Bound of Lies

The Forgiven Not Forgotten

Forgiveness is not forgotten

- Renata -

happy reading & ''Double with

"Where did you know Jamie was still in Bandung, Renata ? Did you exchange messages or get in touch with him? And since when do you call her by name ?" Fabian asked in a row with a huff, unable to cover up his anger.

Instantly all eyes were on Renata as if asking for an answer.

"Of course I found out by exchanging news, honey.

I'm calling Jamie to find out what the next step in your treatment is.

And I called her Jamie because she asked. Isn't he your cousin, honey?" Renata answered in a soft tone but emphasized the word dear as if it was an innuendo not a call.

Fabian fell silent, what his wife said was reasonable but still his heart could not accept.

"It was Jamie who asked for it so Fabian. Mami herself introduced Renata to Jamie," said mother Fabian menimpali trying to melt the atmosphere because of seeing the look of Fabian's face that seemed to hold back anger.

Fabian was still clenching his hands restraining emotions.

Remembering when he was still being treated in Bandung, Fabian had seen his wife with his distant cousin who was the doctor, several times he also saw jamie looking at Renata with adoring eyes. "Damn," means in the heart.

The shadow of Renata's proximity and Jamie's doctor dance in Fabian's head. Frustratingly. Until now, Fabian had never discussed the woman named Lea. Let's say Fabian was a coward for being too afraid of Renata's reaction.

***

"You better not get too close to the man you just met Renata. Not necessarily a good man" Fabian said as they were in the room to rest.

"Who is a good man then ? You ? Are you a good man, Fabian ?" Renata asked back and looked at Fabian's face through the mirror reflection in front of him.

Renata turned her back to face Fabian directly, waiting for an answer.

"I'm not Renata's good man, but I'm not that bad either. I was guilty of hiding the woman named Lea, ", Fabian lowered his face.

The pain and pain Renata felt in her heart.

Silent...

"Ma. I'm sorry, baby. I am guilty, I am guilty. But believe me it was just a mistake, and I really regret it Renata" Fabian said with teary eyes.

"Please give me a second chance, baby. Aah no, not a second chance but give me a last chance to fix everything" Fabian pleaded.

"Fabian, belief is like paper, once we squeeze it will not return to perfection. What do you expect of me ? After everything you've done." Renata asked with a blank look.

"I want you to give me a chance to make things right, I promise I'll be a better father and husband" Fabian replied.

Silent for a while...

Fabian was silent not a word came out of his mouth.

"Do you not want to explain Fabian? Everything you've been doing behind me for 6 years." Renata asked back.

Fabian looked at Renata's face deeply.

"I am guilty and I am a sinner. I admit it. Therefore I beg your forgiveness Dear," replied Fabian in a trembling tone.

Renata sighed in a heavy breath.

"A mistake can be forgiven fabian, but not necessarily forgotten," Renata said in a cold tone.

Hygiene ..

"If we turn Fabian around, what if I'm the one cheating on him? What if I have another man in my life ? Do you still want to apologize and accept me ?"  Renata asked Fabian.

Instantly Fabian's face looked stiff.

"Never say it's Renata ! Because I wouldn't be able to if you shared your heart with another man" Fabian replied firmly with a raucous voice holding back tears.

Renata was silent for a while.

"Well... You know the answer now" said Renata, standing and patting Fabian on the shoulder and then leaving.

***

Since the conversation they had last night, the distance between the two has grown even further.

Fabian is increasingly seen silent and Renata still pretends to be nice if there are only other people around them and returns cold when only alone with her husband.

One thing that makes Renata disappointed, Fabian is so close about his past with a woman named Lea. Renata asks if Fabian ever loved her. Or just a mask to cover his relationship with Lea. If the woman was alive, who would Fabian choose?

Renata himself did not have the courage to ask, he was afraid of Fabian's answer that might be painful.

While Fabian chose silence because he felt slapped with all the questions and statements that Renata made. But Renata's cold attitude is now more tormenting inwardly. "If I could turn back time" Fabian said in his solitude.

TB

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