Me, Bitterness And Happiness

Sorry, I'm Not A Good Man

This morning in class, Angel is seriously working on a history lesson with Bestie because her teacher is in an impromptu meeting. Keasikan and serious about reading questions and looking for answers, the two are unaware of Noval's sudden arrival.

"Woi, seriously!! " suddenly Noval came crashing across the table to the surprise of Angel and Bestie who were focusing on writing.

"Novale!!!" peeked Bestie for being so shocked and her concentration was disturbed. Annoyed, he stood up and grabbed Noval's ears.

"uhhhhh, pardonnn" cried noval because he felt his ears hurt. Jeweran Bestie is no joke. Very strong and sick.

"Little Rabit help me" Pinta Noval asked Angel for help who just looked at her with a frown.

"Bes, let go of ya" pinta Noval like begging gently.

"No way, the habit of ignorant mulu pisses off" snorted bestie which even makes Noval anxious.

"Darling yes, pain nhi my ears" Whether the entrance of the devil what Noval indeed Bestie with affection also very deep gaze. But it seems the noval is very serious with his call which actually makes Bestie clumsy.

"what the hell, dear cow. There's a lot in the cage. Basic seducer" ketus bestie with a shy expression because they just realized they became the center of attention of people in the class even Angel now smiled and cleared his throat as if tempting both.

"hehehehe.kan let you take off the jewel.but if you like, I will call you dear continue to the future" replied Noval with confidence and a ignorant smile.

"No offense" Sinis bestie who is actually shy and his feelings suddenly dag dig dug. His heart has been pounding ever since the noval called him dear.

"Here you two, if you want to date, do not be shy with me. I support it anyway" said Angel who even made Bestie more meet.he suddenly ran out of class with the reason to go to the toilet. Noval and Bestie burst out laughing. This was the first time they had seen the usually chatty and noisy Bestie look shy. Noval smiled meaningfully.Angel saw it as if he understood there was something between the two friends. While waiting for Bestie, Angel took out the phone from the bag and saw several incoming message notifications from her lover.

'Honey, I want to talk this afternoon. Do you have time?' fill in the first message

'Or later we talk while going home, also it's okay' contents of the second message

'sad you have a teacher in class?' learn the diligent Sweetheart. love you "content the third message from Matthew by adding emot icon love.

With a smile and curiosity, Angel returned a message Matthew agreed to the man's request to speak seriously. Angel became curious about what Matthew was talking about later.

'okay sis, later we talk. if talking seriously do not while walking. I give you the option in the parking lot before going home or just at home, how?' reply Angel and not a long time reply from Matthew into his phone.

'okay in the parking lot. See you later dear' Fill out a reply Matthew message.

'until I see you later also brother and I love you too' reply Angel again and after that he turned off the phone and put it in the bag. She did not know, The reply to the confession of love in her message made Matthew filled with countless feelings of happiness. I think Matthew wants to turn over. Because Angel almost never returned his love confession through phone and chat. But on the other hand, he was also not calm. The fear of their conversation later makes Angel disgusted and do not want to be close to him again and also break their relationship.

Matthew's current gaze led to Laras who looked calm writing while listening to music from the earphones. Actually he was suspicious, the message he received last night was sent by the girl beside him. Because the photos of their intimacy only exist and owned both. If until his conjecture is correct, he will not remain silent and will reprimand the girl. Because now he alone does not disturb the relationship between Laras and his girlfriend after they broke up. He was still kind enough to remember their long-standing togetherness and friendship.

"what does he want to talk about?" angel asked as he sat in Matthew's car. Matthew seemed hesitant to answer but he was determined to be honest. This is one form of commitment of the man's seriousness in maintaining his romantic relationship.

"Darling, what makes you so happy to accept me as your girlfriend?" Matthew begins by asking Angel for honesty about his feelings.

"The first man to make me fall in love. It was nice when my sister noticed me, sad and anxious that my sister did not come home and did not tell me. It was upset that my sister ignored me and cared for other girls. And also I am calm and comfortable with my sister. brother has helped to motivate me a lot when I was down yesterday. For me, Brother is also a hero" explained Angel at length. The twinkle of sincerity, heartfelt, affection and love that Matthew captured from his expression and eyes.

" is that someone you're the same as me?" ask Matthew again

"Hemm" deheman Angel nodded confidently. Matthew looked at her affectionately, slowly grasping her hands.

"Honey, if you hear something bad about me tomorrow, will your feelings still be the same?" Matthew asked as he stared at Angel intensely.

"Sister mean?" angel asked with a confused frown

"before you hear it from someone else.Sister will be honest with you. I hope you won't be angry" said Matthew, who now has his confidence somehow lost. What exists now is the anxiety of what Angel's response will be like.

"Honest about what?" angel asked as if urging Matthew to tell a story.

"I'm sorry, I'm not a good guy. Long before getting to know and we were dating I was a free man. going in and out of nightlife, drunk and" Matthew paused to look at Angel hesitantly. While Angel is still trying to catch up.

"and ***" Honestly Matthew accompanied by a stroke of regret and also shame. He felt that Angel someone who was innocent was instead stuck with her who was filled with stains. Want to know Angel's response? The girl was crying, her eyes were teary and slowly tears were shedding to her cheeks. Angel admitted as a woman of course she was very disappointed to know her lover had a past that was contrary to social and religious values and norms. Seeing Angel rebuking, Matthew's feelings became miserable and sick. Her boyfriend is hurt to hear stories about his past.

"With Brother Laras too?" Angel asked on the back of crying

"what dear?" ask Matthew

"Son't you sleep with Laras?" ask Angel

" I'm sorry "Accounted Matthew in a very soft voice. Hearing Matthew Angel's Answer gets more and more hiccuped, angry, hurt, disappointed everything becomes one. It feels so coarse. Matthew immediately carried Angel in his arms. She continued to apologize and asked the woman to stop crying.

"If you've gone that far as Laras why you want me, do you intend to fuck me too" asked Angel in a voice that sank in Matthew's arms.

"No, that's not very true, honey. I want to be a better man.loving and loving you wholeheartedly by not putting my passions forward, that's my determination and I hope you will help me to change. Reprimand me if I touch you excessively.

For the matter of Laras, I did sleep with him, but we didn't do ****" Matthew answered everything with honesty accompanied by anxiety because the more he told me the stronger Angel bit his shirt as if holding back emotions.

"Please don't tell me to stay away, don't tell me to leave. I Love you Angela Abichail. please stay with me" said Matthew pleading with Angel who was still in his arms.

"i want to go home" Angel broke up without responding to Matthew's conversation. He let go of a hug and stared out through the windshield of the car.

"well baby. Please don't hate this jerk guy huh" Matthew replied with a raucous voice holding tightness in his chest.

They came home in a silent car. Angel was still each with a look out the window while Matthew once saw Angel and stroked her head sincerely.

Arriving home, Angel thanked him and went down without looking at Matthew. He enters and locks the door of the house and cancels Matthew's intention to catch up with the girl. The situation at Angel's house was quiet because Mama vita was in the stall before Matthew went home to send a message to Angel. He apologized and begged the girl not to hate him.

Matthew doesn't want to lose Angel. The feeling was not just an obsession but a sincere feeling from the bottom of his heart that he loved and loved Angel so seriously. Until she intends to be honest with the girl about her past.

It had already been three days since Matthew's honesty. Angel was avoiding the man. He did not reply to any of Matthew's messages, did not pick up the call, even refused to see Matthew visiting his home. Mama Vita knows it seems like the two lovebirds are facing problems. He can only give advice and not do much. The biggest decision remains in the hands of Angel and Matthew.

There have been hundreds of missed messages and calls from Matthew. At school, Angel avoids Matthew by going to the library and hiding in a noval class.

Today is the fourth day the two did not meet and did not communicate. It feels like Matthew has accommodated a yearning weighing hundreds of tons. She kept texting her girl despite not being replied to and called despite not being picked up.

'honey, I miss. if you are angry do not be long yes. if the anger has subsided, please tell me I really miss going to meet. want to hug you. sorry if you think I'm a pervert. I Love you Sweetheart' This is the contents of an incoming message from Matthew a moment ago. Angel just looked at it. He honestly misses his girlfriend. He also wanted to meet and exchange stories. But somehow his hand seems not to want to move on the phone keyboard to reply to his lover's message.

on Saturday, after five days they were silent and did not see each other, when they woke up to take a nap, as usual there were dozens of incoming messages from Matthew.

'sad'

'Sweetheart '

'kangen's'

'I miss very much with you. please get angry enough first yes'

'please tell me how to heal your heartache and clean up my stained past. Now I really feel unworthy to love you so well just stuck with this shameless me. Sorry.'

the sound of this last message that makes Angel unable to last longer harbors the same longing. He already thinks that everyone has a past. appreciating, accepting and supporting their intention to change is one of the best things they might have hoped for. Angel recalled how the man was next to her during her worst time. With all sincerity, her lover's patience and affection continue to motivate her. Now he is determined to do the same by accepting and supporting Matthew's changing intentions. Everyone has a dark story in the past or the future.

Of course the passionate longing is also felt by Angel. He wants to meet and enter in Matthew's warm embrace which always gives him calm and a sense of security. After taking an afternoon bath, she immediately sent Matthew a message.

'Brother, I miss. Hug's'

this is the message Angel sent to Matthew. But until twenty minutes passed Matthew did not answer his message.usually the man was not late when answering a chat from him. He was sad and shed his tears. Did Matthew give up?

Until the arrival of mama vita surprised him.

"Honey, Matthew that" said mama vita with a little haste.

"Sister Matthew why ma?" angel asked curiously and anxiously.