The Heart Of The Wife On Honey

Chapter 5 Between the commandments of my husband or my Lord!

One week from that incident mas Vandu completely changed. Abusive treatment continues to torture me.

At first it might have hurt my heart but now it hurts my heart and my physique.

I really don't know who this man who became my husband was. I don't know what poison Vika gave me made my husband become a mustard.

Even the slap and jukan felt light mas Vandu gave it to me. I don't know how much longer I have to be locked up in this valley of pain and sin.

In every second, minute, hour and day I sin. Sinning will be a pretense. Sinning will be a lie.

Pretending to be sincere I am not strong. Pretending to be strong is actually lying. I lie that I am weak and helpless.

I saw my face in front of the mirror, I smiled looking at my cheeks that were swollen due to the slap that Vandu was flying.

I still remember the incident last night, where I accidentally spilled soup sauce on Vika's shirt. It's not my fault but it's Vika's fault that purposely stumbled on my leg until I took it off.

In the eyes of Vandu now I am only a mistake, a disability and a weakling.

"Based on self-knowing, disabled, barren women. Don't you accept me getting married again. Until you keep torturing my wife, huh."

"See, if Vika's skin explodes even a little I'll make you suffer. Damn woman, "

"You killed your mother and now you want to kill my wife. Fucking shit ..., "

Degs...

I squeeze my chest strong, it hurts so much Robbi. Remembering what Vandu said last night like a knife that ripped my heart.

Why would Vandu talk to me. Why now why? why did Vandu say something so painful to me.

I'm murderer! Nah! I'm not a hiks killer ... If only Vandu knew why Mamah was leaving. Will Mas Vandu regret or apologize to me. But this heart hurts too much, Robb just forgives it.

I was weak and gave up, Robbi, it was painful for me.

Cacian, humiliation, violence I get. Am I that cool, Robb, until my destiny has to be this way.

Did I wrongly defend this household, I defended it, protected it from slander. But what's the payoff! there is only pain I feel.

It should have been a curse and slander that led to mas Vandu but I sincerely covered it up. But in fact I am not that strong if mas Vandu himself has hurt me.

I squeezed my chest and I hit it hard. As if I wanted this pain and distress to go away.

But, in fact, this pain and tightness is real. Is it true that I am a disabled woman. It is impossible for a doctor's diagnosis to be mistaken. If it really means I'm a handicapped woman.

How this happened, I really do not understand the way your scenario, Rohman.

I dropped my body on the floor with a sobbing that kept on being reminiscent of what mas Vandu said last night when mas Vandu came home from the hospital.

"California,... "

"You know, you're a handicapped, barren woman. Almost your behavior made my son in pain. "

"Vika's pregnant and I'll soon have a child and be a father. If you weren't barren, I wouldn't have hurt you. "

"But, I'll make your life hell if anything happens to Vika."

"Remember that! "

Yes Rohman, yes Rohim, yes Kawiyu this heart feels sore to hear the words of mas Vandu.

Vika's pregnant! should I be happy or sad to hear it.

Maybe I am a little happy, because the hope of mas Vandu is soon realized. But too much I grieve because I may be a disabled woman.

Is the diagnosis wrong, if so. Yes Kawiyu .. be able to accept this fact.

Why are you testing me like this! the pain came back and forth without letting me heal the wound.

How can I be strong will heal from the pain while you do not let a second I treat it.

If everything is true, then Vandu is right. I'm a murderer. My own mama's killer is right in front of me.

Yes Robbi it is very painful, this self is helpless and weak. When my husband chided me and hurt me who in the world would help me just give me a grip to get up. But, in fact, I am alone and now I am ashamed to beg and ask You to stay with me through it all. This man is a great sinner. Will you forgive the mistakes I have made.

I hurt Abi and killed Mamah. Do I deserve Your help.

You are my only hope that I depend on, do not you also go and turn away from me like what mas Vandu did.

Realize I will not, blame Your Destiny. For I fear fear the weakness of faith and the strong lust to curse this destiny.

Everything feels real and dreams together. It makes me dizzy somewhere I am. My head was dizzy and my vision felt split. It feels like this self drifted somewhere and I don't remember it at all.

Dor ...

Dor ...

"City ..., "

Dor ...

"Laila open the door, Laila!!! "

Slowly I am not my eyes that feel heavy and my head feels dizzy.

The door bangs my sleep or faints I don't know.

Dor ...

"Laila quickly open the fucking door .. otherwise I'll break it!!! "

My consciousness as if forced back to make me surprised by the pounding of the door and the sound of mas Vandu.

I just grimaced with the throbbing dizziness.

Get Laila and Robb

My mind is trying to stand up, at what time I don't know. All I know is I want to quickly open the door before Vandu added angrily.

Brak ...

I retreated backwards in shock at the strong impulse of Vandu opening the door to hit the dingding.

"Are you deaf, huh. What time is it. Quickly prepare dinner, do you really want to kill my wife and my future son."

Deg ...

I was shocked for whatever reason to hear the beating of Vandu mas making my heart ache. Not because of his orders but the time that Vandu said like an arrow that stuck into my heart. It means I passed out instead of sleeping and I missed two prayers. Ashar and Magrib.

"Where are you going, make some food. "

"Mas, Laila wants to pray first"

I grimaced because Vandu grabbed my arm.

"Sholat can be later. Now cook, Vika and my son are starving."

"Just ask Vika who is cooking .. Laila to pray!!! "

My voice was stirring, I don't know the power from which I can yell at Vandu mas. Mas Vandu can berate and insult me I keep my head down. However, I do not accept mas Vandu told me to pray later. What if I said later that I died while I was in a state of sin.

Didn't Rosulullah ever say: La That Filmaksiat (No obedience/obedience in obedience)

Mas Vandu told me to leave my duty only to defend Vika's hunger. What about my pain!

"You dare yell at your husband!!! "

"Yes, because I have ignored the commandments of my Lord! "

"You! "

"Ma ... "

Plaque ...

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