The Diary Ecca

Part 2

...Love Feelings...

"in the morning already ngalamun, mending canteen yuk... laper ni has not had breakfast" said Devi with a typical Javanese accent is still kentel.

The basis of the Vi at this hour the canteen has not opened yet, after all it is true that most lecturers enter.ntar aja deh abis this hour" said the same Deva with my mind.

As time went on, the campus began to crowded and classes began to fill with lecturer discussions that were enough to make some people feel tense and even sleepy. After the first lecture hour was over, I Devi and Deva came out and obeyed Devi's delayed will this morning to eat.

"i'm sitting here. You guys eat first, I've eaten.drink aja anget tea"

My feelings are not good..

ooooo

The sky knows everything, about the longing who roars for food. About the lying puff from between the lips, between the loud thump of music in the corner of the room, about the taste quotes in the rusty car.

Dark clouds grinned bitterly, a little bit of crying bitterly, when it hit the innocent heart, so dark, so many misunderstandings, so much less?.

I looked up at the sky, the soldiers in logic began to get inflamed, demanding that happiness be returned. In deep turmoil, which path to choose, endure or let go?.

If only I could have pursued your steps so that we could walk side by side. If only I could, I would have decorated your days with a smile. If only I could, I'd make sure I deserve to be juxtaposed.

"okay! madam" ledek Deva, walking towards the mother canteen rames two, anget tea three yes bu on the table there" said Deva while pointing at the direction of the table we occupied.

"yes" replied the canteen.

"today we are full yes, ach even though I want to watch football tournaments between faculties, while washing your eyes.hahaha" said Devi while grinning.

"you want a cucimata, you need not bring soap to be clean" said Deva, I just smiled at the babbling of those who began to argue small.

"it seems that there is no need to say it later, and now it is clear the eyes" said Devi, who suddenly turned her gaze behind me. Me and Deva looked back at Devi and saw a handsome, neat, polite young man and his distinctive smile. Yes he is our senior brother Fikri and our idol too, but only Devi and Deva are so fond of him.

What is the name of this feeling? He's gone, thousands of miles away from me. At first he didn't exist just as a taste, then suddenly he reappeared then I had to mention what this feeling was?

Someone had closed his heart tightly and no longer intended to open. However, a good intruder will be present to repair any wounds created in the past.

My race had been silent for a few years, not even if I did not want such a dominant movement in my heart. I shut the door of my heart so tightly, whatever love I will never let in. With so much kindness, my life became orderly. My days went well without any of the circumstances being so overwhelming, I was not so worried about the loneliness and silence I felt. For me silence is a very pleasant thing for me, my days are filled with friendship with books and the sound of singing beautiful seagulls. It seems that everything will go well with or without him, but what is there is only a word but.

I felt that someone was watching me, so I turned to look at the figure and right brother Fikri who was sitting not far from our place, only blocked a few seats. I smiled reflexively while cupping my head in greeting. He replied with his trademark smile as well. Embarrassed I turned away while drinking my warm tea.

"Hah, the stomach is full and happy" said Deva with a smile and patted her stomach. I just smiled and continued to see pictures of my shots on the phone. Devi who was busy snacking while watching Fikri who was caught looking at us "hey Ca, see that brother Fikri saw you from earlier"

"Hem.. sotoi maybe he's looking at me again, looking at me, don't bother dech" I denied with a forced smile and a little nervous.

Sadness is like a silent lake on the mother's wall. Sobbing walls and carving up my childhood. How lonely was I at the time? Really am. I don't understand why I made that wall cry? It was like a home to me. Where I sleep and sleep at night. Where I play with my solitude. Then why did I make her cry?

There are things I wanted to forget from my childhood. Seconds of meaningless. Anger that slowly scorched and then swept through my heart. But now it is no longer fire. It has become cold. Why is the wound still there?

Wasn't I the man raised by my mother's wall? Why did I turn away from him? Why am I wearing that mask, just to see him smile? I've become another man. The man who wasn't the kid he grew up with. There are many masks that I wear. One is loneliness, the other is anger.

I know, I made him sad. The wall had long since been transformed into a tree with old skin, peeling in many places. The branches began to grow and the leaves of the fallen leaves, scattered where. It was no longer the tree I used to climb. No, it is not another tree. Except myself. I am the one who has changed. Like a suddenly dark blue sky. Like a cloud that overshadows the heart that ceaselessly cries.

"Ach.. You don't trust the guy, I think if you're the same he's bloated" added Devi.

"Yap cucok B.G.T" Sahut Deva.

"Hust. don't make doch, perpus yuk I want to find a book for material tomorrow" I said to stop their imagination.

"Ach, you're Ca until when the guy wants to be single, the opportunity only comes once" said devi.

"Heh speaking what the fuck, you mother .. cepet pay "break me.

ooooo