THE LOVE OF LOVE, AZZAHRA

HARD CHOICE

Zahra looked straight ahead with a blank look. Everything that happens in life is sometimes not in line with wishful thinking. Same with his life now. His doubts and worries were unable to get him to choose according to his wishes. He seemed to be forced by a fate that did not know where to take him. Trying to sincerely accept was in fact getting heavier when the face of a loved one is getting closer to filling his brain.

There are no tears that can come out because maybe he is tired or even the clear liquid may have been exhausted because he often shed it. Heavy breathing was many times he hela and he exhaled to just pull out the chunks that had been pressing his soul to make it tight.

The shadow of two men filled his brain at this moment. One man who somehow made his love seem to come back to life and another man who tried to knock his heart hard with the patience, struggle and loyalty he had just realized after a long time. Habibi and Farid.

Zahra looked up at the night sky that looked black without light. There is hope and wishful thinking that he wants to leave to the Owner of Life so that his life path is a little easier. He felt the burden in his mind was piling up after the big decision he was forced to take.

FLASH BACK ON

A few hours ago...

"Wouldn't it be considered again, Nduk? should you wait months for Farid and you to get married?" said Ummah as they were all gathered in the living room of Zahra's apartment.

Zahra slightly gasped at the words of her future father-in-law.

"It could be Slander, Nduk. See, one month you spent close-up with no sacred bond." Ummi added.

Zahra was silent and half-down listening to the parents talking to her.

"Ummah," called Abah as if to rebuke subtly because the sentence thrown by the wife seemed to suppress the prospective daughter-in-law.

"Sorry, Farid's wrong here. Had Farid allowed Zahra to tell you all about the accident, Farid might not have much trouble for Zahra" said Farid, who was already uncomfortable with seeing the heart-loving's sad look.

Of the four elders in front of Zahra only Abi Ridwan who had been silent had not responded. His shady eyes looked at the pity of the daughter-in-law. He knew very well the position as well as the turmoil of Zahra's heart at this time.

"Yes that's not what Ummah means, Rid. Ummah.. "

"Ummah, don't make Zahra make a decision because she has to. Appreciate his decision don't pressure him."

Abah again made a sound stopping the sentence that came out of Ummah's lips.

"yeah.. Ummah just wants to see our son get married before the opportunity is no longer there for Ummah" said Ummah with a sad face.

"Russia, Ummah. Death is only God knows do not predict itself, it is not good Ummah" said Abah.

"Yes, Mommy. Istighfar.it is not good to talk like that. In Shay'a Allah, the sampeyan is still healthy and can still watch them get married later" Ummah said as she rubbed the back of Ummah Halimah's hand.

It was seen Farid rubbing his face slowly after seeing the pleasure on the face of the wingless angel, while Zahra deeper bowed her head and both hands crept together strongly. He tried to control his heart so as not to fall further in his helplessness.

"Ummah tries to think positively, but you all know the pain of this Ummah no one knows when will lead Ummah to death. The operation that Ummah will undergo was no one who can guarantee its success. So, is it wrong Ummah if Ummah wants to see Ummah's son get married first before the death to pick Ummah?"

Ummah's tears began to slide slowly accompanied by a voice and the body trembled slightly. Gently Ummi was holding Ummah's body trying to calm down.

Everyone knows if the condition of Ummah Halimah is indeed in a state of bad especially because of the Coronary Heart he suffered which sometimes makes him have a heart attack. And according to the doctor's reference that Ummah should immediately undergo heart ring installation surgery.

"Ummah don't say that, Farid please. Farid still needs Ummah on Farid's side, Ummah must be healthy until Farid gets married."

Farid began to lower his body in front of Ummah while hugging the knee of the first woman he loved with tears flowing.

Zahra's heart was stunned to see everything. His move was now completely stifled and getting heavier after a glimmer of hope had stopped a few hours ago but now it seems like the feeling was back crashing.

"Sir," called Abi after a long time of not responding to the conversation.

Zahra raised her head to look at Abi with a face and eyes that could not be described anymore, how hurt her heart was now faced with a very heavy choice for her.

Abi carved a smile on her lips while nodding slowly at Zahra as if giving her strength and confidence that the decision to marry Farid was the best.

Zahra let out a long sigh and then exhaled slowly, before she spoke to make a decision.

"Give Zahra one month, Ummah. In two weeks, Zahra will have to take the exam for one week. If all is done, Zahra will be allowed to go home and marry Farid."

Hearing Zahra's words now everyone turned to look at Zahra with a look of disbelief.

"Ra, yes.. "

"Zahra please, Ummah take care of Ummah's health until that day comes."

Zahra spoke again, ignoring Farid who was about to protest. Let alone Farid even the wound in his heart he ignored. For him after the death of his father and mother, taking care of the hearts of other parents is the main heart of Ummi and Abinya. Zahra won't let the heart hurt them even though it's her who's hurt more.

"Of course Ummah will maintain the health of Ummah, Nduk. Especially to be able to watch you and Farid get married. Thank you, Nduk," said Ummah with a happy tone of voice.

Zahra carved a smile on her lips to hide her heartache because of the decision she was forced to make for the happiness of all of them.

FLASH BACK OFF

God, help me take off this stuff. Lighten the burden that fills my heart and mind. Help me to accept Your destiny. If Farid is my soul mate, then make him my best mate until the end of my life. Turn this heart around so I can love her as much as I loved my previous husband. And help me to take it off, take my wish off the man.

Zahra closed her eyes for a moment trying to bury all the hopes and hopes that had been still lingering in her heart and mind. And try to accept his destiny with Farid with a big heart.

"Stop hurting yourself, Ra," said Farid suddenly.

Zahra opened her eyes and turned her head towards Farid. Although the look of his eyes seemed sad but the tip of his lips formed a sweet arch that he presented to Farid.

"I don't want to force you to marry me right away. I can wait for you until you're ready, Ra."

"What if I'm never ready to get married again? Farid, I'm sorry.I don't want to hurt your heart. I just want to be honest with you so that there is no more burden in my heart that makes my steps even harder to accept this fate, at least with me honestly there is nothing more I need to hold in front of you. There are no more wounds I hide from you. That way you know how to treat me, act as an antidote to my wounds, be a cure to my longing for Hafiz."

"Zahra, man,"

"Until this moment, he's still enthroned here. He. "the sentence Zahra paused, the tears that had been felt had run out now just seemed to reappear with a rush.

"He'll never get out of here. He's taken all my love and longing all along. Farid, if I don't force myself then there will never be a time when I'm ready to accept this fate. By forcing myself, there will be a great deal of effort to accept you and put you on a par with Hafiz in my heart. I know, this might be selfish and end up hurting your heart because I have to share your heart with Hafiz, but this is what I can do. I can't take Hafiz off my heart or my life, he's my son's father."

Farid was stunned to hear Zahra's confession. It was as difficult as he was to replace Hafiz in Zahra's heart and life. It was as difficult as it was that he took all of Zahra's attention and life, with the sincerity of her love. So there is no sign of his struggle and sacrifice so far to be able to melt the heart of the woman who has the status of his future wife. Then until when will he be hurt and always left out. Should he be sincere if the household he later lived with Zahra would only sow wounds on the hearts of both? Although Farid did not expect Zahra to love her as much as she loved Hafiz, it still hurt to hear her confession from her lips.

God, help me turn this woman's heart around. Help me grow the love in her heart for me. And help me replace all his pain with the happiness of living with me.

🍁🍁🍁🍁

It was already very late afternoon when Zahra sat on the terrace of the hospital mosque which looked deserted and there was no one there. Zahra stared at the twilight sky that began to greet her world with an adorable face. He is really tired actually if you have to stay in the hospital with work that is still piling up. Not to mention, his heart and mind that were currently in an unhealthy state, certainly made him tired many times over.

"You sick?" habibi asked when he saw my face Zahra.

He sat himself beside Zahra, leaving a distance of one metre between them..

Zahra looked at Habibi at a glance and then shook his head weakly.

"Is there something weighing on you, hem?"

Zahra let out a short breath and threw it away.

"I'm tired."

"Then rest."

He leaned his body on the support pole of the building with his eyes closed.

"You complain because the destiny God wrote for you doesn't match your wishes, huh? Istighfar, do not be a person who is kufr delights," advice Habibi with a distinctive voice soft but sound firm.

"Many favors of God that you do not see. You just focus on the one thing you really want but ignore the favors you need most" added Habibi who still hasn't been responded to by Zahra.

"Zahra, man,"

"It doesn't mean to complain about destiny. I just feel like fate is playing tricks on me, testing me endlessly in various ways so that I don't have the power to get up anymore" Zahra said in the same position.

Habibi pulled both ends of his lips up. At least, what happened yesterday did not make their relationship tenuous and awkward.

"I'm sure you can go through all His trials with a big heart. I believe you are a strong and tough woman" Habibi said with a raised hand rubbing Zahra's head.

Zahra opened her eyes for a moment as she felt a gentle swipe in her head. He blinked for a moment and looked at Habibi. Habibi smiled at Zahra's adorable behavior.

"If you need someone for you for all your grievances. You need someone to listen to your stories. There is me here, who is ready to take all your burdens" Habibi said gently and with a warm gaze.

Zahra looked at Habibi so closely that the man turned his face away while smacking a smile.

"Why are you looking at me like that, Zah. I can also be ashamed," Habibi murmured softly but could still be heard by Zahra.

"Astaghfirullahal'adzim," said Zahra, who turned his face.

"Dad" call Habibi

"Hmmm... "

"Zahras.. "

"Yes,"

"Doctor Azqiya Hayfa Azzahra,"

"Yes, Mr. Habibi."

Zahra growled a little because the man kept calling her while Habibi just chuckled softly to see the annoyance on Zahra's face. Zahra glanced and slightly squinted her eyes at Habibi.

"Is that how you called and acted to me first?" habibi asked, which Zahra answered with wide eyes.

"You-you mean?"

"Are you sure that I'm not him? the man you love."

Zahra was slightly jolted by Habibi's words. He took a deep breath with his eyes closed.

"Aye?"

"How can I not be sure if you are him. Not only is your face, physique and voice the same, even the way you call me and all the sentences that come out of your lips are his," Zahra said softly but still heard by Habibi.

The silent turn of Habibi examined the sentence that came out of the woman beside him.

"But I don't want fate to play me back, which makes me even more hurt if in reality our destiny is not together" Zahra continued, recalling her decision to marry Farid, one month away.

"I'll get married next month" he added with his head lowered.

Habibi was surprised by that sentence. Instantly he turned his head and stared fixedly at his beloved woman.

"If you're hurt by that decision, why are you silent? can't you refuse?"

Habibi does not believe in Zahra's decision which hurt him even more.

"I have no choice but to accept."

"Why?" habibi's question sounded a little higher making Zahra turn towards him.

"Why do you have to do something that hurts your heart?"

Zahra.

"Give me time to prove that I'm your husband who left seven years ago. Zahras.. "

"What if in the end you are still you, Kailash Habibi not Hafiz, Habibiku?" cut Zahra off with a little emotion.

"Should my hope fall back if we can't be together in the end. Enough of my heart to believe that, not with hope anymore" Zahra added.

"Who I really am, I don't think it matters anymore. Clearly, I am the one who can carve happiness in your life. Zahra, I know it's illegal for a man to propose to a woman on another man's proposal. But can't you just marry me?" hatch Habibi with both hands now on Zahra's shoulders.

"I told you I can't resist the decision to marry Farid."

"Why?"

"Don't you know, a lot of hearts are at stake here. Our relationship will only hurt them."

Zahra recalled how Ummah's hopeful look seemed to be begging her to marry her son soon.

"Exposure,"

"I didn't want my heart to hurt them. And have you not promised to take care of Meysha. His heart will be hurt if you break your promise to his father."

Habibi's breath seemed stung to hear the words of Zahra who offended his promise to keep Meysha. The woman had even told Habibi her heart, if Meysha loved her. Habibi looked frustrated, the grip on Zahra's shoulder was slowly released. He also rubbed his face rough.

"Is it so hard to be with you, Zah?" habibi sounded desperate.

"It won't be difficult if God allows it. But.. "

Habibi looked back at Zahra, there was a handful of hope that he wanted to conquer right now.

"Let's fight together to overthrow the Determinant of the soul mate," Habibi's breakup is heard pleading.

Zahra smiled bitterly towards Habibi.

"May there be an opportunity where God unites us under the auspices of His love" Habibi added.

"Amelina. May the angel bear witness before the Determiner that you have asked me of Him," said Zahra almost inaudibly with teary eyes.

The same sentence, which Hafiz and Zahra had revealed when they first met in the court of MAJT (Mosque Agung Central Java), was revealed, a place that bears witness to the growth of love among them with the Qur'an as its bind.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Huff... Finally finished this part. Alhamdulillahot..

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