Secretly Loving You's

Ch 37 - Bitter Reality

"From who?" Finally the question came out too.

"Say from Nadya. His wife." A very cheerful answer, but it brought down my world for a moment.

My ears immediately buzzed. Heavy head like being hit by a sledgehammer. The view became confused. My surroundings instantly became quiet. The sounds of vehicles, people passing by, the whistles of parking attendants, everything was gone. There is only silence.

I looked at the woman in front of me who was still talking. I don't know what he's talking about. His voice I can't hear. His face was very cheerful. Sometimes his hand held my hand. The special characteristics of people who are asking for help.

The sun is shining very hot. The heat can penetrate open skin. Draw attention to the sky. Look at the sun that has become some. Very amusing. Is the sun not just one? Why is it now so much?

The pain filled the head. The coldness ran down my back, making my body tremble. Cold sweat begins to appear, while nausea comes on suddenly.

I know what the cause is. I know why my body reacts this way. Just because of one word, my body rebelled and was out of control.

I looked back at the beautiful woman before my eyes. Staring at him nilar. From the tip of the foot to the head. Reading his face. Look for signs of lies there. Each time I did, my eyes were always glued to the round bulge on his stomach. My breath became short. It was as if the oxygen availability had run out. Clumps of various feelings into one. Raged. I want to take it out and take it all out.

I want to deny. Ignoring what he said. But the evidence is in plain sight. Undeniable evidence, which breaks all existing arguments.

"Sir, are you okay? Your face is pale, Mother." The woman was suddenly beside me. Holding both my shoulders. Holding my body out of the dreg. It's so embarrassing. How can a healthy woman like me be weak in front of a pregnant woman. My heart is broken, broken and shapeless. But I can't show it. Enough I know! Just me!

"Em, yeah. I'm okay." Spontaneously my body moved away. Pulling out of the reach of the woman.

"Recare it all right? Your face is pale, Mother." Very beautiful and sweet woman. His face showed a high degree of worry.

"Yes, I'm fine." I shake my head. Trying to get rid of dizziness in the head. Even though my body is hollow and my feelings are broken, I can't show it to anyone. No one can know. Including this woman in front of me.

I'm setting my breath. Trying to clear your head. Act as if everything is okay. Pulling the corners of the lips, set the smile to expand as natural as possible.

"So, this provision is for Mr. Armand Abhimanyu. From his wife, Nadya's mother. Is it like that, Mom?" Heavy to say it, but I insist and make sure, that I did not hear wrong.

"Yes, right Ma'am ...." The woman read the name on my ID card. "Mbak Arsha's. Thanks for the help, Mom."

"Yes, equally. Anything else I can help you with?"

"No, there's no. Thanks to you, Ma'am. Sorry if it's nerepotin." After making small talk, the woman resigned herself.

My body cannot stop shaking. I gripped the stock tightly, hoping to get reinforcement. After the woman named Nadya was invisible again, suddenly the body that I thought was very strong began to glow. My knees became limp like gelatin, so I unconsciously fell down.

"Mr Arsha is okay?" Two security people came in suddenly, trying to help me stand up.

"No. I'm okay."

"Are you sure you're okay, Mommy?"

"I'm going upstairs, huh, Ma'am? Did you just go home?"

"I'm okay Sir. I can go upstairs by myself. Thank you." Thank you." Refreshing and strengthening, I tried to stand up. Act as if everything is okay.

Strong Arsha!! You strong!! Don't let anyone know that your heart is broken! Especially that guy! He cannot know your heart! Even though your pride has not been restless, at least for now, let your pride speak.

Face him with your back straight. Show me you're okay. Show that this reality does not make you slump and affect your emotions. At least, for now, that's all you can do. To save your self-esteem, which has previously been pawned!

***

I went up to the second floor with trembling legs. Suppose I were allowed to do as I pleased and disregard self-esteem, I would probably run to that person's room at this time. Throwing this food stuff over his face and berate him at will. Cussing and cursing him. Take out all the words of pearl I've ever known. However, it was only done by uneducated bar-bar women. I will not allow myself to be seen that way.

The step, the two steps I took, brought me closer to the room. When my feet were right in front of the room, I took a deep breath. Regulating emotional lunge. Prepare to knock on the door.

A second later, the thought came out of nowhere. What if that woman named Nadya wasn't his wife? What if the woman was just confessing to me or was intent on joking? When thought of logically, it is impossible for a married man to give such excess attention unless he is truly unmarried. Is this my wrong thinking?

To find out the answer, I just need to make sure. The trick is to meet this person directly and see his reaction.

After repeatedly taking a breath, I finally ventured to knock on the door. The second sound, the answer came from within.

"Lake in." I opened the door slowly. As usual, I saw him sitting while staring at the screen. He turned his attention for a moment and looked at me.

"Oh, Arsha. You just came?" I didn't answer right away. Instead of making small steps to get close to his desk. My feet were limp while my hands were shaking. My feelings? Of course it's not mixed. I can't define it.

"What's wrong?" ask again. I pushed that stuff in front of him.

"There's a delivery." I'm proud of myself. When I said it, I could not hear my voice trembling and breaking. I look very normal.

Mr. Armand looked at the supplies I poured out. He grabbed the stock and took a quick look. "From who?" tanyakanya.

I gulped down my hard-earned saliva, as the word slid from these lips. "Your wife."

I imagined, Mr. Armand would answer, "Ha? My wife? I don't have a wife. Don't fuck you up, Ar."

But in fact, that answer was not what I imagined. It only consists of a few syllables, but it is able to overturn my world just like that.

"Oh, from Nadya huh?"

***

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