The Heart Of The Wife On Honey

Chapter 9 Knitting out a new dream

It's enough that I've been crying all this time lamenting my endless sadness.

Every day I just shut myself up in my parents' second room. I did not take a step to get my legs out.

Every day I was in the dark where I did not let a speck of light shine on me. I deliberately turned off all the lights except for the outside lights, as if people thought this house was completely uninhabited.

My body is thin and unkempt, how can I take care of myself because my heart is difficult to control.

There are no more dreams in my life that I want to knit like I used to. Now the dream is collapsing with a heart that hurts to pieces. Can I shape this broken heart as it was.

I smile, and I am happy sometimes. But it's been a nightmare, no more beautiful dreams that I draw every day. Building a magnificent palace with His pleasure. Now, it's just a memory that I can either forget or not.

Every night in my bow I cried and cried. I wish I had such a cruel destiny. In fact, I'm not that capable.

There's nothing else I can put on the back, where I complain of fatigue. Abi and Mamah are two human beings who always sincerely spread their hands to welcome the fragility of my heart. But they no longer exist. I was alone, lonely and scared.

Can I make a new dream. Without my parents and without my husband. When I fight who I will fight for again! there aren't. So why am I struggling, and I have no one to make my place of happiness.

*Yes Rohman, the weak and helpless Laila. Full of sins and mistakes. What should Laila do now! Laila is kara. This life was so suffocating that Laila was claustrophobic and sick. Forgive Laila who always complains and complains. This self is too weak while you are strong. This self is full of sin and error while you are forgiving. When nature punishes Laila, where does Laila depend besides You. Don't leave Laila when everyone leaves Laila. Laila was afraid that Laila would turn away from you, and there was no place to depend on you. Grace Laila's parents, don't put them in a despicable place. Because it's not appropriate for them. Don't make Laila's mistake of making abi and Mamah difficult. Forgive them for Laila's mistake. If you will punish Laila, Laila is sincere but do not punish Laila's parents for what Laila did. Sorry Laila!

May Laila ask, while You command to pray. Let Laila continue to depend on you, because Laila knows. You are the only one who never turns away from Your weak servants*.

My inner scream in my dhuhaku long prostration.

I bowed my head, who was feeling contemptible. With tears coming out.

Ting .. tong ...

Bell's voice made me startled by the rush I instantly wiped away my tears.

Could it be Amira who is visiting! I rushed into the bathroom to wash my face to look fresh. I don't want to look sad in front of Amira.

I slowly walked out of the room to open the door. Before opening I tried to smile as if I was okay.

Ccq ...

"Am ...,"

I gaped with my eyes to see who was visiting. How could they know I was here. Who told you! amira or bang Arman.

"Astagfirullah .., Asma why didn't you tell me. If you're here, son."

"What do you think of us, huh. You're always doing everything yourself."

"We're your family, son. We may be disappointed in you but you're still our family's Asthma."

"How can you be strong to face this test alone, son."

I grimaced at the nagging of my aunt and uncle, precisely their younger brother Mamah. Aunt Aisyah's youngest sister Mamah and uncle Fahmi's second sister mamah.

I didn't expect the two people I wanted to avoid them to even come and give me a warm hug.

Happy me! sure do.

I was happy and moved that my uncle and aunt were not angry and hated me for my death.

Mamah died one year ago, I still clearly remember the last moment she left.

Mamah knew of a doctor's diagnosis, stating that mas Vandu was unhealthy and could not give offspring. Mamah was angry because I had been hiding the pact, making mamah tell me to leave Mas Vandu. At that time, I denied Mama. I can't leave my husband at a time like this. Until the debate took place and that time also uncle and aunt knew it.

"*Aquite Asthma. Until when will you bear the slander of your husband's family and others. You should not have got that insult. Mamah is not strong if you have to hear you are humiliated and made fun of if you are barren, imperfect and disabled wife. In fact, it's not you who's in trouble but your husband. He should be the one to bear it, not you, son."

"But, Mah. Asthma is unlikely to leave the Vandu mas. Asthma loves him."

"You said love. Love what you call. Can't you see, your husband doesn't love as much as you love. If your husband loves you, he will not let you continue to be despised and humiliated in front of his family. My mother is disappointed with you. "

"Leave her. "

"Well, please don't. Asthma does not want to!"

"Asmaa* ... "

I further tightened my embrace to Aunt Aisyah. Remembering that hurtful thing really makes me feel guilty. Until my heart attack and left me disappointed.

If I could repeat the time, I would obey your orders. If only I could repeat time. Maybe, mama is still there.

If only and wish. But if I were not expected anymore. Everything has happened and I can't repeat it.

Now, I'm being wasted by the people I defend. I'm hurt by the people I protect. I was betrayed by the people I loved.

Aunt Aisyah pushed slowly on my shoulder, until my embrace came off. Gently Aunt Aisyah wiped away the tears on my cheeks.

"Have not cried, save your precious tears. Don't keep crying over that jerk. It all happened and it's over. Don't let yourself be weak in front of that jerk. Show him you're strong without him."

I just nodded weakly while hugging Aunt Aisyah again tightly.

"Hiks .., Pardon Asthma, Bik. Excuse me. Asthma has let you down hiks ..., "

"No, hon. Asthma did not disappoint us. Don't cry anymore."

"Yes, Son. If only, Amira and Arman would not have told us. We won't know what happened to you. Then, uncle is the first one who will regret not being able to protect you."

My cry broke even more when I heard what Uncle Fahmi said. I really feel overwhelmed and guilty together.

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