The Heart Of The Wife On Honey

Chapter 2 Trying to accept

Last night crying made my eyes swollen, I saw my face in front of the mirror with a smile.

Huhhhhh…

I took a deep breath and threw it away violently, I tried to accept my destiny to be in honey, even if I knew this heart was so sick. I don't know when I'll survive this pain. The sincerity I tried to instill though heavy and difficult, I was just afraid, fear of losing control that made God hate me. Maybe my heart is really hurting, which I can't describe. But I was far more afraid than that pain when God hated me with the unreality of accepting my destiny from him.

I'm just too afraid, if my Prophet doesn't think of me as his people when I don't accept my husband polygamizing me. I'm too scared of my Robb threats. How can this heart not hurt, of course it hurts never asked again. But my fear of my Prophet and Robb was so much greater that I chose patience and sincerity over everything. Let God turn my life scenario around.

I remember my teacher once said one of the hadiths of Rosulullah Salallahi Alaihiwasalam " Uhia Mussa As bin Imran As, Ya Mussa :Man Lam Yardho Bikodoi Walam Yasbir Ala Bala'i Walam Yasykur Bini'mai Falyahkruj Min Baini Ardi Wassama'i Wal Yathlub Lahu Robban Sawa'i (Allah SWT Reveals the prophet Moses AS, Allah says: : 'God : O Moses, whoever is not pleased with the kodho, is impatient with the test, and not being grateful for the favor, God threatened to bring the man out between the earth and the heavens and would send him to seek a God other than Allah)".

In this world I no longer have anyone, Abi died when I was in college and Umi died one year ago when Umi found out that I was hiding a problem! To make the heart relapse and immediately died on the spot.

Given that it makes me even more sick, mas Vandu the person I tried to protect from slander and ended up making my ummah leave me for ever. However, in fact, the person I was so protected and dear in fact could tolerate a huge wound.

I think the departure of my parents will make me okay, because I believe mas Vandu will always be there for me, but in fact I am very wrong, the person I was trying to protect hurt me this deep. No more hope from mas Vandu, his love was already divided making me feel alone in this world.

When others went and betrayed, I now realize that God never left. My hope is now only one, Ridho Allah. That will be my strength trying to accept this fate.

“Bismilahirohmannirihim ..,”

I say basmalah begin my activity, if my heart hurts but I try to keep doing my duty as a wife, let the Vandu who sinned hurt me but I do not want to commit the same sin , by not doing my duty as a wife.

Let me leave everything to God the matter of my life and my heart. Simply mas Vandu hurt me, but I would not invite the wrath of God when I did not do my duty.

I prepare breakfast by trying to be sincere, even though it is my husband Mas Vandu who I must respect and serve.

My lips tried to smile seeing Mas Vandu and his new wife just came out of the guest room, last night mas Vandu brought his new wife into the guest room because my main room which occupies exactly the room on the top floor.

“Breakfast mas, mba?”

I tried to smile to greet my husband and honey even though my heart felt in the crumb to see their affection in front of me.

I'm your wife too, mas. I'm trying to be sincere but where's your brother? My inner scream When I had to watch Mas Vandu feed his new wife without caring about me. I bit my lower lip trying to hold all the turbulent flavors in my heart while trying to swallow my own bitter pill-like cooking.

“ Laila?”

“Yes, my heart mas” felt healed when mas Vandu called my name. I tried to smile sweetly looking at him even though I knew his new wife from earlier looked at me cynically, but I was not puduli.

“Done your things in the room, from now on Vika who will occupy the main room and you in the lower room!”

Elan …

Like a blink of an arrow shot from his bow right through my heart hearing what Vandu said, it was very, very painful without stopping. My lips quivered with eyes that had condensed staring at meek mas Vandu who seemed not to feel guilty at all.

“Laila don't want, mas!”

Prangs…

“You, dare to argue hah..., settle now or ..., I will divorce you?”

Again my heart had to be dropped into the valley of pain, not enough did Vandu hurt me with his words that were very much hated by God.

“Mas, are you aware of your words?”

“Yes! And the choice is in your hands?”

I was silent staring with disappointment, pain and anger at Mas Vandu who seemed to change. There is no more loving and meek mas Vandu. Not even once did Vandu say rude and tall. But now his soul seemed to be lost and I don't know who this man in front of me was.

Yes Allah is sick ...

I saw his smiling new wife laughing at my suffering, wanting me to strangle her neck and smash her innocent pretentious face, but I was still sane and remembered sin.

“Alright, I'll budge!”

“Good!”

“ Basic barren!”

“It's a pity, don't hurt him by dubbing him barren,”

My hands clenched tightly at the painful word, wanting me to tear out his rotten mouth. But again, I can only be quiet.

“Not my honey hurt me, mas. But you! don't you realize with your own words!”

I muttered downstream while looking at every corner in this room. So many memories in this room that I went through with mas Vandu.

Five years we've built a real palace of happiness with the time my husband destroyed last night. There were no more pieces of hope that we had built all shattered and wiped out when my husband brought another woman into our palace.

Once again I looked at every corner of this room with a tight chest, clear liquid just kept coming out without me stopping.

“Yes Allah, Laila knows! you're with Laila, if you are! Strengthen Laila's heart to go through the gravels to your path of hospitality, ikhlaskan Laila's heart, as you strengthen the heart of Aisyah bintu Abu Bakr As-sidik when Rosulullah remarried. Reassure Laila that your resolve is far more beautiful than this heartache”

“Mas, if marrying again makes you happy, Laila is sincere. However, if you know the truth, will you be able to heal the heart that you have already broken!”

“ Hope you realize soon, mas. Remember that! Don't let the sheath laugh at the stupidity of your lust and Laila believes it will one day destroy your own hope! Child problem, can't we just adopt?”

I stared at the room nanar who had given the sweet and bitter memories, until I stepped both my legs out of the room with the rest of my belongings, because some of them were done.

Why do you say promise if you have to be denied, Mas. My bantin screams are really sick and leave that room full of memories.

Seriate...

Don't forget

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