Secretly Loving You's

Ch 24 - Likes You Secretly

The night before repeated itself. This time I can't fall asleep and embarrass myself anymore. We made a bonfire and sat around it. It was awkward at first, but gradually we found the topic of conversation.

"Mr ...."

"Hem?"

"Can I ask you something?"

"What?"

I was playing with tree branches. Making irregular patterns on the ground. Dare to look him in the eyes.

"Why is my father so good to me? I often make mistakes. If somewhere else, maybe I've been expelled ...."

"It's not clear."

"Yes?" Mr. Armand's answer was too ambiguous. What is clear? Is this about work or something else?

"Make wrong is natural. Moreover, you are a fresh graduate. Which is unnatural, if you make the same mistake over and over again." Ah, the answer is very telling. Makes me very embarrassed. I've made many of the same mistakes.

"You're my responsibility. Every mistake will be my fault. In the future, be careful."

"B-good Mr ...."

Oh, so he's being nice because I'm a subordinate who's in charge? Then all his attitude so far only limited to working relationships? There's nothing else. Did I over-interpret her kindness all this time?

Mr. Armand stared at the cell phone. "It's twelve o'clock. Tomorrow we have to go outbound. Are you still afraid?"

"No sir." Looks like he wants to cut it off. There are still many things I want to ask. About his attitude this morning. Honestly, I'm still curious.

"Well?!" Mr. Armand's words made me flinch, so I immediately looked at him. There was a witty glint in his dark netra, while the corners of his lips slightly expanded. Ah, apparently he was joking. Thought serious. My heart almost fell out of hearing it.

"No need, sir. I can sleep by myself" I replied standing up. Cleaning pants that are exposed to dust. He stood up.

"Smart kid." Again, his hand raised and landed on my head. Ruffling my hair. "Where to enter."

Please don't be ambiguous sir. This attitude of my father made my heart not okay. If you're being nice because of responsibility, please don't be like this. I can misinterpret the attitude of the Father and assume the Father has the same feelings.

"Let's daydream. There in." The pat on the shoulder resuscitated me.

"Ah, yes. I'll be in ...." I walked slowly like a confused person. Then turned back around as soon as he realized he had not said his regards. "Thank you Sir. Have a good rest." I slightly bowed my body and turned around to enter the tent.

Clear circles begin to pool at the end of the eye. I threw my body on the bed. Staring at the ceiling of the room that began to blur. That clear stream started down the cheek.

What answer do I really want to hear? Do I expect Mr. Armand to have feelings for me and admit it? What a ridiculous thought. How could a perfect man like him have feelings for me? Very confident.

If it wasn't like that, why would this sadness and pain come? Why does disappointment fill the chest? Why do tears flow in the river?

Actually I know the answer very well. I like Mr. Armand. And I want him to have the same feeling. What a naive feeling.

That night I slept with tears in my eyes. A sad sleep, but entertained with pleasant dreams. In the dream, Mr. Armand became my husband. My feelings are very happy. I know this is just a dream, but this dream drives away all the sadness that arises.

Thank you for appearing in my dreams, sir. I've been trying to contain this feeling. But apparently it can't. I must forget my promise not to like you. Let me like you, sir. I won't let anyone else know. I'll like you, secretly.

***

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