THE LOVE OF LOVE, AZZAHRA

CUTS

My love for you is not like rain

Just come and go without a trace

My love for you is like the air that blows

Although his presence was not seen but felt

My love for you is like a lung that keeps pumping oxygen

Never stop for a moment

Because your love is the breath that gives me life

🍁🍁🍁

FLASH BACK ON

Slowly Zahra opened her eyes. He circulated his gaze to all corners of the room dominated by white on the wall. Pain in his left hand because of the infusion tube stuck there. Hospitals. Yes, he is now in the hospital.

There was no one when Zahra opened her eyes because the room seemed quiet. Zahra still did not realize what caused her to lie in a sick bed until she repeatedly called her husband's name but nil, there was no one to say for her call.

Chequek..

There was a door knob turned and someone appeared to enter the room. Zahra was ready to smile, she thought it was her husband but it turned out that a nurse who entered her room made Zahra's smile fade a little.

"Alhamdulillah, finally Sister Zahra siuman." said the nurse who tagged. Nina Aprilia's. The woman in the white uniform did not forget to smile.

"Where are you, how does anything feel?" Zahra shook her head to answer Nina's question, the nurse.

The hope was so great that her husband was the first one she saw but in fact she had to swallow that hope.

"Sus. Ehm.. The nurse knows where my husband or my family might be? Why is there no one here" asked Zahra.

The nurse smiled again, as if understanding Zahra's intentions.

"Mas Andrie? it seems to be going to Mushola, had met in the hallway to get there," replied Sister Nina making Zahra's forehead wrinkled deeply.

"No, Sus," said Zahra, shaking her head.

"My husband's name is Hafiz" Zahra continued. Sister Nina was silent for a moment neutralizing her shock.

"I'm sorry if I was wrong. But as far as I know only Mas Andrie who faithfully waited for Mbak Zahra while here. If the other family, just go back and forth alternately," explained Sister Nina after checking her blood pressure.

"How long have I been here, Sus?"

"Mbak Zahra doesn't seem to have realized it. Zahra has been here for three days and is unconscious" Sister Nina said, leaving Zahra stunned.

That long? Then why is Andrie waiting for him all this time, why not Hafiz? Zahra was confused by it. He tried to turn his brain to remember what happened before until suddenly something happened that made him fixate.

"Habibi" said Zahra with a view that is now beginning to blur.

Zahra's heart stopped beating. Her tears slowly rolled down her cheeks as the memory of what happened three days ago returned to her brain. His chest felt increasingly tight at this time so unconsciously his lips trembled calling a beloved name for his beloved.

"Habibi. hik. Yeah, this must be a dream. There's no way you're going to leave Zahra. This must be wrong. hik. hik.." raceau Zahra who began to sob great to make Sister Nina confused.

Just as Hakam and Kayyisa entered, both of them immediately gasped to see Zahra sobbing. Kayyisa immediately ran over to Zahra while hugging her.

"Mr.. Hafiz where?" zahra asked in a stifled voice. The crying has broken.

There was no response from Kayyisa or Hakam. Kayyisa actually hugged Zahra's body more tightly.

"Where's hafiz, Ma'am?" Zahra shrieked slightly with tears constantly flooding her face.

"Istighfar, Dek. istighfar," said Kayyisa softly as she rubbed Zahra's back.

"Hafiz mana hik.. Zahra wants to see Hafiz.. Zahra wants Hafiz, Ma'am, there's no way Hafiz could have killed Zahra. There's no way Ma'am, Hafiz can't have left Zahra."

"Dek, Istighfar.remember Allah, Deck," quieted Kayyisa with a soft voice.

Beside him, Hakam can only turn his face that is no less sad. There was a drop of water that also fell from his eye sash.

"Bie.. Habibi.. lied, you said you'd come back. Don't stay in Zahra, Bi.. Habibis.. Zahra.. " Isakan Zahra sounds painful.

"Mbak. said that this is not true.hik.. Zahra please. said it was just a dream.. Maud.. Zahra please.."

"Istighfar, Dek. explain everything. Don't make the steps heavy. She must be sad to see you like this. sincerely, Dek. This is his destiny" Hakam said in a heavy voice as if holding something back.

Zahra shook her head, she couldn't possibly be that easy to say something so heavy to her. Her husband, her lover, everything for Zahra. It is not that easy Zahra sincerely let go of Hafiz.

"Why should it be so fast? hiccups.. Zahra can't live without it.hik.. Zahra won't be able to, Ma'am."

Hakam and Kayyisa are only able to rub Zahra's back to calm down and strengthen. The woman was devastated by the news of her husband's departure. Never once did he think Hafiz would go this way. Leaving him suddenly.

Mournfully..

Hakam and Kayyisa also shed tears. Both of them were also very sad to lose the figure of Hafiz, but they tried to suppress the feeling. If the two are too late, what about Zahra and Ummi? they need people who can sustain and strengthen their broken hearts, especially Zahra. He needs the support of everyone. He won't be able to pass such a tough test in his life. Her love is too big for her husband, making her world collapse instantly when Hafiz is claimed to have died in a great accident in Surabaya. Accidents that claimed many lives include Hafiz.

One week ago, Hafiz said he would travel to Surabaya on a two-week business trip. There was a meeting with a client with regards to a major project that his father-in-law's company handled. And as he went, Hafiz asked Zahra to stay at the house of Ummi and Abinya. The man never had the heart to leave the wife at home even though in the fund there is Bi Inah and Mang Ujang especially lately Zahra often sick. Until three days ago, Zahra and her family were shocked by the painful news that Hafiz had been involved in a terrible accident that left her dead.

The news of Hafiz's death, Zahra received three days ago and it reminded him that today Hafiz's body will arrive at his parents' house. Zahra took off her embrace from Kayyisa, then forcefully pulled out the infusion hose that stuck in her left hand made the couple aghast. Zahra got up from her seat without noticing her chaotic appearance.

"Dec? " call Kayyisa.

"Zahra wants to go home, Ma'am. Zahra wants to see Hafiz, Zahra wants to make sure it's not Hafiz" Zahra said as she stepped towards the door. Hakam immediately restrained his arm.

"But, Deck, you still have to be here. Your condition is not yet possible to go home" prevent Hakam.

"Certainly? Zahra had to miss Zahra's last meeting with Hafiz" Zahra said in a half-emotional tone.

"That's not what I mean, Mom. "

"Bag,"

Kayyisa rubbed Hakam's arm while nodding.

"He deserves to see it" Kayyisa continued making Hakam sigh.

"alright. But please, try to control yourself" Hakam said.

🥀🥀🥀

The Hakam-controlled car finally arrived in the complex area of Ummi and Abi's house. Already many mourners who came filled the yard of the house of both parents Hafiz so that the car must be parked a few meters not far from the house. The three of them got out of the car. Zahra's body was seen trembling at the home of her in-laws crowded with mourners. Kayyisa flanked Zahra's left arm while Hakam walked to Zahra's right, just in case the sister-in-law's body collapsed again. And for Andrie, before going home Hakam had sent a message first to the guard nurse.

All three have entered the page that has been filled with mourners. All eyes looked pity at the three especially Zahra. The woman they knew had only five months to be called Hafiz. The mourners were so concerned about her fate that only five months of marriage had been left dead by her husband. She was only eighteen years old but was already a widow. It was very sad for her destiny, they thought.

Zahra's tears were shed when she entered the house. Umminya was crying in the arms of Ummah Halimah, Farid's mother, and her Abi was sitting with her head lowered. It was obvious that their sadness was deep too. Just look at Umm Maryam. When he saw Zahra entering, Ummi could not resist sobs. He was unable to get up to give a hug to his beloved son-in-law.

Zahra bit her deep lips to witness the pain of Ummi in-laws whom she had considered her own mother. Zahra tried to wipe away her tears even though the clear liquid would not stop coming out. He did not want Ummi and his Abi to be saddened by his fragility. Right, Hakam said, he must control himself. He must be strong for the sake of loved ones even though for now his heart must be broken into pieces, his world must collapse without remaining, his light must be dim because there is no more sun on his side.

Aunt Sinta brought Zahra into her arms. He knew that Zahra's heart must have been broken to accept this painful fact, even though she tried to look strong in front of people. He gently stroked Zahra's back, channeling strength even without a word coming out of her lips to calm her down.

The sound of an ambulances lurking and the sound getting clearer every second leads to a house that looks filled with tens or even hundreds of mourners. It can be ascertained, the corpse in it is a figure that was awaited earlier. Aunt Sinta tightened her arms and drowned Zahra's head in her chest.

There was something that hit the heart of the beautiful woman when the sound of the ambulance stopped ringing and changed the voices of several men who were heard asking to be opened by the road. Zahra squeezed her robe tightly. His hands seemed to tremble, cold sweat began to flood his body. And her tears are getting harder to control.

Some people lower and carry the body of a man who is now stretched stiff.

"Honey, come inside," asked Aunt Sinta to pull Zahra's body and take her to the room but was immediately detained by the woman.

"Let Zahra see Hafiz. Let Zahra see her one last time" said Zahra, holding tightness in her heart.

Abi and Hakam first opened the face cover of the corpse and both seemed to turn their faces shortly after opening the cover cloth. There were deep cuts visible from their faces. Before long Ummi rose up with a trembling body led Ummah Halimah closer to the body that had been stretched stiff. Ummi's crying increasingly broke to see the reality behind the casket.

Slowly Zahra stepped closer to the body claimed to be her husband. With trembling hands, Zahra opened the cloth that covered the body. She closed her eyes while shaking her head, tears flooding back into her beautiful face.

Although his heart was strong to reject the lifeless figure, but his logic could not deny. The figure was wearing a shirt that Zahra clearly knew belonged to her husband. Zahra clasped the hand tightly as if she needed a grip to strengthen it. His hands slowly moved to embrace the corpse's body. He hugged her tightly and drowned her face on the side of the body of the corpse believed to be Hafiz. Feelings of doubt and refusal were again present in his heart. She did not want to believe that the man she was holding was her husband, but what could she say if all the facts were now in her presence.

"Ra, already. Come inside, the body will be purified first," said Aunt Sinta softly as she rubbed Zahra's arm.

"Just a second, Tan. Let Zahra hug her like this one last time."

Zahra refused to let go of her embrace on the body.

My habitat..

Zahra loves you very much. Though death now separates us, this love will always be in Zahra's heart. This love and heart is all yours.

Remember, Bi. Zahra will always love you until the end.

Let this love dwell forever in Zahra's heart, though the pain of your loss continues to torment.

Thank you for the wonderful memories you have carved in Zahra's life.

Thank you for loving Zahra with all your heart. Zahra will never forget that.

Habibis..

Wait for Zahra there.

Let Zahra fend for herself here, guarding the heart and love that is only yours.

Let Zahra fight to establish himself so that God will place Zahra by your side..

*And let Zahra fend for herself to take care of the care and care for the deposit that God has planted in Zahra's womb today.

Congratulations, Bi because you will be a father to the son that Zahra is now born*..

Ana Uhibbuka, Yes Habibi..

Zahra sobbed beside her husband's body while hugging him tightly. Many pairs of eyes that look on pity and come to shed tears when they see how devastated this beautiful woman is.

Zahra looked up as Aunt Sinta again patted Zahra on the shoulder and reminded her. Zahra nodded weakly as she got up but had not had time for her body to stand upright, she had already fallen with her eyes closed.

FLASH BACK OFF..

Zahra's gaze was still faithful to the thing that was now coiled on her ring finger. The look felt empty and empty. The piece of memory that had slashed his heart came back to his mind. In the early years of losing Hafiz, she still hoped that the man would one day return to her because however her heart did not believe that the figure who had left was her husband. A figure that he cannot recognize even though what he wears belongs to the husband. Time gave him another answer. Seven years have passed, if the body is not Hafiz why did the man not appear until now.

Zahra exhaled heavily, there was a slight feeling of guilt in her heart for having accepted Farid's proposal in this state of heart. Can he live with that man when his heart has settled on one man? How could he accept the figure of Farid in his heart when his whole heart and life had been taken away? Let alone loving him to accept it was hard, but he had already promised so inevitably he had to try hard to tame his heart for Farid, his second future priest.

"Ommy?"

Zahra gasped at the sound of her little prince calling out. He turned to the direction where Raffa, his beloved son stood while wiping away tears that had not come out since. Zahra got up from her seat and lowered her body in alignment with Raffa's height.

"Why are you awake?" zahra asked as she rubbed the handsome boy's head.

"Affa's thirsty, Ummi."

"You want Ummi to make milk?" Raffa.

"White water Ummi, just before bed Mother has made Affa and Kak Qais milk,"

Zahra nodded and lifted the tiny body, carrying it to the kitchen.

After finishing giving Raffa a drink, Zahra again carried Raffa to his room while carrying a bottle of water to keep watch if Raffa woke up thirsty again.

His steps came to a halt just as the door of the room opened, the surah Ar Rahman greeted him warmly. The beautiful and distinctive voice of the husband sounded so thrilling his soul. He took a deep breath as he stepped into the room.

Zahra misses you, Habibi..

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤