THE LOVE OF LOVE, AZZAHRA

COMPASSION

With a slow motion Habibi took the phone that was in Zahra's grasp with his right hand. There is something encouraging to know what the content of the tape is. Before tapping the rotary mark on the screen, Habibi first shrinks the volume so that it is not heard by Zahra. He stuck the tip of the phone to his ear after tapping on the swivel sign.

The blood flow in Habibi's body seemed to stop right when a voice greeted his sense of hearing. His body was petrified for a moment and his breathing began to get stuck in the throat. Who her?

"Honey, thank you for being the greatest favor in Habib's life. Loving and accompanying Habib tirelessly. Without you, Habib's life is meaningless. Uhibbuki Fileh, Yes Zaujati Alhabiba."

Unknowingly Habibi's tears flowed after hearing the opening sentence before Ar Rahman's surah melodious. He slightly moved his head while staring bitterly at the figure who was still sleeping beside him. Habibi realized that the voice seemed to sound like his even the way the man recited verse by verse was exactly the same as himself, not the slightest bit different.

Habibi's curious soul is becoming increasingly so. He also came out of the recorder icon and switched to an icon that might be able to answer all his questions so far. Album or Gallery. Before opening it, Habibi took a deep breath. His heart was pounding a little, there was a feeling of fear if what he saw later further crushed his heart.

There were several folders inside, but one folder with the name "With You" caught Habibi's attention. Without taking time, he opened it. Rows of photos with countless numbers that are clearly displayed decorate the entire screen of the phone. In an instant the look on Habibi's face changed, his body petrified again and even now slightly shook. The eyes again probed one by one the images on the phone screen. Starting from the appearance of two lovers who still use gray white uniforms to wedding photos. Habibi's fingers were raised to knock one of them until a clear picture of the two lovebirds.

The same photo, which Zahra had previously seen. The photo shows Hafiz hugging and kissing Zahra's temple with both hands holding two books that are none other than a marriage book. Habibi swallowed his saliva with great difficulty. His finger unconsciously scrolled the phone screen until the image changed.

Habibi closed his eyes for a moment while regulating the roar of the heart that had previously sped incoherently. While calming his mind that began to fall apart after seeing a photo of the man on the screen of Zahra's cellphone. That face was really very similar to her just that it was a young version of her. Habibi slightly pressed his chest that felt so stifling with his tears back dripping.

"Who made you cry when I was in front of you? Zahra, I'm sorry for making you shed tears. I'm sorry, because our meeting actually hurt you," Habibi muttered softly as she wiped her tears quickly.

Habibi turned his head until his lips stuck right at the top of Zahra's head which was leaning on his shoulder.

"If my absence near you calms your heart, I will do it even if it hurts me. I will never show myself in front of you again so that the tears do not come back," Habibi said pausing his sentence for a moment, he kissed the head with a feeling that was so heartbreaking.

How can he let the woman he loves suffer to see the physical and voice similarities of his own with his female lover. A man who is labeled a husband for his beloved woman.

Habibi took a long breath. A lot of things are now in his head, including the questions that are currently filling his brain. Like there are scattered puzzle pieces that he needs to assemble to know something that might help him find the answer to everything.

"I'm sorry. After this, maybe I won't show myself in front of you again before it's all clear to me. Zahra.I love you."

Habibi held his breath as he slowly confirmed Zahra's position as before. He looked at the woman with a bitter smile and raised his hand to gently rub his head.

"Give me time to figure it all out and assemble the puzzle pieces myself. It may take a little while, but please stick with your position as it is today. Don't accept anyone's love before I come back to bring clarity to us."

Habibi got up from his seat, Before he stepped away from Zahra, he took off the suit he was wearing and slipped it into Zahra's body half-kneeling in front of the woman.

"I really love you, Zahra. I must be back, so wait for me" Habibi said.

After saying that, Habibi turned around and stepped away from Zahra himself.

Thirty minutes passed after Habibi's departure, Zahra opened her eyes. The tip of his lips was pulled up after a beautiful dream that made him sleep soundly even in a position that was actually uncomfortable for anyone. Zahra remembered her dream.

"I really love you, Zahra. I must be back, so wait for me."

The shadow of Hafiz who was saying that was now spinning in his head.

"If by waiting you can bring you back to Zahra. Zahra will do it with pleasure."

The happy sparkle that had appeared had now turned heartily.

"But are you really going to come back, Bi?, it's been seven years Zahra's waiting for you. Until when Zahra would have to wait again and put hope in something that Zahra herself could not believe in,"

That sad look is now foggy. His hands were tight together until he realized something. He lowered his head, looking at the body that was now covered in a black suit belonging to someone. He also clutched tightly to the suit for a moment and rose and ran in no direction. His mind was fixed on the figure of the owner of the black suit who a while ago was beside him.

"Zahra loves you too, Bi. Very. very much love you," said Zahra while holding tightly to Habibi's coat, smell the distinctive aroma of his son first.

"Zahra misses you so much, Habibi." Zahra again voiced out softly, her tears had flooded her beautiful face and even wet the coat that she repeatedly kissed to channel all the flavors that were now in her heart.

Out there the sky lowered its waters so profusely as if it were lamenting the sorrow of a servant.

* * * * *

Zahra looked far ahead. His face looked pretty lately right after that night. The night where he seemed to dream about Hafiz, but in fact Habibi was the one who came that night. Zahra did not know what to believe at the moment. Do not want to expect more that Habibi is Hafiz but in fact all the things that exist in Habibi really looks like Habibinya. And if he believes that Habibi is Hafiz, he also does not know where to begin to find out about the truth of the man. It was very interesting that he asked Kayla about her actual relationship with Habibi, but he feels bad for the girl especially at this time Kayla's emotions are out of control when discussing something related to Habibi and Meysha.

"Not sleeping, Ai?"

Zahra turned her head towards someone who was now sitting next to her. Andrie. Three days ago, Lintang gave birth to her first child. Zahra and her companions took their time to come and stay three days in Bandung, at Andrie's house to be exact.

Zahra smiled at Andrie while shaking her head slowly.

"The kids are already on A' sleep'?"

"It has. Raffa sleeps with Farid, in the room with Gilang and Kemal as well.

"Dad,"

"What?"

"Your job in Jakarta is harder huh, Ai? Aa' notice you're a bit thin right now. Your face also looks dirty. Remember Ai, as busy as ever do not forget to pay attention to your health. You are a doctor, of course, better know how to maintain a healthy body and mind. It's not funny, if a doctor actually becomes a patient," Andrie said accompanied by a ruckus at the end of his sentence.

"Doctors are also human, A'" Zahra said.

"Yes, but as a doctor, you should pay more attention to your health than anyone else. If you are sick, who will take care of you? family is far away in Semarang. You also live alone in an apartment. There will be everyone worried about you" advised Andrie who was concerned to see the condition of Zahra.

Zahra only glanced briefly at Andrie then refocused forward with her blank look.

"Dad,"

"Hmmm.. "

"Yes,"

"What, A'?"

"Why not just marry Farid? why wait another year?. Is not with Farid, you are someone who takes care and takes care of. After all, Farid and his family would also not mind if he had to work in Jakarta to accompany you."

Zahra turned her head towards Andrie, looking at her with a sad look.

"Zahra's not ready, A'."

"You'll never be ready at all times if you're not determined to do it yourself" Andrie breathed in air for a moment as she paused.

"It is not easy to accept a new person in our hearts when the heart already has an owner. But it's not easy, it doesn't mean you can't. Only time and togetherness will answer. Just as Aa' had experienced before. The moment where Aa' loves you. Back then there was nothing Aa' believed in other than Aa's love for you. Even Aa' had thought of bringing that love to death if God had not given Aa's chance to be with you. But the truth is now, Aa' was lucky to have been heartbroken. Because then Aa' will appreciate the struggle of someone to be with us. The struggle we used to do for the people we love.

Aiya, Aa' admit that the presence of Hafiz can not be forgotten, but it does not mean we become blind so as not to see someone is struggling to give happiness to us. Fighting alone is hard and painful, Ai. Especially when the people we fight for do not have the desire for us to be happy.

Aa' doesn't want your eyes closed and to be hard because of your love that never wavers on Hafiz. Aa' doesn't want you getting any further away from happiness. Aa' love you, Ai. And Aa' is sure Hafiz doesn't want any of this.

You know, Ai, Hafiz once said that "Your smile and laughter is happiness for him, which he waits for all his time. Your happiness is the goal of her life, and your crying is the most painful thing in her life". Now Aa' asks you, since Hafiz's departure, how many times have you cried? Have you ever smiled and laughed as happily as when Hafiz was still around? Just think about now more of what you've done over the past seven years, because then you'll know that much Hafiz feels there too."

Zahra's heart seemed stunned, his heart was squeezed firmly by an invisible object. Like there was blood flowing from an incision in his wound. He also sobbed great to feel the pain that so hit his mind.

"Aiya. "call Andrie.

Zahra fluttered, her tears already pouring down her beautiful face. Sling continued out of his lips accompanied by the istighfar lafaz that he unceasingly uttered.

Not far from there, someone stood while watching the deep pain of his loved ones. For the first time he saw firsthand how fragile the woman was. Faridic. The man looked at his heart, his heart as if scratched at the sound of every sob that came out of the lips of his beloved woman. If allowed to want him to be the antidote for him, wash the wound with the sincerity of his love.

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

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