart.

"Build your heart, O Lord. Don't let these tears flow and show how weak I am."

Kayla is busy with the world of her mobile phone, while a man named Kailash, struggling with the file in his hand while occasionally staring at Zahra with a frown.

"Doctor Azqiya?"

"Zahra," Zahra confirmed in a low voice but could still be heard.

"Oh. sorry. Well Doctor Zahra, I'm the Director of this Hospital. You can call me with Habibi" said the man.

"Ehem.. Brother Il."

Kayla glanced at him while raising one corner of her lips. While the man called "Sister Il" just looked at him with a lazy look.

"Don't bother, Kay," admonished Habibi who was greeted by a grin by Kayla.

And that's when Zahra took the opportunity to look at that handsome face for a second before she finally turned her face away while wiping away the tears that were dripping.

Habibi refocused on the person before him, ignoring Kayla who was now giggling.

"I apologize in advance for making you neglected this week. It's not what I mean, it's just that there are things I need to take care of in Germany for a week" Habibi said.

"It's okay, sir."

Habibi pulled both ends of his lips to hear the reply from the woman sitting in front of him. The faithful woman lowered her head.

"But I'm not an expert, sir. I'm still a second-year resident doctor" Zahra interjected as Habibi paused.

"But I believe you," Habibi briefed with a gaze directed at Zahra for a moment.

"Didn't the great doctor of the Azhari class also believe in you, so what's wrong if I choose you" Imbuh Habibi.

Zahra did not respond to the statement made by his leader, he just remained silent with his hands creeping together as if looking for strength. His favorite voice was so audibly stroking every corner of his auditory senses. The feeling in his heart was also rumbling violently. Once he blinked, the tears just got away.

Seven years he missed his girlfriend. Seven years he harbored deep feelings, and now suddenly God presents someone who not only looks like his face but also his voice. If only Zahra did not understand the Islamic shari'a which forbade him from coming into contact with those who were not his mahram. Zahra may have embraced him, clenched him tightly, channeling the sense that had been shackling his heart and soul. No matter if he was Hafiz or not, he obviously needed someone to dampen all the feeling that felt stifling his chest.

"I've spoken to the Head of the Department of Surgery, from tomorrow you can join them. And regarding the specialist education you take, I have also taken care of your transfer to the campus owned by the hospital so tomorrow you can check the schedule yourself."

"Thank you" Zahra replied, biting her lips so that her voice wouldn't shake too much.

Habibi took something in his desk drawer and stretched it towards Zahra or rather put it in front of Zahra.

"That's the key to the apartment you will live in, the 8th floor with no unit 286. It's not far from the hospital, it only takes ten minutes."

"Terr.."

"Doctor Zahra?" cut Habibi before Zahra finishes his sentence.

Habibi had not yet gotten back to his voice, Kayla had already stood up.

"Where are you going, Kay?" ask Habibi.

"I'm going to the bathroom, is it okay to stay? no longer hold this," said Kayla as she darted towards the bathroom in the corner of the room.

"Don't be long, Kay," Habibi recalled.

"Yes, Brother Il also do not mess with Sister Zahra," cried Kayla from inside the bathroom.

Hearing the conversation between Habibi and Kayla that seemed familiar, raised one question in Zahra's mind, what exactly is their relationship? are they a couple? Zahra again pressed her heart, thinking that it was none of her business and there was no right for her to feel jealous because of their closeness.

"Doctor Zahra?" Habibi called back Zahra.

"Yes?"

Habibi sighed and then threw it away violently. Why is it so hard to make this woman in front of him raise her head. Habibi did not want to be noticed or stared at by him because he also knew the law in Islam, just that the way this woman looked down was unusual, like there was something he was holding.

From the beginning he spoke, Zahra just lowered her head. Don't stare and even raise his head. Curiosity was now felt Habibi on the woman he first met was crying sobbing. No, not the first time but the second time. The woman who accidentally hit him at the airport as he was about to leave for Germany. The woman who owned the prayer beads that made her heart ache when she heard her painful sobs.

"I'm sorry" Habibi said successfully made Zahra look up instantly.

"For?" zahra asked with a face that did not understand.

"It seems like something's wrong with me so you'd rather keep putting your head down."

"We're not ma.."

"Mahram?" Habibi cut out Zahra's words.

"I know the law, but it's also not justified that you behave like that to your superiors. At least lift your head a little. We don't have to look at each other but we have to respect each other. Besides we're talking about work, nothing else."

Zahra gasped with Habibi's words. Yes, the man was right just his heart seemed unable to hold it. Too weak he was faced with a figure that was so draining of his emotions.

"Sorry" said Zahra.

His tears that he had previously held even the water escaped just like that.

Habibi was stunned, his eyes were round when he saw the tears melting with a rush. He unconsciously extended his handkerchief towards Zahra. Zahra froze instantly with tears growing more and more.

"Stop crying, I don't like to see it. Didn't I tell you not to cry in front of other people. Your tears are really making me suffer" Habibi said, turning his face the other way.

"Take and remove your tears. Don't let Kayla see it, can be angry he is the same me, thought I did something bad to you," Habibi said again in a softer voice than before.

Zahra nodded softly as she extended her slightly trembling hand to grab the handkerchief outstretched towards her.

"Cry because we remember our sins for nothing else. Expand the remembrance, by remembering Him the heart will feel calmer."

Habibi closes his last sentence because it coincides with Kayla coming out of the bathroom.

"Not finished yet?" kayla asked without feeling suspicious.

"Already" replied Zahra and Habibi together.

The two stared at each other for a moment and then disconnected.

"Yes, come back down, sister" Kayla asked Zahra as she stepped towards the door.

"Sister Il, I'm back in the ER. Assalamu'alaikum," said Kayla to Habibi.

Zahra stood up and slightly bowed to Habibi.

"Thank you, sir. I say goodbye first. Assalamu'alaikum."

"Wa'alaikumus greetings."

Habibi smiled after Zahra stepped out following Kayla first.

"Why should you always cry when you're in front of me? do you not know that your smile defeats the beauty of the angel" Habibi murmured.

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