I'm You And The Past

Past times

POV Eun - Jung

Eun was still wearing her school uniform.

Kai is my best friend, we have been friends for a long time. He used to play in my house. I've never met his father, but his mother works at my house. She and her mother used to come in and out of my house. And I never minded, for me Kai is a good friend. She disappeared when my mom died. That aunt and Kai never came in for long. Though I wish you were with me, you listen to my story but in fact you didn't come to comfort me.

you said you'd make a tree house for me.

you said you'd make me your wife

you said you'd succeed like papa and make the family as cheerful as my family

You lied!

you disappeared instead.

Glen opened the door of my room, he threw a smile as he put down a plate of fruit.

"Are you studying?" I nodded slowly.

"Want me to help you?" I nodded again accepting Glen's offer.

"I've just come from my papa's room" said Glen, I just listened.

"I saw a woman with her son, she had a cheerful smile" Glen's words made me close the book immediately.

"Where did you see it?" ask me excited.

"In papa's room" Without waiting again I immediately ran down. It must be Kai, I'm sure it must be Kai! Finally after how long you disappeared. I miss you so much. You miss me too, right!

"Kaiy!!" I shouted down the stairs, calling your name. Ah you must not hear me, right, this room is very spacious. I slowly walked into the papa's room. I thought it would be exciting if it surprised you, I wanted to see your lips that streak a big smile.

I opened the door to my office with my heart. I wish I could surprise you. But I was surprised.

I saw papa hugging your mother, papa wiping away your mother's tears. What's that! Makes my chest feel tight and scared. What are your mom and dad doing? why are they hugging each other? why are they only two here? Why is aunt here. Papa leads your mother to sit on the couch, she leads with a heart. I could only stay still, my throat was stuck in pain. What papa did! What they do! I can't see the next scene. Only the tightness continued to jostle, making my eyes even hotter. Since when did they do all this, since when did papa cheat? what before mom died? Did Kai know all this! Kai and his mother go in and out of this house too often.

I leave the room immediately. My chest hurts so much to see that indecent scene. I can't contain all the pain in my heart. So all this time, every time you and your mother come here. It turned out!! I can't even say it. Even before my mother died, the aunt had already entered this house.

BRAK!!

I ran not seeing the road. You led me up. My knee was bleeding at the corner of the stairs. You're leading my shoulders. You asked me, you're worried about my situation. You seem to care about my feelings.

"What's Eun?" You ask as if you don't know. You don't know or pretend you don't know! look at this pushy look.

"You crying?" I patted your hand that touched my cheek. You don't take it? you're upset. The same! I'm upset too, I don't take it!

"You see!" my whisper in your ear, hot, as hot as your reddened ear, as hot as my tears keep spilling. It was as hot as my feeling of wanting to explode.

"What do you see! did you see all that!" 

"Do you know all this Kai?" you who are down and silent make me understand. What does it mean you know all this? what does it mean you keep all this! I'm disappointed in you.

"Kai, I hate you!" I whispered at the time, but you didn't take it. You keep persuading me, you repeatedly call my attention. You even begged me, you want to remain my friend, DREAM! you have to wake up from your dream!

"STOP! stop Kai.." You heard my hoarse voice. Even the sound can no longer come out.

"I hate you.." You reached my wrist, though many times I tried to let go, you tightened up. I hate you Kai! I hate you so much!

"Detach Eun!" glen's voice was present between Kai's clutches, between my sobs that continued to be. I ran into Glen's arms. Into Glen's warm embrace. Only Glen understands me. Glen was always with me. There is only Glen!

Glen led me back to the room.

PRAAAAANGG!!

I swept it over my dresser, letting it all crumble, like I felt. Papa loves mom so much! a bullshit!! papa had just done that for a moment!! I remember what I was holding back then, a cell phone. I threw it until the glass of the room shattered into pieces. Destroyed as I felt.

The sound of knocking on the door out there is playing on my emotions. I'm getting out of control. I hate this house!!

"Euuun.." Only Glen's soft voice resuscitated me. He took my hand, cleaned the bloodstains dripping onto the carpet. Glen smelled, tasted and licked the blood that came out. He cleaned it with his lips, with his tongue.

"Relax.settle down.." Glen hugged me tightly. Fragrant perfume. The smell of Glen's body, all made me feel calm, as if lowering the emotional tension in my chest.

"Nobody's perfect Eun, it's just you, it's just you that's perfect" whispered Glen making me nod in agreement.

I was still in my school uniform, Glen was in college. I was so fucked up then. As we begin a deeper relationship. When I realized I was already in Glen's arms, I tried to calm myself in his arms. Trying to accept the reality of life, I am sure there is Glen in every issue of my life, he will continue to be with me.

"I'm always with you" whispered Glen in my ear. He took off all my school uniforms, he took off his clothes. Just with Glen in me, everything feels calmer. Glen is my medicine.

***

"Eun.." Kai was still trying to knock on the door, Eun didn't care, she locked her room, there was only Glen accompanying her. Kai leans limp in front of the door, hoping that Eun will give him a chance, hoping that Eun will still be friends. How many days had she expected to see Eun again. But it's even like this. Kai held back his heated eyelids.

"Babeh.aaa.." Kai seemed to not understand with the moans and sighs from inside Eun's room, as if he did not hear. Kai closed both his ears. He pulled both his legs up against his chest. Kai won't listen. Don't wanna believe. She cried. Kai first cries for his friendship with Eun. For a friendship that will never be again.

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