GOODBYE

13. sejatining shahadah

Arriving at home, his grandparents were sitting on bale-bale next to the house. His position was before Ngatijo bullied.

“Where to, Cash?” ask Bagyo while rolling a klelobot cigarette. Her prayer beads lay near her feet.

“Ngejar Ngatijo,” Akas replied, honestly.

“Lho, why?” Surtiyah change nanya.

“No, Mbah.., just breeze him.”

“Hehehe..., it's big still hasn't changed the boy,” muttered Bagyo. His wife chuckled.

Akas had to grimace. Silence after that. Nur burned his kelodot cigarette, then sucked deeply. Smoke also thickens from traditional cigarettes. His prayer mat was spinning slowly on his right hand fingers. Because all was silent, Akas was carried silent.Ee., Ngatijo nongol fit is shahdu so. The road passes from tree to tree. When his eyes pegged Akas' eyes, he immediately slashed him. Gemes is right Akas is. Unfortunately his position is not free to hit because it is blocked by the sepuh. Forced her original granddaughter Subagyo was back as well. End, what should? Seeing the nagging of the opponent, the tengil there felt that their business had settled itself. He also appeared, walking closer blatantly.

“Lha, the Ngatijo,” Surtiyah said. “Sini, Jo..,” take him.

“White, Mbah. Here alone,” replied Ngatijo, then take a squatting position somewhat over there.

“Sini you know,” Surtiyah asked him again.

“Here only, Mbah. Quickly fierce, hehehe.

Akas. Damn his foster brother, a talented trouble maker seems. But, Akas loved him, because he knew that Ngatijo was too. Understandably, both without a father and mother.

“What is this?” Bagyo asked, after chuckling.

Whoa, this Ngatijo, Mbah Bagyo. Like play “ada apa” too.

“Nothing, Mbah,” replied Akas, slowly.

“Anu you know Mbah, someone wants to be a father, hehehe. ..,” chirps the rancid.

Akas glared again, but his grandparents even chuckled with Ngatijo. Oo, get it now Akas, where the rancid knows....

“Kas, said you want to be a priest?” ask Bagyo. His eyes stared in the shade at his grandson.

Even though I expected, Akas still gasped, then looked down.

“Mbah Surti story, said you want to be a priest. Is true?” the grandfather asked again.

I was still silent, not answering.

Silent moment.

“Yesterday, meet Father Jo?” Bagyo shot again.

“Ngak, Mbah. Father's out of town. I was talking to Arabi. Until home, Father Jo has not returned.”

“Arabi, his son Mr Kasim?”

Akas nodded.

“Hehehe..., piye kabare the Arab boy?”

“Good,” reply Akas. Then, without being asked, he reviewed his conversation with Arabi yesterday first. Everything, up to the statement of the close friend about Mbah Bagyonya.

Bagyo chuckles. “There-There was that boy,” muttered later. “But what he said was true. Basically, yes it is. There's no such thing, no. Only, that's just the foundation. If only that, it has not become a Christian or Islamic building. Understand, no?”

Akas shook his head quickly.

Bagyo chuckled again. “Nothing if you don't know yet. Back to that question. How's it? You want to be a priest?”

Akas was silent again. Long time....

Grandpa and his grandmother waited patiently. Another with Ngatijo who has been angop several times. He was indeed miserable if the atmosphere was serious, like haha-hehe. Slowly, the rancid went into the house. I think I want to sleep even though it hasn't reached noon.

“If you want to be a priest, Mbah will not hold.” said Bagyo, after Ngatijo disappeared from circulation.

I raised my face, looked at my grandfather.

“Hold-hold is also free,” Bagyo muttered, continuing his speech earlier. Cigarette cobots are smoked, thick smoke is softly penetrated. Tasbih keeps on turning.

I go back to being silent. It seems true that his grandfather was similar to his father in this regard. Not to force his family to follow the same religious beliefs as him. Frankly, quite another with the views of most people. That's how it is.

Hanafi, though eventually his four children were baptized, resigned. It is not that before that he never conveyed Islam to them. Already, many times already although less able to respond from the audience. When his children did not choose Islam, neither did the father become angry. Take it easy, surrender. As if to say, “This is none of my business,” so.

“Buyutmu Islam, mbahmu Islam, your father Islam..,” Bagyo muttered, while somewhat laughing. “If you become a priest, my husband breaks up, yes? There is no longer anyone who continues Islam in my descendants. Haryono was clearly Peter, your father was baptized all. End, you stay. But, whatever you are, wong you are willing to undergo. Not me, not Mbah Surtimu.”

Akas sighed. Yes, break. Discharged....

Peter is the baptismal name of Haryono. Petrus ing Haryono, abbreviated as “Ping” Haryono. Rahayu, Sulastri, and Wijayanti were baptized. There is Akas who has not. He doesn't know why not yet. Maybe his mother hasn't taken him to baptism yet. Or is that the line?

I raised my face. “I'm confused, Mbah..,” he said slowly.

“Lha, how confused? Where is the confusion?”

Akas also revealed “confusion” about God; which was discussed yesterday with Arabi. His grandfather listened, occasionally appearing to smile with wrinkles. His grandmother too, while chewing betel.

“Confidence, it's about the heart. It applies to all kinds of beliefs. Let alone religious beliefs,” said Nur. “If you hold religion but not with his heart, yes it must be in vain because it is wrong from his front.”

“How to be sure how, Mbah?”

“Hehe.... For a while yes it was, use your heart.”

“No sense, Mbah?”

“Bby, but the intellect is actually how the heart. The mind should be equally careful. If the mind does not obey the same heart, it means a lot of lust there.”

“Oo, so lust in the sense, Mbah?”

Subagyo chuckled rather long. “Iya. The heart is always sacred, for there are guards. If it is reason, the guard is heart. Know?”

Akas immediately shook his head. What are these guards?

Subagyo chuckled again. “Have, that way before. After all, faith is a matter of the heart, not of the intellect. Moreover, about the belief of embracing religion.”

I sighed, then lowered my head.

“Sad ya must be sad for me if you become a priest. But, Mbah, no power of anything, wong your own decision. Islam does not know the rules of forced people about religious beliefs. Lakum dinukum. For you, your religion, for me my religion. As soon as the proposition,” said Bagyo, slowly.

Surtiyah. The betel is left alone at the end of the right lip.

Akas back stuck....

“So, Mbah, I should be careful, yes?” he asked, then.

His grandfather nodded, “But, it's up to you if you want to do the same thing other than heart.”

Akas. “Then, I am Islamic,” his sigh slowly but firmly, while looking at both his half.

“Alhamdulillah,” welcome Subagyo. He closed his eyes while sighing deeply, then immediately hugged his grandson.

Surtiyah also followed after....

Ahhh.... I felt his inner burden free. Not hovering kites anymore, which seemed free but shackled, as if tough when fragile. How free or how tough is a kite that depends only on a thread? Now, this is free. Flying like an eagle, splitting the sky with the baby....

“No more martyrdom, Mas?” Surtiyah asked her husband.

Subagyo. “This file is Islam, because its father is Islam. It is still a part of his creed because he has not been baptized. Just continue walking, until you meet with sejatining shahadat.”

Surtiyah mangosteen, maybe understand.

But not with Akas. “What is it, Mbah?” she asked.

“What?” Subagyo asked back.

“Sejatining shahadat?”

Subagyo smiles wrinkles, “Sejatining the shahadah is the actual shahadah. Which is not just speech, hehehe..”.

“Oo, what's that like, Mbah? This one..,” Akas recites two sentences of the creed. Although mixed and tend to be Christian, he memorized the word shahadah. His father taught. During this time, the word was considered as part of “mantra Islam” only. Not more.

Subagyo smile. “Betul, as he said. But, later it should be not just speech.”

“Continue, so what is it like?”

“Yaa, earlier. So the true one,” Subagyo looked closely at his grandson.

Akas. What does this grandfather mean?

“Already, don't you mostly think first. This sejatining section is not taught, it must be felt alone. God willing you will know.”

Acute mangosteen, “Later I can know yes, Mbah?”

Subagyo nodded, “Originally you are steadfastly walking.”

I looked at his grandfather. What else is this “steadfast walk”? But, because it looks the grandfather smiled wrinkles, the youngest grandson was also attracted to the grin.

Never mind, later....