Between Love and Traditional Java

Anniversary

My morning was so much fun when I got a notification from Danial. I grabbed my phone and read a message from her.

"Good morning, happy anniversary dear," a short message that can make my smile expand.

"Happy anniversary is also dear," I reply with many kiss emoticons.

It felt like the one year I spent with Danial was really capable of making me stormy. Makes me feel like she's never been replaced. Makes me believe he's gonna fight. Makes me feel like we're going to get to the wedding. Maybe I raised my expectations to him too much, forgetting that being disappointed hurt so much. It is very difficult to get the blessing of his parents. For his different customs and family beliefs are sacred to tradition and culture.

Danial made her video call when I just returned the message. His face filled my phone screen with a perfectly developed smile.

"Yes, I'm ready to pick it up," Tell Danial when I just picked it up.

"Where are you going?" i'm rattled. I had planned my cut to meet him. But I don't know where it's going yet.

"Udah, I'll pick you up anyway" Danial immediately turned off his call.

****

"And you've been thinking about getting more serious?" I opened the conversation when he was sitting next to me.

Once a month we always try to meet. And today we're here in Goa Lowo. Danial always takes me to places I've never been before. With him I always travel, exploring the other side of the places on earth. Enjoying the charm of nature presented by God.

"From the beginning I was serious about you Na" Danial pointed out his seriousness.

"Why do I take you to my workplace, meet my friends, even my parents." Danial held my hand tightly.

"If I'm not serious about you" Danial looked me in the eye.

"But until when will your father agree with us?" I began to doubt that, because it would be useless if the relationship did not reach the marriage. The more I love her, the more disappointed I'll have to take her off.

"I know you're still trying to persuade your father" I looked into Danial's eyes.

"True Dyana said, I don't know until when my father will agree to it, I can't continue to hang on to Dyana's expectations without giving her certainty," Danial was racing with his heart and mind that was getting tired like this.

"I'll talk to my father again" Danial tried to calm me down.

"Not that I'm forcing you to marry me right away, I just want reassurance, true commitment," I'm worried about the continuation of my relationship. Until when I don't know either.

I don't want to be selfish like this, but I can't keep going like this either. It feels so hard to live this story.

"I know how much you want Na" Danial looked far away. He seems to be starting to mess up.

"I'm sorry Dan, I didn't mean to worry you," I leaned on his shoulder.

"One thing you know, I'm not going to marry a man whose family doesn't approve" I shed tears without noticing.

Danial looked at me and wiped my tears. I can no longer hold on to my feelings. It is sad that two people love each other but cannot be equated by the circumstances that hurt.

"You don't cry yes" Danial said softly. The cool aura of Goa's walls adds to the mood. Drops of water from the walls of Goa that wet the floor. Like menguaru sad aroma that stuck in the heart. With the fall of my tears. Danial's eyes are also glazed by the dim light inside Goa. There is still silence between us.

***

After taking Dyana home, I really thought about what she said.

"She won't marry a man who doesn't have her family's blessing" the phrase seemed to have been imprinted on my brain.

"Dad, there's something I want to talk to you about" I ventured in front of my father.

"What's wrong?" Mom and Dad were enjoying dinner.

"My age has grown, how about marriage well," I put down my spoon, waiting for my father's answer.

I just wanted to mention a little about the matter. Didn't mean anything. I just want to open up with my parents. As an adult, I tried to open up that conversation.

"You want to get married soon?" Dad's voice started to cool.

"Isn't that so? I did not dare before. But because of the encouragement of Dyana, a woman of my age, the meek woman I've been dating this year. A patient woman who can make me brave. The woman who patiently comforted me when I came up with my family's story. I have to be brave." My determination in my heart.

"What do you think of Dad?" I'm sure of my decision.

"Maybe if you want to get married" Father's voice began to respond to me.

"But you can't marry that woman, you have limits with her. The invisible boundary. And if you step over that line, you know what your grandfather told you?"

I tried to remember Grandpa's story years ago. When she decided to marry her boyfriend. I didn't think I would experience it. Just because I was the first child, I could not choose a wife to marry. According to my custom I cannot marry a woman born as a first child. It was because I was born as a third child. Such a marriage would be said to be Lusan's marriage which means to the telu and kepisan, meaning that I diadat I can not be a first child married to child number three.

"Always that's what I'm talking about again," I've run out of words on how to persuade you.

"But if it's my soul mate how is Dad?” My father never answered. My mother, who is usually in the form of a beautiful angel and understanding, at that time ngedumel. No longer soft as before. I know that I really like Dyana. Maybe because you can't get in the way of your will. That's why I'm acting like that now.

"You've been high school also can't appreciate the heritage of the ancestors what will it be, the bachelor idiot?" My father's words have been raining down on me.

"What if he's the only one God sent to be my soul mate?" I still always ask that.

“Yah obviously means he is not your match, obviously you are met with obstacles.” That was my father's answer.

The traditional legacy dilemma that sometimes makes me confused. Think about it, then I don't know what else. It's not just happening to me. I am sure there are many couples like me. Who did not marry because of custom. Or someone immediately breaks off the love affair while they are conscious. So as not to hurt later.

"Why God, this is so hard between us," I made a mistake.

It's my grandfather's story again, if I'm determined to get married. It's really troublesome for a third child like me. If the marriage is still done, according to family custom there will be a big disaster. There was one of those families who was not strong. Can be sickly, even dead or divorced for the bride. I don't know, I don't want to believe it's true. Because of coincidence or what it really happened to some of my neighbors. Or did my ancestors not like it until they sent the curse to the children down? I don't know.

I find it difficult to follow the rules of custom. I respect custom but I don't want to be too obedient. I just assume everything has been outlined by God. There are so many things I have to consider.

"Dad wants a big wedding. You also have to be told how to marry secretly.” said my father who actually he knew there was a way out.

"Ohhhhh.." I don't know how to behave anymore. I no longer taste finishing my meal.

"I go to the room first, yes" I got up and pushed my chair as before. Then step into the room. One of the places in the house, where I can find peace and freedom.