Between Love and Traditional Java

Break Up Again

Dyana Pov's,

Until the night Danial gave me no explanation. I waited for a reply from him and there was only a blue tick.

"What's wrong with you, Dan?" i muttered. I refused to enter the dormitory.

I was still sitting on the stairs in front of the store. Look at the rain that makes the streets. Only a red light flashes, while turning green even though no vehicle passes.

I often check my phone hoping to get a reply but nil. I looked at one of the photos in my gallery. Danial's face filled my screen. I swiped slowly, wishing he was beside me now.

Sharp rounded eyes, nose taper than mine, tiny lips, very handsome in my opinion. His hoarse voice makes me miss. Everything that was on him. I really like it. His shady attitude became his trademark. I'm not tired of what's on him. Everything was.

I remember the first time I met him, how dare he come to my house. Ask my aunt's permission to take me out. I've never felt that before, with a man before him. I felt I had found him who could fill my heart, giving me the love my father lost. He is a different way of loving me. I'm really comfortable. He was the one who was present right when I was injured, who was really able to make me forget about my past with Brother Fariz before.

"And, I hope our relationship stays fine." I murmured softly with an angry heart.

I don't know why I miss him so much tonight, when only today he didn't call me. I can still think positively before, but because he privatized his story from me made me suspicious. He's not the usual one.

"Yung, come in yuk, cold outside," Upil who was at the end of the stairs shouted at me.

"You go first, I still want to be here" I ignored him.

The reluctant rain stopped along with my falling tears. I feel really bad tonight.

"Young, let's go in," Upil yelled again. I finally relented, going down the stairs with a blank look.

Aww. . I didn't realize I was slipping because of the water that soaked the floor due to the rain. Lutvi rushed up to me and made me stand up. I couldn't focus, my mind drifted to Danial.

"Be careful yung," Lutvi helped me walk to the dormitory, then compressed my legs which were just a little sprained.

"I'm sorry yung" Lutvi said, guilty.

"And, Dyana sprained, she fell down the stairs." Lutvi sent a text to Danial, to tell him.

Danial who had closed his eyes tried to fall asleep, distracted by the ringing of his cell phone. While reading Lutvi's message, he immediately sat down.

"Please take care of him yes, tomorrow I'll meet him, explain everything." Danial is thinking of Dyana. He wants to solve his problem quickly. He asks Lutvi for help, who he knows is Dyana's best friend to take care of Dyana.

Danial is not calm, however he loves Dyana very much, although he becomes a coward by once again hurting her.

****

"You don't have to work yung," Lutvi told me to take a break.

I just stayed in the dorm. There was no message from Danial. I don't know why, there's no explanation. All this time our communication has been going well. But it seems to be starting to stretch.

"Should my relationship end?" i wondered. Given how hard his parents gave his blessing to me.

"Is this the end?" I'm resigned to the circumstances. I don't know why my feelings go there. Suddenly the sound of notifications from my phone sounded.

"Get out!"

"Daniel?" I started to smile. In a hurry I grabbed my jacket and slightly dragged my still-sick legs.

"Where?" the enthusiastic me was already at the gate, circulating my gaze looking for him. I saw Danial across the street, he who saw me rushing up to me.

"Good," I followed him without saying much. I slowly pulled back my smile. Danial's attitude was cold. During the journey it is silent. Danial was so different, he was so funny to me, not like we used to every time we met.

"I'm sorry Na," Inner Danial fought during the journey.

He parked his bike in the town square. He took my hand, took me to sit around the banyan tree. I just follow him.

"Still sick?" Danial is holding my leg.

"Not really," I pretended, so he wouldn't worry.

"There's something I want to say to you" Danial looked at me.

"If your problems go with your friends, I don't have a problem," I answered him so, maybe that's what he wanted to explain. I'm actually a little disappointed though.

"Not that," Danial turned his face away.

"Want to?" I asked back.

"Our relationship," Danial began to fret.

"Why our relationship?" I pretended not to understand, even though I actually knew the point. Maybe Danial wants to break up with me. Seen from his attitude that began to change in treating me.

"I. I want us.." Danial hesitated.

"Decided?" I continued the sentence.

"I'm sorry Na," Danial felt guilty.

"Hmm. gapapa kok Dan, I quite understand and understand our condition," I was reluctant to look at Danial. I was afraid I could not hold back my tears.

"I'm really sorry, I'm giving up now" Danial's voice raspy.

"I know, maybe because I'm from a broken home family too, I'm not good enough for you, Dan," I took off Danial's hand.

"That's not what I mean, my mom really likes you, actually," Danial tried to explain.

"It's about customs, nothing to do with your family" he continued.

"My family is also one of the factors and, surely your father thinks that broken home children are mostly untrue, naughty, can not take care of themselves, and one day, will also repeat the mistakes of his parents," I started insecure with my situation. I'm overthinking.

"But you're the strongest woman I've ever met, you're tough and patient with anything." Danial took my hand again.

"It's easy to make a man fall in love with me and, but it's hard to make his family accept me too, I understand that, marriage must pay attention to seeds, bebet, weights, as your family is very high in tradition. I can understand that and, you don't have to worry about me." My eyes started to glaze over.

"We can still be right," I gave my little finger. I'm trying as hard as I can.

"Don't stay with me, I need time." Cry broke. I can't hold it anymore. Pretending to be strong in front of him. This taste is like a patching for him. Just this time I really felt in love to the point of fearing losing her.

"I'll always call you, even if it's not as intelligent as it used to be," Danial agreed if we were friends.

"You can't miss your parents, she's upset with your sister, you're her last son, her only hope, make her proud." I think I should swallow all my ego by saying something like this. I have to accept the fact that I have to let go this time.

I was quite self-conscious, that the blessing that was difficult to fulfill, would only catapult me to the clouds and then throw me to earth. I know enough of that. Because Danial can not be sure also about the wedding. I don't want to spend time with the wrong person even though it's so sad to let go like this.

Before him I pretended to be tough and patient in accepting this decision. I haven't been able enough to really let her go. Maybe if he became my best friend, I could still see him and feel a little bit of his attention. Even though I know it hurts and fools myself. Act as if everything was fine, as if everything was as usual, nothing had changed from this relationship. I was like this only to hold it by my side until I could truly make peace with my own heart.

It was enough I was broken by family and destroyed by love. I'm satisfied that I always fail to bond. I have a hard time finding the right man for me. There is always someone who makes this relationship have to end and cannot be repaired.

"I'm sorry," Danial lowered his head.

"You don't have to apologize, there's nothing wrong" I tried hard.

"I love you so much Na" Danial hugged me.

"Me too Dan, but we can't force things. I know myself enough, "and then there's just silence.

"Ah actually I'm very ashamed of Dyana. But her personality that no other woman had was relieved to accept my family's decision. He said we can still be legitimate. Yes, now he can say that. But I know him best, in the depths of his heart he holds a million disappointments. He's always good at covering up his feelings." In silence I spoke, looking at his pajas face. Danial's voice spoke.

"You've asked me to break up twice with you and, maybe, I'd better let go. I also don't know when your parents are going to melt" I'm resigned. As much as possible I feel for my true feelings. I can't be weak in front of him." I just mute Danial's lyrics.

"I want you still around me Dan," My heart said so. No longer as a couple.