Between Love and Traditional Java

Consequences

There are times when we are happy, somewhere else someone is hurt. Everyone has different opportunities. When to be happy, how to deal with when injured, who to be patient about everything, to whom he becomes strong, and what keeps him afloat, are all just questions whose answers are ambiguous. Everyone has their own way of getting through it. It all depends on the guy.

Not long ago I made up with Fariz, obstacles are always there. He will be transferred to another branch. I don't care if I have LDR, but this way is so not wearing.

While Fariz and I were sad, Ulya and Riska were very happy people. I heard that statement as they chatted in the dorm kitchen. I'm the one who wanted to take the water bottle accidentally heard it. It was really raining when the person I thought was a friend stabbed me in the back.

I wanted Ulya to be in my position, if he said well, I would willingly give it to him. And for Riska, the love clapping her hands left many hearts hurt. He even unconsciously hurt himself. He knew Fariz wouldn't accept it, so Riska always tried to ruin my relationship with Fariz. He did not accept that Fariz's brother only considered him a friend. And with what he did, Fariz would not be with him either.

“I was so happy that Dyana was called to the office,” Ulya grinned.

“Haha, he was scolded abis-out, denger-denger kak Fariz in moved to the branch store.” Riska laughs happily.

“If I can't have it, I also won't let Dyana be that easy to be happy.” Riska continued her words.

“Let rasain tuh them,” Ulya very happy.

Ulya really predicted everything. He knew about Fariz's friend who liked him. Then he took advantage of this opportunity when his friend asked Fariz to help him. Because of his friend, Fariz so often visit him. Ulya pretended not to know anything. Actually Ulya did not like Kak Fariz's friend, but with his plan to succeed, he pretended to accept Fariz's brother's friend.

He was good at talking so that made Fariz accidentally say that he was close to Dyana. Fariz did not suspect anything, as he made Ulya his friend as well. That way Ulya is just waiting for an opportunity to get proof. So he can report to the coordinator immediately.

That night Ulya finds Kak Fariz and Dyana on the balcony, she swiftly pulls out her phone and takes a picture. He did not expect that his plan would work this fast.

***

“I have to move tomorrow,” Brother Fariz said goodbye to me.

“Can't yes if you don't move?” my question is flat when I know the answer myself.

“Udah order, we will still be able to meet if leave,” kak Fariz calms me.

I was sad to take it off, I was used to its presence. The comfort he gives, every day being able to see his smile, hearing his voice, everything has to change. There's not gonna be any more like that. The difference in cities creates ever greater distances. I wept. Brother Fariz wiped my tears, he stroked my head gently.

The next day, I saw him come out of the gate with the backpack he used to carry on his leave. I saw from upstairs he was walking to the stop. He looked at me, I vaguely saw him smile. We're just different cities, but I feel like I'm gonna lose her forever. I don't know why negative shadows always exist. Maybe I think too much, because I'm already dear. Very fondly.

These are the consequences we must accept, the mistakes to be accounted for. Because we are found to be secretly intertwining stories. I was wrong here too and I had to be ready. I try to live the day as usual. Every night we talk about whatsapp. He's always been my talkative friend. I complained a lot and he understood me.

Until months passed with the LDRs, my relationship began to be uncomfortable. Fariz's brother rarely contacted me. I asked my friends, and no one knew. His attitude changed, I was still thinking positively, probably due to the unequal bustle of the store.

***

Silently enveloped the ceiling of my room. I thought of something, since her move to the branch store, Fariz's sister was different. My mind started to wander, I was prejudiced. Some things have changed. Distance limits our communication. He's not as careful as he used to be.

After a long time taking her time off together, she finally agreed. I want an explanation directly from him. He invited me to chat in Gellato, a caffe I used to go with him. He picked me up at the dorm. That night he drove his bike slowly, full of silence. There was no conversation between us. All was quiet with the cold wind, along with the wet streets from the afternoon rain. Vehicles pass through the crowds of Blitar city.

My mind was running somewhere. I looked at him who was only focused on the streets, looking far ahead. She clasped my hand without a word coming out of her lips. An unusual aura, awkwardness, confusion, all raging in wonder. But unable to speak. I hugged her, I missed her, I missed her warmth. Until he turns off the engine, we get to our destination.

“There's something I want to talk about,” He to the point starts the conversation. After the barista served two cups of coffee. He is still the same person, who loves espresso a lot.

“What's up?” I looked at him confused.

“I want us to cement,”

Deg. It feels like my body is slow to hear. A word that blasphemes after a long time no see.

“You mean?” I'm asking for an explanation.

“Yes, yes we just,” implied kak Fariz wants to end this relationship.

“You never open with me, if you have a problem, tell me, don't get rich gini?” I wish I had heard wrong. I'm still trying to calm down.

“Is there my fault?” I asked my incomprehension.

“I want us to just.” kak Fariz repeated it, for the third time.

“Why?” I'm waiting for the answer.

“I think I can forget my feelings for Lily, but I can't.”

“Didn't you say you wanted to try with me?” i'm confirming.

“I have tried, but so far, I have not been able to fully accept you, forgive me.”

"God is it karma for me that forced Fariz's sister to love me and told her to take Lily's leg off?" my mind was beating my brain.

Fariz looked down, holding my hand. All this time I may have forced my feelings. He who wants to try with me, I wait patiently. I believe one day I can make him love me. But circumstances speak another. All this time the comfort he had made for me, had not been entirely from his heart. Could it be that I was just an outlet for him, when he loved someone else so much that he couldn't be with him. He gave me that love just to fix his feelings. Wreaking his anger by pretending to love me. Was I evil first? or is he who is evil making false hopes?

“It’s ok, maybe we are only suitable to make friends, just story friends, not a bond let alone commitment, maybe from the beginning I was too imposing,” I tried to smile.

"I'm the one with high hopes." I continued my statement.

“Tomorrow I'm going to Ari's navel,” Brother Fariz holds my hand.

“I accompany you,” I offer myself. It turns out that his past still follows him to this very moment.

I'm trying to think this is all right. Somehow broken my heart, I still care about her happiness. Love is funny. Haha I laughed with tears streaming down my cheeks. My love cannot make me hate him.

After he pays the bill, we're gone. He took me to the dorm.

“At least we can still be friends,” I smiled knot.

I appease him who feels guilty. I don't care about myself. Stupid, maybe that's what people say about me, because I love him so much.

After his departure, I couldn't hold back my tears. My feelings at the moment cannot be described. I always try to make others happy. Even without thinking about myself. I always pretend to be strong about anything. I always say things that go against my instincts. I always keep everything to myself. I'm so in love that it's okay to be hurt. Be satisfied?