Choose Him Or I'm The Virgin

Episode 98's

Kim hye jin pov

In front of the back door of the night club 'daebak' I was still standing in curiosity

"Who's the one who helped me get out of prison?" I said speak for myself

"Did Ms. yoon ji secretly help me but she accidentally didn't tell me during the interrogation process last night out of fear of the guest vip bajing*n?"

"Then he gave evidence of cctv footage in the vip room to officer jae and it was very clear that I carried out the attack on the brengs*k man as a form of self-protection"

"But..."

"What does that pervert twit*t mean to ask me to talk to my regular customer's rich uncle to free himself?" Say myself and daydream again to think

I jumped in surprise when my phone rang loudly in my bag

I immediately saw my phone screen and it was written that cha young was trying to contact me

Without waiting any longer, I immediately picked up his phone call

"Yeah!!! Kim hye - jin!" Shouted cha young from mobile phone

Ouh....

My ears immediately buzzed because of the sound of screaming

"Nne-nne* (iya-iya) I hear you cha young-aa" I said softly

"Where are you? Why don't you come to the hospital and get my keys?!"

"Why am I so hard to reach you?"

"Where did you spend the night? Why are you so happy to make others worry?" Oceh cha young nagged me

"Ahh..mian-mian* (sorry) I will explain it after we meet. Where are you now? I'll be there" I told cha young

"Come to the park behind the hospital. I still can't go home because some of my work is still unfinished" cha young said

"Araseo* (i understand) I'll be there soon" I said, then hung up and ran to the city park that was meant by cha young

******

Once there the cha young was waiting for me and looking at me cynically, like a mother who wanted to scold her son for being naughty

"Heah.haah..."

"I'm sorry cha young"

"I'm..."

"Effort to..run"

"For you not to wait for me too.haaa.. lamaaa" I said with a loud breath.

"Sit down." cha young's orders.

"Drink this" said cha young, giving me a bottle of yougourt and a sandwich

"We had breakfast together first" said cha young

I thought he was going to scold me again when he told me to have breakfast together

"So...all night you spent in the sauna again? nyam.nyam" asked cha young while eating.

"ani*(no) last night I did not spend the night in the sauna but in the prison.nyam." I said casually

"bruffhhhh...ohok-ohok.." cha young spouted his yogurt in surprise at my words.

"Dee?! cha young - aa neo gwaenchana?* (are you okay?)" much 

"What did you say?? Jail?" Ask cha young

"Are you kidding kim hye jin?" Ask the curious cha young again

"Ani*(no) I'm not kidding you" I said with a flat face

"What are you doing so you can go to jail?" Cha young asked

"Haaah, I have bitten the finger of a rich young man's vip visitor to the blood at a gangnam club and have to hold him accountable at the police station for alleged mistreatment" he said.

"Mhoragu? *(what did you say?)" Speak cha young slowly

"Then how did you get out hye jin? Did you escape from prison?" Ask cha young who is starting to imagine

"Eeii..you think I'm a good mafia member who escaped from prison?" I said to cha young

"Then have you poisoned that cop's coffee and taken the cell key?" Cha young's words are getting crazier

"Yes!*(hey!) Hong cha young!!" Exclamation

"Stop talking a no-no!"

"I didn't do the crazy thing you said earlier"

"I got out of the holding cell because the police officer told me to get out of there and consider me innocent" I told cha young

"really?" Ask cha young to make sure

"Young! I said the truth" I said and cha young just fell silent while looking at me

"Yes!*(hey) are you anj*ng hhuh?! Why did you bite someone's finger?!" Cha young exclaimed suddenly while hitting my shoulder hard using his right palm

"If you have rabies, I'm sure the person you bit has left this world" cha young said, hitting me again

"Aakaaki..apeudayo!*(sick to know!)"

"Stop hitting me hong cha young!"

"I have a reason why I bit his finger"

"He's been sexually abusing me" I said and made cha young stop hitting me

"Mwo??*(what??) Sexual harassment?" Ask cha young

"Yhmm!! as I was delivering food and drink orders to the vip room, the man suddenly pulled me over and hugged me"

"And even more crazy things"

"It even********my lips"

"Aisshh...basic dog*n shit!"

"Given yesterday's incident made me nauseous weekk.." I said as I stuck my tongue out in disgust.

"Kim hye jin" call cha young suddenly in a serious tone

"Didn't you feel sad and want to cry when you re-told me?" Cha young suddenly asked

"Speak what are you? Of course I feel sad, angry and upset about getting such treatment..."

"Cry if you feel sad kim hye jin" said cha young

"Miss?*(yes?)" Much

"If you feel sad, cry"

"A normal person in general when telling himself to get such sexual abuse treatment in others, will definitely feel sad and cry loudly"

"But I see you look stronger" said cha young

"Gwaenchana* (it's okay) if you cry in front of me, it's a natural thing"

"Looking at you telling me about an unpleasant incident that happened to you last night and you can tell it so smoothly like this, it just makes me worry more about your mental health" said cha young

"I wish I could cry like everyone else in general, but you know about the problem of emotional abnormalities in me"

"Because I was living the weakest point of my life when I was in Chicago prison, I decided to throw away my useless tears"

"There is no time to cry, but others will look at me very weakly and be their target"

"I was just thinking about how to survive there without having to be bothered by the other inmates"

"I didn't expect that I would be able to get through all those nightmares and live my life to this day"

"But the bad memories of the prison there are so hard to forget, my fears and worries were so high that I became like this"

"My subconscious has not allowed me to cry and to vent my sorrow all this time"

"whatever I try, I can't shed my tears anymore"

"But in exchange for not being able to cry, I will definitely have nightmares repeatedly"

"Therefore, I must immediately get a job to pay for and undergo my mental health therapy"

"But you know cha young-aa I don't have much money for now.."

"I was just hanging on to that sedative when my panic attack recurred and that's why I met you here.."

"Huwaaa.." cried cha young and hugged me.

"Why did my best friend's fate go bad like this huhuhu.." said cha young while crying.

"Hye jin-aa if you can't cry, let me represent you to cry"

"I hope you can share your pain with your best friend Kim hye jin.."

"Hiks..hiks.."

"As your best friend I can't help you much, if I could finance you for therapy, you wouldn't be suffering like this"

"What did you say cha young?"

"You've helped me a lot and I don't want to trouble you more than this"

"I know you also need money to pay your family's debts to those leeches"

"And I know very well how much of your family's debt has accumulated due to your father, and now you have to bear it"

"I'm very lucky to have you as my best friend otherwise I don't know who else to depend on" I said

"Ani*(no) I will always help you until the end of my life" said cha young

"Your and your family's kindness to me this whole time can never be replaced by anything"

"If it wasn't for you and your family, maybe I couldn't have lived like this until now"

"Your family is my savior angel from the cruelty of my father who was a heavy drunkard and a gambler and a leech"

"If on that day you did not enter my house to take the ball and report and force your father to come to my house because there is a strange thing that the fire may not be avoided and I will die in that house with my mother" cha young told her of her dark past

Cha Young and I were childhood friends. We were born and lived on the same island until I went to high school before I decided to take a scholarship to Chicago

Cha young's father, now in prison for good, used to be a gambler and a heavy drinker

Cha young's mother often becomes an outlet for her anger when cha young's father loses out on gambling

One day cha young's father borrowed a large amount of money from a leech and made his home and family his guarantee

Cha young's father used the borrowed money to play gambling and in the end lost

Because cha young's father knows the risks that will be borne if you have to deal with land leeches, he intends to kill his entire family using coal briquettes and then commit suicide by burning himself and his house and contents

Cha young's mother had fainted first because cha young's father beat her blindly. while cha young and kaka sonnya have been given sleeping pills by his father so as not to be too noisy and invite the attention of neighbors around

And it just so happened that I was playing baseball with another neighbor boy until accidentally when my friend hit the ball and I chased the ball into the yard of cha young's house

I know that cha young's father is very fierce, he is not friendly to small children or neighbors around. Therefore I secretly climbed the wall of the cha young house to take the ball

But I saw a moon of smoke that filled the guest room of cha young's house

Without a second thought, I immediately ran home and forced my father to go to cha young's house because I couldn't open the door of cha young's house from outside

At first my father did not want to follow me because the restaurant was crowded, but I who at that time was still sitting in the 2nd grade of elementary school continued to whine and ask my father to check on cha young's house

Fortunately my father who was getting upset because of my annoying attitude, in the end obeyed my wishes and headed for cha young's house

By the time he got there, not only the smoke began to fill the contents of the cha young house, but also the red jago began to illuminate some of the cha young house

My father immediately shouted and the neighbors who heard my father's cry immediately ran and entered the cha young house to stop the fire from becoming bigger

Fortunately the fire did not spread throughout the cha young house, all the members of the cha young family survived, but 3 days later, the fire was destroyed, kaka man cha young died of a lung infection that came from briquette fumes

Of course cha young's father goes to jail on the charge of trying to take someone's life, while cha young's mother?

She had been made a loan shark by her own husband and had to repay her husband's debts by selling herself to the leeches

But cha young's mother begged the leech not to bring cha young with her.

Of course it was rejected outright by the leeches unless the mother cha young had a security deposit to exchange the cha young

I saw that cha young looked so devastated and sad because his beloved kaka man was gone and had to see his mother beaten and he was taken by a leech, of course it made cha young crying continuously

I innocently asked my father and mother to take care of cha young with me

At first my father and mother refused, but I continued to whine at my parents and go on hunger strike if cha young was not allowed to stay with me

It is true that the love of both parents is very great for their children, even though it is a silly thing, they will try to fulfill the wishes of their children

Finally my parents gave bail to the leech so that cha young remained with me. cha young's mother was very grateful to my father and mother and then left her only daughter to my family

That's when we were like siblings protecting each other

The older I get, the more I understand why my family lives in poverty

That's because most of my father and mother's property was given to leeches to protect cha young

But strangely I don't hate cha young at all, nor do my father and mother

My parents loved cha young like their own daughter

When cha young's mother returns to the island of Hangan to meet her daughter who has started growing up and cha young also can make money himself, cha young's mother asked my family to stop financing loan sharks and let them both bear the heavy burden my family had to bear

Of course it made my father and mother very relieved even though they never complained at all in front of me and cha young all this time

That's the story of my life with my childhood best friend cha young all this time

Cha young was on my side and did not tell my mother and father about my current unhealthy mental health

Because cha young knows, it will make my parents feel sad and it will make the health of both my parents decrease because it is too sad to think about his favorite daughter

"Have you stopped crying and told me about your dark little past, haven't we agreed not to talk about your childhood anymore?" I said to cha young

"You're right hye jin, we've agreed not to discuss my childhood" said cha young.

"But remembering the past is not a bad thing even though it is a dark thing though"

"Because the past is part of our life story and because of it, we become someone strong" said cha young

"Hemm..you are right cha young" I said briefly.

"But man will not be a strong man if he does not resolve the past and make peace with it" cha young said.

"Kim hye - jin. I don't think you'll be a strong person if you keep avoiding your unfinished past" cha young said

"As a friend you consider your brother, I can only give you advice, but all decisions are in your hands"

"Go back to Chicago and settle your unfinished past, meet the man and talk to him about what you really want from within your deepest self"

"I'm sure you understand who the guy I'm talking about is"

"I've told you many times, I'll never see her again because I want to erase everything about her from my life" I told cha young

"If you want to remove that man from your life and don't want to see him again, you won't experience this misery of kim hye jin"

"Maybe you told me that you wanted to remove that man from your life but in fact your subconscious hasn't allowed it"

"Try being honest with yourself kim hye jin"

"As long as you're still hallucinating seeing that guy, that means you still want to see him and talk to him"

"If it happens again, say what you want to say even if someone is not the real man but just your hallucinations"

"Remember don't waste the opportunity, who knows the pain in your heart you can take out even if it's just a little, at least it helps you without having to go to chicago if you're not interested in seeing it in person"

"Well, I feel like it's the concept of hypnotic therapy, showing the figure of someone you want to call from your subconscious and say how you feel" cha young said as she wiped her tears

"So in other words, you expect me to have such hallucinations?" I convinced cha young

"No, the safe way is through hypnotic therapy, if you're still hallucinating, I'm afraid you're going to be a real crazy woman" said young

"Wouldn't.as long as the sedative was still near me when my panic attack relapsed"

"Kim hye jin actually I do not want to give you this medicine, but.if I do not give it to you, it will be fatal to you"

"You may lose control and worst of all you can't tell the difference between reality or not"

"If that happens, I'll have to force you to go to a psychiatric hospital no matter what" 

"Stop scaring me even more, cha young-aa"

"For the cost problem you don't have to think about it? I even worked in this hospital my whole life until I was old" cha young said again

"Aish..stop talking like that cha young-aa"

"I know your dream is to live on the island of Hangan with your mother because she's been separated for a long time and is a clinic nurse there"

"Work and collect money to pay your debts and then go back to the island of debt, you don't have to think about me"

"how could I not think of you hye jin-aa"

"Haah...The world is indeed very unfair, why would a good girl like you live a life like this?"

"And because of that crazy couple, your once brilliant future, is now turning grim like this"

"If I was given the chance to meet him, I would beat them both to pieces" cha young said, clenching his hands

"Do you want to be a thug girl? You're a nurse how could you possibly want to beat up someone else?"

"Don't you beat a wayward patient who won't obey the doctor's words?" Syndirate

"Of course it can't happen! What do you think I'm a crazy nurse?" Speak cha young

"You crazy nurse, you just hit me hard" I said

"Issha....You're not my patient kim hye jin, unless you want to undergo treatment, I won't beat you up" said young cha

"Where did you get a nice knitted scarf like this?" Ask cha young

"Ahh..this?" Redo

"This is a gift from a foreign grandmother who sold fireworks that I met on the road yesterday planning to meet you" I told my meeting with the grandmother of the fireworks seller to cha young

"Haaa...so this is what made you suddenly become a vagrant girl for the past few days?" Cha young

"You should stay at my house even though my house is semi-basemant" said cha young

"No. I don't want to stay at your house, your house is too small, I'm afraid you're uncomfortable when I'm at your house"

"Cha young-aa why don't you move to the rooftop? It's better than a semi-basemant house" I said

"Haah.I know that semi-basemant house does not make me comfortable, sometimes a foul aroma comes from outside, not to mention there are drunk people who urinate carelessly because they mistakenly think it is a sewer"

"Two days ago I gave almost all of my salary this month to the leech so that the interest would not increase every day if I was late to pay"

"I have to save money this month so I can eat" cha young said

"if only I had a mountain of money, maybe I wouldn't complain like this" cha young said

"Stop imagining and work hard as long as you're young"

"Do you think happiness is only from money?" Much

"A lot of rich people out there who do not get happiness even though their wealth is very much" I told cha young

"really?? But.one way to get happiness is not to worry about the problem of money"

"I feel like my happiness is having a lot of money, so my problem is done"

"I could meet my mother and live with her, serving my mother whom I had never done"

"Eat with him at one table, clean the house together, picnic together and chat with my mother in front of the television"

"There's still a lot I want to do with my mom. I just want to do things I can't do when Mom leaves me" 

"Cha young-aa" call me

"Why is our destiny both so bad kim hye jin? Will misfortune continue to follow us throughout our lives?" Cha young said while crying and he hugged me

Cha young was crying in my arms and I could only pat her gently on the back

"Hye jin-aa"

"Mmm?" Answer me

"How many days have you not taken a shower?" Cha young suddenly asked

"I think.since yesterday morning" I said.

Instantly cha young pushed me and closed his nose

"Yes?!!*(hey!!) Why are you so slovenly kim hye jin?" Ask cha young

"How can I take a shower?!" Exclamation

"I was in the cell all night, and yesterday afternoon I was working part time to be a clown in a very hot panda costume in this outfit"

"After that you called me and waited for me in this park. How could I possibly be doing my clothes?" I explained to cha young

"Ouuhh.This rotten scent is bothering my nose a lot" said cha young as he took the perfume from his bag and sprayed it on me

"Again..."

"Swirt a lot" I said to cha young

"Don't it smell anymore?" Much

"Yes.lumayan, the foul scent of your body has started to disappear" said cha young while sniffing my clothes.

"Go home! I'm sure your parents must be worried about you" said cha young

"Mmm.I plan to return home today" I replied.

"Well let me know when you get home" said cha young again

Cha young and I hugged each other for a few minutes before I left the cha young in the park and intended to head for hangan island today

I walked to the stop about 20 minutes from the city park

Cha Young is back in the hospital

I walked over and saw some incoming messages and notifications that I hadn't seen yet because my phone was seized overnight by officer Jae as evidence of the persecution charge

I saw the missed call from Hajung 4 times in a row and asked how I was doing

Then a few minutes later I saw a message from Hajung asking where I was and why I didn't pick up the phone

He asked me to return the message if I had read the message from him

I smiled faintly and sent a message to Hajung saying I am fine and I am currently in Seoul because there is some business

I saw my message sent to Hajung but he did not reply to my message

Naturally hajung did not reply to my message because of the time difference between seoul and chicago.I think currently in Chicago is entering the early hours of the morning and I am sure hajung has fallen asleep there

I continued my message to Hajung not to worry about myself here, I told him that my life was fine and there was no problem whatsoever in my life

I also reminded him not to forget to eat and maintain his health in the midst of his busy life who has now served as CEO of the company

I think it's best for hajung, I don't want to say honestly about my current state

I'm sure he would have been very worried about me when he knew that my mental health was getting worse as time went on and would do anything to heal me

Therefore I will not tell her about my true state

He just had a normal life as himself

Hajung has been living a tough life all this time and after dong il get a reply for his evil deeds, Hajung and his family can breathe a sigh of relief and live a happy life

I don't want to ruin Hajung's happiness and his family and his dreams all along because of me.

Everyone is where they should be

It would be a pity if hajung which is a diamond had to be with me which is just a pebble

I am sure that with the passage of time hajung will forget me and look for the idol of his equal with himself

While my place which is only a pebble of course returns to where it came from

There is no way a pebble like me can be looked upon as beautifully as a diamond

That's how I thought when I decided to go back to the island and ask Hajung for help to finance my trip from chicago to Korea

Everything was so sudden, even I did not say goodbye to emma and my other college friends

I left Chicago like a wisp of smoke that quickly disappeared from the wind, I asked Hajung to hide my departure from anyone but emma if he asked me where I was

I sighed after I finished replying to Hajung's message and stood in front of the zebra cross waiting for the green light for the pedestrian

Time shows at 8 am, there are still not many vehicles passing by, but there are activities of some pedestrians who want to catch the bus or train in the morning so they are not too crowded when riding the public vehicle

However, the fault of some pedestrians is that when the road marker lights have not perfectly changed the color green, they have walked to the front of the zebra cross

Until when I was looking down at my phone screen suddenly a loud sound like bumping into something and instantly someone was under my feet in a terrible state

Fresh red blood flowed from the woman's forehead and tried to reach my sculpted ankle

"To-please a...ku" he said very slowly and there was almost no energy at all

For a moment the woman who was the victim of the accident managed to hold my right ankle using her bloodied hand

I could only stand like a statue and heed the cries of those who began to panic and shock at the tragedy of the accident at this time

My eyes with the crash victim met each other and strangely the woman's face instantly turned into me

Now in my view, that sad woman is me and the voice of the crazy woman who was once in a cell with me starts ringing in my listener's senses

"I told you, I'm gonna make you die so bloody like this"

I was shocked and pulled my legs firmly and then retreated slowly

People started to look at me with strange gazes for treating accident victims like that

It just made me more intimidated and triggered my panic attacks relapse

I immediately moved away from the crowd and in the seconds before the anxiety disorder struck me, I immediately looked for the sedative that cha young had given me this morning in my bag

After getting the bottle of tranquilizer, with trembling hands and a tight chest, I tried to unscrew the bottle with great struggle

But unfortunately, someone who is not responsible ran into my shoulder violently because he wanted to see the accident that occurred so that my penance medicine fell scattered on the road

I saw him getting panicked and my cold sweat started to fall

"Aahh...ania*(no)" I said and immediately my body fell down and sat down on the street where the pedestrian traffic passed by.

Usually this place is always crowded with pedestrians, but because of an accident, people swarmed the place and no one realized I was dying

My chest was getting tight and it was very difficult to breathe, I tried to pick up a tranquilizer that had been scattered

But the pain in my chest was so painful that reflex made my right hand hold the chest

Haaah...

Haaah....

Anyone please help me

I really can't breathe

Am I going to die like that crazy woman said?

Haaah...

Haaah..

"...What's wrong with you!!"

That voice??

A familiar voice in my ear

The voice that constantly looms over me

Suddenly someone grabbed me by the shoulder and laid my back on his big arm

He tried to keep me conscious by shaking my body and banging my cheek a little hard

"Listen to me!"

That guy?

Haa...

Kim hye - jin

I think you should be in a mental hospital for treatment because I started hallucinating the figure of the person I was talking to cha young about this morning

Even in my dying state like this, it was precisely her face that was in my memory and imagined that the other person who was helping me right now had the same face as her

"Breathe"

"Effort to keep breathing"

"Take a breath out of my nose." said the man who helped me and I began to follow him.

"Get it out of the mouth" continued the man

"Good!"

"Do it again, please" he said and repeated how to take a deep breath and take it out

"Good"

"You can" he said with a smile

Strangely the face of someone who makes me continue to hallucinate actually makes me calm and little by little my panic attacks began to subside

I began to let my subconscious take over my body at this moment

Shortly after my breath began to gradually recover, my body experienced the side effect of fatigue to make my whole body weak

"Neo gwaenchana?*(are you okay?)" Asked the man who resembled the figure of someone who was making me hallucinate at the moment

"Ahjussi*(uncle)" call me

"Mianhae*(sorry)"

"Because I can't see your real face because I'm having hallucinations" I said slowly

The man who was helping me was silent

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital?" Ask the man

"Ania ahjussi*(not uncle)"

"I don't have any money and can't pay hospital fees"

"I'm..."

"Haah, just depend on the sedative to overcome the mental illness that I have suffered so far"

"But.." I said while adjusting my breath so as not to feel tight again.

"The medicine was spilled all over and I didn't have enough money to buy any more"

"And now I'm having hallucinations and imagining the face of the man who made me like this"

"Am I really crazy uncle?"

"That man was very attached to my memory and even made me a nightmare because of his actions that had thrown me into the deepest abyss of hell huhuhu...."

I didn't expect that I was currently shedding tears that I hadn't shed in the past year

As soon as the power of my tears was over, I unconsciously let out all the heartache I had with foreign uncle who had helped me

"Why did he throw me away at that moment?"

"Why??"

"Why did he break his promise to me that he said would always protect me from anything"

".....my heart was too sick to make me go back to Korea and live my life as a loser"

"My life is ruined because of him, uncle"

"The nightmares about my life in the abyss of hell have left me deeply tormented and depressed..."

"I want to end my life and disappear from this world for my suffering to end"

"Repeatedly I had the intention to end my life however...."

"I'm too afraid the gods won't forgive all my sins if I do that ridiculous deed huhuhu...."

"Mianhae ahjussi, mian* (excuse me uncle, sorry) makes your day unlucky for meeting a crazy woman like me a hyster" I said in tears and hugged the ahjussi*(uncle)

I cried for how long and after that I remember nothing