GOODBYE

42. know first

After that, Kyai Kholil gave Akas a moment to control himself. Akas lowered his head, sighing many times to relieve the turmoil of the soul, which seemed to have been rubbed by this giant hand.

“How, have you calmed down?” ask him, a moment later.

“Numbered, Kyai. A moment...,” Akas replied, while still huffing.

Kyai Kholil mesem, then extend the tranquil ration, until really Akas looks calm. It'll take ten more minutes.

“Already, Yung, thank you. Please pack this,” the door later.

Iyung nodded, then packed the tool.

“Thank you, Kang,” said Akas, as Kang Iyung was about to leave.

“Sama-sama,” reply, send smile. Not a death sight anymore.

After the death of Kang Iyung, in a closed room, Kyai Kholil bersejang, “Akas, now you are a human being who is obedient to God. You have sworn an oath to Him, to be ready for the spiritual journey to perfection, al-insan al-kamil. It is not an easy struggle, but it does not mean impossible. Evidence, there. For that, you will receive three very forbidden universe secrets opened to anyone who has not been committed. It applies to anyone who has not sworn to Him. Anyone is anyone, without a look except. Are you ready to take this?”

“Siap, Kyai,” replied Akas, steady. It is his heart.

Kyai Kholil smiled, “Alright, come closer...”.

Akas approaching. Kyai Kholil asked him to keep approaching until “yu dengkul”, like when with Mbah Bagyo first. Starting with the speech, “Allah..,” he whispered the three secrets to Akas' right ear. Just one go, no repeat broadcast. But, it was clear to Akas. What Kyai Kholil had just opened was recorded by him, even though the sentence arrangement was in a poetic language. Symbols, abstract tones.

Akas did not immediately understand the symbolic meaning, but he recorded it well in his mind. Strange as well, it felt easy for him to memorize the poem's sentence. Once heard, straight out. Memorize it, not understand it. This first, understand it later pursued while walking.

“Where? Clear?” ask Kyai Kholil.

“Clearly, Kyai. But, is that..?”

Kyai Kholil nodded, smiling, “That's His footprint, that's where His truth is. From now on, don't hesitate to bother you about this. If he comes, hit with light dzikr. Hit it hard. Understand, your nature is not separated from your substance. Acute Properties, stick to the Accent. Where there is you, by your nature,” he took another vibe.

Akas looked down deeply, nodded slowly, then mbrebes mili again without being asked. His eyes are back. How not? Reportedly, “which is closer than the veins of the neck” now feels the truth even though it is still at the limit of understanding. Yang, “I place depends everything”, so too. It's not as if. Dignity is a direct relationship between a property and its substance.

Like sweet with sugar, salted with salt, or light with the lamp.

“Already, don't cry. Should be happy, right?” Kyai Kholil mesem.

I smiled, in the midst of tears, “Thank you, Kyai.”

“Thank God. Be thankful to Him. He brought you here. Not me, not the others.”

Akas nodded, while shrinking his tears.

“From now on, think with your spirit. Use the dhikr of the Ruh or the dzikr of the Light. True meeting true, pseudo-rolling pseudo. You've got the map, you've got the vehicle, and you know the lamb. Then walk toward Him with your true self. Don't ride the fake ones. Understand?”

“Iya, Kyai...”

“For the time being, close all your books. Tawakuf-kan (silence to ponder and pervade) first. Don't swallow too much understanding, postulates. Now, go after the science. If you have it, then it is appropriate to read the book,” Kyai Kholil continued bersejang.

“Eem, including al-Our'an, Kyai?”

Kyai Kholil smiled, then nodded.

“Moreover that, the noblest book. It takes science to read science. Science cannot be opened with lust. If it still rolls lust, it will not be caught the meaning of its essence. Except just reading,” he said.

“The first verse of al-Fajr letter, know?” ask Kyai Kholil.

Akas nodded. “Wal fajri, by dawn.”.

Kyai Kholil mesem again, “Well, what is the meaning of dawn there?"

I think for a moment. “Yaa, the dawn of the morning of the day,Ma..”.

“Hehehe. Externally, right. That morning, he called it dawn. But, how does the Everlasting God swear in the name of what will perish? Will not the dawn of the morning be no more?”

Akas jerked. Aye!

“So, which dawn does it mean, Kyai?" she asked.

Kyai Kholil laughed again, slowly.

“That's. As explained now, you can't understand. Because, it must be with his knowledge. Don't just be literal. Surely, in essence, it is not the dawn that morning that God meant by wal fajri. I say this with the truth of the taste, haqqul yaqin. And, someday, you also understand that you have got the knowledge.”

“What's that anyway, Ma?”

“Yes this, which you will take. The science is faith. True faith, true faith. Not those plintat-plintut faiths. A firm faith, which is not swayed by threats or seduction.”

Akas.

“To get there, at least you have to know Him. How can we be called believers if we do not know? If you only hear a story or read a book, it is not true faith. The highest faith in reason, or even just faith taqlid.”

Akas grimacing. Remember the “kebo” lesson with his grandfather first.

“Why?” kyai Kholil asked, seeing the ringisan.

“Ngak, Kyai. In the past, Mbah Bagyo once said about taqlid-taqlidan..”.

“Oo, what does he say?”

Akas also told the story of the “melu-melu kebo”. Kyai Kholil chuckles. “That is, tuturut munding if said Sundanese,” said he. “You don't want to be munding, huh? Angry at God. Difficult to be made human, even turning themselves into buffalo, hehehe.

Akas laughed too. Just slow.

“So, this spiritual journey is to gain true faith. This faith cannot be bought, it cannot be obtained only from hearing stories or just reading books, even though what is read is the Qur'an. Wh why? Because, it must be felt the truth, not just spoken. Please understand this by heart, don't use lust. Not that I forbid reading the Qur'an, but read it with his knowledge. So, the Book of the Light is really illuminating, really a real clue.

Akas.

“Oo yes, do not play ball again..,” Kyai Kholil continued to wobble.

I'm surprised, “No ball play, Kyai?”

“Hehehe. Do not wander here and there seeking God as you have. Allah is Near. Misguided wandering, even kejeblos idol later. Understand?”

Akas nyengir, “Iya, Kyai.”

“Good. Now let me declare your Ruh-mu dzikr, the Light dzikr. Remember Him through your true self. Man arafa nafsahu fagad arafa Rabbahu, who knows himself will know his Lord. In this case, you cannot know without remembering. Lasting memory, unobstructed memory of space and time. Use your true self to remember Him. Do not wear anything of a pseudo nature. Because, until anytime the findings can not reveal the veil of authenticity. The pseudo, unable to cross barzakh. Understand this well.”

The student nodded....