GOODBYE

45. breaking process

“Pak, the same Tegalrejo area Kali Dawung asked for additional rations,” said Edi, one of the “ngampas” personnel in this bakery factory. Shipping parts.

The term is indeed so, “ngampas”. Maybe this is because of the habit of the merchant sending his merchandise using a canvas tub car, a pickup vehicle covered with tarp. Appeared the term “ngampas” earlier. Solved “V” so “P”, understandable only because Edi Sundanese. Plural is known that Sundanese people are happy to change “F” and “V” to “P”. Without a doubt, many of them wrote the business name sign “Serpis Bicycle Federal” for the purpose of “Service Bicycle Federal”, so. Then, everything that is send-send merchandise is called “ngampas", even if it is sent using a motorbike or just riding a jengki bike.

Akas just nodded, while twitching his head. She's dizzy. Not a headache that is not zhahir's business lately tightened back terpernya.

“Where, Sir? Can you not approx?” ask Edi.

The jury grimaced, “Mentok, out.”

“Wuuh, dear euy. Obviously, that money. Gedein or his factory, sir,” he gave good advice.

Akas continued grimacing, not answering. This was not the first time he had been given advice on scaling up his business. Already many. But, I don't know, I'm afraid. Not pretending that it is. Feeling, lazy to think money. The situation is similar to the lazy eating and lazy sleeping....

Especially lately, when somehow dizziness that is not zhahir's business is turbulent other than usual. If the previous life, smooth, now the game is rough-and-tumble. Like a wild ball coming out of his cage. And, obviously affecting the physical, affects the zhahir aspect, because of this Akas so often shed tears. Not crying, the tears came out on their own. Then, said Asih, occasionally his face looks flushed with veins in the middle of his forehead and the edges appear prominent. Outwardly, like people are angry. In fact, no, just feeling dizzy is incredible.

So, a week ago Akas reported to Kyai Khalil about this change. As usual, the teacher smiled. “It's okay. Patience,”.

“But, it feels like it's going to zhahir too, Yai? Dizziness outside inside..”.

“Iya, it is. Initially zhahir was subject to zhahir, the mind was subject to God. Then, the zhahir and the inner are both subject to God. Conscious or not, willing or forced, all are subject to Him. Everything, Dia.”

Akas nodded while holding a throbbing in his head.

“Next, how should I, Yai?” she asked.

“Forward. Remember the story of breaking through barzakh?” java Kyai Khalil, all of you immediately asked.

Akas nodded. Remember once he told that story.

Kyai Khalil smiled again. “God willing, your first barzakh will soon be broken. But, remember, the veil is multi-layered. Here, let's say the first layer. Nurun alaa Nuurin, Light above Light. Multilayered light.”

Akas. Did ya?

Kyai Khalil nodded slowly. Know the voice that comes to his student's mind. “Intinya, keep dhikr. If you can, make a special room for this. Think there with all the forms of submission you have right now. It's okay even if your resignation is now still resigned aqli. At first, everything was so. Play reason first, then with heart and taste. Push all your wits into the path of taqarrub. If necessary, force it. Because, this reason does tend to like reason. It wants to win by itself, it wants to taste good by itself. But that's the art. If there is no sense, there is no world. Plate all, hehehe.

Akas grimaced.

“Akal, that's the first barzakh. The dignity of the human mind which tends to be delinquent, is full of delusion. Imagine if this liking was not accompanied by his knowledge, not accompanied by true faith, then yes probably as many are emblazoned today. The faces of al-munaafiqun, hehehe.... Another on the lips, another on the heart. Shy, rare items now.”

Akas.

“Understand, penetrating does not mean eliminating. Crossing does not mean negating. Crossing barzakh means purifying or aligning that barrier against the dignity of Perfection. Verily every human being is perfect, so they are assigned to return to the dignity of Perfection. What makes it seem imperfect is the barzakhs, the veils of the barrier. So these veils must be purified so that they are no longer in a position to hinder perfection against Perfection, but to deliver it..”.

Akas who was nodding, now gawking.

Kyai Khalil smiled, “Still confused, yes?”

“Iya, Yai. A little caught, but not yet intact."

“Yes, hasn't it broken yet? Hence, now penetrate first. Later, if it feels like, you explain to me the meaning of passing this. You see, I am old. Tired of lips when told to ngoceh. How, can?”

Akas.

“Can, no?”

Akas nodded, still grinning.

Kyai Khalil laughed softly. It sounds, the tone is happy....

“Taste again, Mas?” ask Asih, when she met her husband at the room limit.

Akas nodded while grimacing. The wife who had been told about what was going on, grimaced back dearly. Grimacing them, Akas went in after quite a bit.

Asih sighed as the room door closed and locked from the inside. If so, it was as if her husband had withered from the mortal realm. No eating, no drinking, and no sound. Once Asih peeked out of the window slit, seen her husband sitting cross-legged on a prayer mat turning prayer beads. His body and head nodded rapidly, sometimes twisting. Isn't that dizzy? Frankly, if Asih had not known that her husband was studying with Kyai Khalil, he would have been worried. Don't-don't be playing “mu black”. But where is Kyai Khalil? He was all white. In fact, his father was also his student.

Thus, this situation lasted for almost a month...

The last two days, Asih was agitated because her husband did not come out of the room. Absolutely not out since the entry yesterday after zhuhur. Usually there is still to the event outside the entry, change it. But, the two days her ex-husband kept inside there. Peered, just like last time, was sitting cross-legged swaying head and body. It's just that, who now looks like the face of the husband is more agitated. It seems more dizzy than before. Fortunately the factory can walk alone, because there are representatives, there are Akas trustees who can carry out managerial tasks if the boss is obstructed.

Can't stand it, Asih reported to his father. All told what happened to her husband over the past month. “Kata Mas Kas, told so the same Kyai Khalil.

Kyai Sanusi sighed. She was actually surprised, but could hide her shock. Wh why? Because, even he had not experienced the circumstances that now happened to his daughter-in-law. Dizziness is dizzy, but still dizzy that life. Not until as told Asih that her husband often shed tears and her face reddened.

“Do not disturb. Let me ask Kyai Khalil first,”.

Asih.

Then, leave Kyai Sanusi to the home of his colleague, sister-in-law, and teacher. There, direct reports of what was going on with her daughter-in-law. Kyai Khalil just smile, “It's okay, Haji. It is so,” he said.

Kyai Sanusi. “Impact of that Light, Kang?”

Kyai Khalil nodded, continuing to smile.

“My shell is not so?” ask Kyai Sanusi.

“For each...” Kyai Khalil laughs, slow down.

“Means?”

“Yaa, that's the part of each. Same map, same vehicle, same sign, but it can be different. The right of God is up to Who has love. I was given what, Akas was given what, Haji also given what, like Him. Actually so. Sharia, depending on the mujahadah each. The degree of struggle of each human being in taqarrub ilallah is different.”

Kyai Sanusi sighed, then slightly lowered his head.

“Already, Haji. Let it go, your son-in-law is fine. Waiting for the midget, hehehe.... When was last, he promised to tell me when he got the taste. Try, we'll hear the story together. Want to know me, can't that Javanese child ngocehin taste, hehehe..”.

Kyai Sanusi chuckled. Just, the crest of his tone.

Not long after, he returned home. There, Kyai Sanusi forbade Asih “tease” her husband who was confining it. “Wait until exit by yourself. Don't get tapped,” he said.

“But, sir, if there's anything, how about?” Asih protest. Yes, she loves her husband. It's natural to worry about anything happening to the kangmas.

“No, no. Kyai Khalil said, it's okay.”

“Kok can be okay? Have you not eaten for two days? If it hurts later, how?” He continued to deny his father.

“Yee, you are this. Start again stubborn as you first. Yes, Kyai Khalil said it was okay. If he says it's okay, it's okay. Hayo, what else to say?” Kyai Sanusi glared fondly at his youngest daughter who had produced four generations of successors.

Manyunlah Asih, because of reprimanded “Prince Diponegoro”.

“But, hintip can't you, sir?” he's still trying to shoot back.

“Ah, it's up to you. Just don't bother...,” said the father, resigned, then moved while smiling.

He's understand. Because, this daughter-in-law couple is indeed the most suitable among other daughter-in-law couples. Sometimes they are thought to still act like the courtship era, which is the tone of the nyebelin. There are three Power Rangers and one Barbie.

So, after “Prince Diponegoro” passed, Asih rushed to peek again at the condition of her husband, who the last two days is “salah kamar”. Who knows what it is, lying unconscious or what. However, it turned out fine. I mean, it's still the same as before. The husband's face seemed to grimace violently while nodding deeply, then muttered furiously for a while, before returning a nod. In the window slit, Asih also shook his head....