The Heart Of The Wife On Honey

Chapter 3 Trying to survive

My days are so hard I feel, can I endure in a valley of unending pain. Every day I try to be patient. But again God tested me to see the intimacy of my husband and my wife without caring about me. As if they thought I wasn't in this house.

Was it wrong of me to be jealous? I don't think so. I was jealous of what Vandu was doing in front of me.

Today is indeed a holiday so mas Vandu did not enter the office but finished his time by watching. If with me my pain may be a little relieved, but my honey does not seem to give me the slightest gap to be close to my husband. My mother always tried to keep me away from my husband, and not let me talk even for a moment.

“Mas, the film is funny yes,”

“Ha..ha..

I can only squeeze my chest increasingly crowded see the laughter of mas Vandu with my honey watching my favorite cartoon film. Even mas Vandu was so eager to watch the cartoon with his honey without a care for me.

I decided it was better to go into the room and lock it than to see and hear the affection of my husband and my madman. Want to get to when? I have to be like this.

Where is my right as a first wife? it's been three months since Vika's arrival that I've been getting sidelined. If only Mas Vandu could be fair, maybe my pain would not be this deep. I feel lied to, betrayed and abandoned.

Even I now feel not the wife of mas Vandu anymore but only a maid who cleaned the house, preparing food without mas Vandu give me a living.

“Yes Allah is this sick?” my downstream bit my lower lip while lapping my chest tight.

I feel like I no longer have to endure the pain that is gnawing every day.

Should I hold on? when do you want to be? patience has no limits.

I'm just a weak creature, I don't know how long I'll endure this pain.

Even since the Vika tub came into this house, Vandu's mas doesn't belong to me at all. The birth and inner breath I did not get since mas Vandu brought Vika to this house. I think I exist but I'm not considered at all. The statue tub that lived materialized but felt nothing, not even on sapapun.

Wanting to fight but whatever the power, I always hung out and respected mas Vandu as my husband but in fact mas Vandu seemed to forget his duty to me.

I was in campakan, thrown and thrown out of the heart and mind of Mas Vandu. There is no longer the gentle, loving and loving Vandu that Vandu always gives me.

That look now seems to hate and scorn me.

Not a single moment in my mind mas Vandu will polygamize me. He said that his gentle, caring and loving speech did not show the slightest bit of mas Vandu will be duplicitous. Stare, that gentle demeanor was just a cover up for her mistake.

I have never blamed the polygamous mas Vandu but whom I blame for his unfairness in leading and behaving to his wives.

If it cannot be fair for what is polygamy, it only brings one sin to another.

Isn't it a husband's sin to hurt his wife, so why would Mas Vandu bear just for the reason I don't have children. What is the perfection of the household is measured because of the presence of children. Our marriage has only been five years. Then how the prophet Jakaria awaits the hadith of a child for sixty years. Isn't the journey still long, why don't you want to preach, Mas. But you even present a deep and widening wound.

"City ..., "

Degs...

I was shocked to hear the screams of Mas Vandu. I rushed to wipe my tears from before. I took a breath before I opened the door.

"Give me this shirt, I'll have dinner outside with Vika, "

"Didn't you take me? "

"No! you take care of the house, "

Yes this Robbi is very sick and sick, this chest is tight and sore. Why did you give me this destiny.

My body slumped with a clear melt continuously forcing out the stain on my cheek. I squeezed my chest tight as a narrowed boulder made me weak.

This pain is more open like a handful of salt that mas Vandu sprinkled on my wounded heart. Making this wound that I haven't been able to treat is growing other wounds. How do I treat it while there is no medicine that I can use to treat it.

I can only bite my lower lip staring at the nanar shirt that Mas Vandu gave only to iron and will come out later tonight. Dinner without taking me.

Isn't there Vika, why should I! all this time Vika was a mistress in this house. Not doing any work in this house. Wasn't she my husband's wife too. Why do I have to do everything.

Am I not his wife? why am I treated like a maid? mas Vandu was so heartened to tell me to keep the house while he would go and have fun leaving his wife one wife in pain.

I'm your wife too Mas, I'm entitled to come. Don't you treat me like this, it hurts a lot. Should I keep fighting or I give up.

If divorce had not angered God, I would have asked for it first. But, in fact, I was too afraid of his torment.

However, I was also wrong, if I survived only to fend for myself. However, I was also wrong, if pretending to be sincere in fact this heart rebelled.

Allahu rohman, this is your love. Give me a lead to get through this. Take hold of my heart so that I may be strong enough to accept Your destiny. Yes mukolibal kulub, open the heart of Vandu mas so as not to continue falling in the hole of attraction, my inner cry.

"Laila is sincere about Robb"

My murmur trembled as I moved my hand ironing Vandu's mas shirt.

Make this a field of reward to reach your riddho.

If Mas Vandu hurts me, don't make me hurt him. If Mas Vandu abandons me, don't make me abandon him. If Mas Vandu doesn't consider me his wife anymore, don't make me take him for granted. For I will not when I face You this self is filthy. This strong heart and soul is Robbi, to the point where you told me to stop.

Because I believe you are all-seeing and all-hearing in every breath of my supplication. This peace of heart in every pain, there is no defense of me because I realize I am not a saint.

There are times when I cry, there are times when I am angry, there are times when I am disappointed, there is a reason I do not accept, there are times when I give up.

"When I'm tired, I hope Vandu won't find me one day. If the arrival of Mas Vandu only makes the wound back. Or mas Vandu himself will throw me away, at that time do not take me back if you put me back in the same cage."

I stopped the scratching of the pen on the paper with trembling hands writing the last string of sentences.

Seriate....

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