PARALYZED MASTER'S NANNY

SEASON II - Do you have love?

Rachelsa

Hearing Aarav's words, made me barely able to pucker up. I no longer focus on the beautiful face in front of me, nor am I interested in continuing to look at the various other paintings that are being exhibited in the Gallery.

The one thing I want most right now is to go home, so that I can vent all the sadness I feel because I remember the words Aarav keeps ringing in my head.

"God..." Aarav touched my arm, but somehow my brain immediately stimulated the movement of the hand to immediately brush off the man's touch.

"I. want to go home," said I faltered, holding back sobs and dams of tears that are now increasingly urgent want to continue to be issued, even though I have been shrinking repeatedly. I don't know why my water stock never runs out.

"All right" answered Aarav.

_____

All the way home, I didn't say a word more, neither did Aarav. Whether he regretted the words he had spoken to me or he understood my sorrow this time, I did not know and did not try to ask his silence.

I realized that if I was driving to my residence, Aarav did not protest against it even though I should have taken this man to his residence.

As soon as I got home, I helped Aarav get out of the car.

"I want to go to the toilet" I said reasoned, but I wanted to return to spill my sadness that had paused. "I'll call Abrine or Airish to pick you up here, sorry," I said as I moved on. I don't know, I don't think I can think now. I had no intention of abandoning Aarav, but my feelings felt very tight right now.

"It's okay, I'm staying here. I'm waiting for Aunt Nimas and Om Jimmy to come home."

Aarav's words managed to make me turn back to look at him.

"For?" manya curious.

"I've decided to let go of you so I have to dare to say it to your parents, Els."

My heart feels torn, why should Aarav say this repeatedly. Yesterday he may not have said this marriage annulment thing to our parents, but why now should he say it? Does he have the courage now? Or is he really determined to let go of me like he said?

"All right, it's up to you. Tell both my parents about this," I said hard, I reached the strap of the sling bag I was wearing to hold the tightness in my chest.

Aarav was silent for a few seconds, then nodded slowly.

"But may I ask you one thing?" I want to know this before Aarav actually leaves me.

"What?" aarav asked quietly and almost whispered. His head began to complain to me who was standing in front of him. Our eyes clashed with each other to explore the panorama that he said was the radiance of the heart's window.

"All these reasons are true, right?" tanyaku carefully. I don't want Aarav to lie to me and find excuses to cover up what he really wants. To be honest, I doubt he has any 'more' affection for me.

"You mean?"

"Your reason is right because you want the best for me..?. Or because you still like other girls?"

"Other girl? Who?" Aarav frowned in wonder.

"Mrs Siska..."

Aarav laughed heartily, I don't understand why he did that.

"The older I get, the more I understand the situation. I used to be too naive, but not anymore. True said papa, Miss Siska it was just my obsession while still unstable. I just idolize it, nothing more."

"...i also know that Ms. Siska was involved in an incident that caused me to become paralyzed as I am now. Even if everyone covers it up from me. You know about that, right?"

"Then, do you think I want to like a woman like Miss Siska?"

"Yes, no way, anyway." I sighed for a moment, controlling myself not to cry anymore. "So all your reasons for letting me go, right?"

"Yes" Aarav replied with a faint smile.

"Do you love me?" many ensure.

Aarav nodded faintly.

I also stared at Aarav, the tears that I had been holding back from spilling, finally had to break like a flood. Real, wetting both sides of my cheeks. Aarav really loved me, but he expected us to let go of each other. Funny, isn't it? Obviously we love each other, why not just hang on?

"Aarav. What I believe, if someone loves someone else then that feeling must be accompanied by an action to maintain. I've been trying to keep you, but you want to let me go. Everything I've worked for would be for naught if I just tried to be alone."

Without warning, I spontaneously gasped in front of Aarav, I lost my shame, all because of my tears that could no longer be compromised - not to fall in front of the man who owned this tanned eye.

I could see Aarav's eyes condensing, the netra locking onto my eyes, as if having some concern for my current state.

"From here I can conclude, that your love for me is not accompanied by an attitude of defense, it means that you only love me as ordinary affection, nothing more!"

"No, Els. I-i-"

"You have no love for me, Aarav!" cut me quick. "You don't love me like any other couple out there!" I was firm while shrinking tears.

Aarav. "Els, listen to me-"

"I know, really!" I did not give Aarav a chance to speak again, for me all of Aarav's decisions were absolute as accurate answers, that he did not have an excess of love for me.

"I told you, because I love you so-"

"About? You say baby to me again? But you want to let me go? That's not the concept, Aarav!" sambarku again and again, emotions and disappointment wrestled into one within me at this moment.

"Brahelsa!" Aarav said loudly. Maybe tired because I always cut and scowl. "I'm doing this because I want the best for you!" firmly then.

I was silent, still touched by the rest of the tears that continued to flow rapidly, maybe my face was now pale pasted with a reddened nose from crying from earlier.

"If you want what's best for me, it's you, Rav! You are! You're the best for me!" i said bebal.

Aarav ruffled his hair, somehow frustrated, somehow tired of facing the stubborn me.

"God! Look conditionally! Do you want to spend the rest of your life just as passive a man as me? Do you want to live with a man who can't do anything? Let alone giving you a living born and inner, I don't even have a job, Els!" Aarav looked at me with a very heartbreaking expression, I was more and more excited to see him.

"...if not because Papa bails my life, if not because my parents planted shares in my name, if not because my parents are capable... I can't even support you financially!" coined.

I was silent with my lips. Bows. Rind the fingers until the books turn white. Upset, but Aarav's words are true.

Am I capable of receiving Aarav? Maybe now the answer is yes, but in the future? Can I do it? This question often arises in my mind, but one answer that I can confirm that I have sincerely accepted the state of Aarav born and inner. I've known him since I was a kid, going through years of just thinking about the same guy. I can accept it if the one who has been outlined becomes my soul mate.

"Do you have love for me like I have it for you, Rav?" I asked for courage, but I bowed down, not daring to look directly into the man's eyes.

*****