I'm You And The Past

Can't do without you

"Ask him who I am!" Risa smiled bitterly remembering Hoon's sentence earlier. That's as easy as you do friendly behavior in front of other men. This isn't even the first time. Before you hugged me, you calmed me down.

And now, look at your hand. You're getting our fingers tightened. You've been very clever at manipulating other people's views.

The air today is quite hot. It was hot, making my soul and body burn. Why are you in front of me again? What are you doing here? why did you appear like a savior. 

Hoon, stop paving the way in my life. Stop interfering in my business. You don't know, this heart is so tight and heavy. This thought is so hard. I have trouble forgetting you. So, can you not always be like this! this is all disturbing my mental health!

You said Risa was cheap. You said you were disappointed in me! so let someone else do all that too, Saying all those words, I'm used to it. Very used to it, to me it was like enjoying a snack of life. I've been too used to receiving all the scorn, that condescending look! stop caring about me! Let them judge me like that, didn't you start?

Slightly as breeze as if soothing my skin. The skin that was wet from sweat instantly turned cool with a slight gust of wind. It's like you!

you inflicted a lot of wounds on me and you came like a healer missing me. You gave me hope. You're getting brave into my personal realm, you're back to teasing the kink in my heart! I have tried hard to build this fortress! why did you just knock it down.

It is hard for me to hate and reject you! so hurry up and leave before I'm paralyzed with all your cowardly behavior! Do not pull our relationship. This is not a kite!

You don't know how hard it was for me when I was facing my early pregnancy, I enjoyed the morning sickness. Nausea, dizziness and burdened. How not, I can't visit some midwives near my house. Neighbors don't want me. I can't go out to enjoy the morning light, but I just want to warm myself. No one wants to say hello or just smile at me.

Why do you think I want to end my life! I don't trust myself anymore. I am tired of blasphemy, insults and cynical stares. I couldn't accept my parents' disappointment. It's all very painful. I was very sick at the time!

Do you know! you couldn't possibly know. You're not me. You don't stop working, you don't leave the job you've been fighting for so long. You have no insults and insults, who would dare to do that to you!. You don't feel your belly bulging, your appearance changing drastically, because you're not a woman like me.

Then you came like this. Embrace and hold my hand. Watch how bright and successful you are. I smile at your very good life. We are in a different world.

Risa stopped the steps. Make their hands flinch. Not to be missed, because Hoon was holding back enough with power. The man turned around, knitted his brows, Hoon was astonished.

"What's wrong?" ask Hoon.

Risa raised her face. The blazing bright bias of the sun made Risa's eyes narrow slightly, restraining the glare, but did not undo the sharp gaze towards Hoon.

Lisa pulled her hand slowly. He let go of their hands. Hoon nodded as if understanding. He handed Risa's grocery bag. Both were silent for a moment.

"Alright, I'll go" said Hoon overcame a misbehavior because of Risa's sharp gaze, he stepped first to leave Risa.

A BRUUUUKK!!

Risa threw her shopping bag onto the back of Hoon who had not yet stepped two meters away. Make the man stare. Risa was emotional, until all queued up in the throat, waiting for her turn to be released freely.

"It's just like this your attitude towards me! just like this you want! is all this enough for you, are you satisfied now!!"

Shopping bags littered the street. Several cold drinks rolled on the asphalt.One of them rolled up to the tip of Risa's feet, the hissing sound of the seal being opened. The soda spilled its contents on the dry streets, coming out smoothly until the contents ran out.

Just like Risa. The feeling he has. The feeling he was hiding, all as if urgently wanting to get out. Everyone wants to be thrown. Everyone wants clarity. Hoon, Risa's too tired of you.

"Don't I tell you our relationship is over!" Risa clucked in annoyance, she raised both arms, turning her waist. Sighing fast, trying to regulate emotions that seemed ready to explode.

"No, not me! You're the one who said I had to get out of your life, you said our relationship was over! you said all that!!" Pukas Risa.

"Say I'm a cheap woman who sleeps with anyone! tell me I'm not worthy of you! what do you want now!! what do you want with me!!"

Why is everything so hot today!

Risa looked back at the back of Hoon's field. The man was also still pecking, his ears were watching, he listened to every utterance of Risa.

Risa covered her face with her palm. It's very painful. Really, realizing you're being asked to walk away from someone you love so much. It hurts so much, it hurts so much when you can't forget her figure because there's a baby that keeps reminding everyone of her! it was all so painful, it was so painful to be toyed with by this kind of feeling.

Risa was crying, even though she tried to hold back her tears, but she couldn't.

Hoon, you're making me feel like I'm being ripped apart. You could do all this to me!

"I'd be happier if you hated me for so long, I'd be happier if you threw away my face and even spit on me." Risa's voice shook and sounded very soft.

"Stop caring for me like this. Leave me for the rest of your life.I'll be happier if you find another woman in your life.. forget about me.." Hix.. Risa tried to wipe away the tears, she did not want to cry like this, especially Hoon could hear clearly the discordant tone of his voice.

Hoon clenched both of his palms. He tried to hold his breath, trying to resist the loud rumbling inside his chest. Hoon slightly raised his bowed chin. He hid the red eyes that were glazed over.

"Get out of my life.meet your happiness.." Risa's voice seemed to run out. Short of saying all this. You're not sincere about it!

Don't hurt your heart too deeply, don't cry over every grief. Don't cross the line again.

Hoon turned around, stepped long, he hugged Risa! hold strong female body.

As if I don't want to make room for air. As if I no longer wanted to be apart. Hoon held Risa stronger, and tighter. Never part again.

"I beg your pardon." whispered Hoon in a raucous voice.

"Please give me a chance.." Risa biting lips hearing Hoon's heavy voice.

She was crying too? this time cry. Because my tears can't be contained anymore.

"I only love you." tears dripped down both cheeks. 

The scorching light didn't feel hot when you clenched tightly like this. The agonizing feeling of tightness why it slowly melted away. This fast!

"Risa's.. I can't live without you.."

***

Duh, Hoon and Risa will be together again?

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