Between Love and Traditional Java

The Pillow Case

I tried to calm myself down, think positively about what happened. I am determined to give this relationship a chance. We're both going to start something new. Maybe I'm still in doubt, but my comfort when I'm with him minimizes all that.

“You're still mad?” brother Fariz greeted me. I stopped recording reports.

“No, I am determined to start with you, may you not disappoint,” I flatly reply, however he still has feelings for other women, whatever the reason, he still has not fully accepted me. But I sure want to be with him.

“I will try my best, give me a chance,”

I smiled in response. I felt relieved, all who were raging slowly found calm. For others it may not be easy, I just feel, patience will be beautiful later. There's no easy start to a commitment, at least, that's what I believe.

Fariz is so easy to conquer me, or I am easily tempted, I just enjoy every taste.

“Couple an yuk,” suddenly sister Fariz ngajakin.

“Hah, rich little boy,” I trivialize.

“Hmm.. ehhh.. couple an what but, t-shirt?” I'm curious too.

“Pillowcase?”

I never thought about coupling an pillowcase, she had unique tastes, or she was a typical faggy, I just thought about it like laughing. He always had a way of not getting bored in this story. And I like it. Regardless of his feelings that still thought of other women.

“Let's you choose,” he suggests.

“Ok.. ready to bozz. let sleep soundly,” I so follow alay.

***

I went downstairs, to the bedsheet counter and the blanket. I was fiddling with pillowcase, I think it's funny too, yes, we sleep with the same pillowcase. Love does not use logic sometimes, like a child who always flowers.

Sister Lily saw my presence, saw once she was still avoiding me.

“Sister Lily, help me choose pillowcase donk for brother Fariz,” I deliberately asked for his help, I hope this can make him aware, even though I know he is injured, but I hope to be familiar with him, I hope, I hope he realizes, to soon forget his feelings. I want to help her regardless of her feelings. Can I be selfish for once?

“Kok me, you choose yourself,” he is cute but still want to respond to me.

“I already know everything, brother, about you three.” He looked at me wanting to know what I meant that suddenly said that.

“I know you have deep feelings of guilt, but actually you are not wrong, the incident is fate, but if you two think it is impossible together, why don't you let each other go, you both deserve to be happy too, not dissolve in the accident that happened, love can not be forced, do not know who to point to, Brother Ari likes brother, even if he is still alive, he said, I don't think you'll take it, because my dear brother Fariz,” I sighed, Sister Lily listened to me in silence.

“With this incident, you both feel unable to each other, the feeling of guilt because Ari's sister slipped on Fariz's sister, if I was in that position I would have done it too, too, I'll save him, even if I don't feel anything, it's about humanity and how I know your friendship is solid,”

“If your togetherness makes you feel guilty, try to let go, please, let Brother Fariz live it with me, I know I'm selfish, I love you too Brother Fariz, could I be a bad person, but maybe this is a form of appreciation in your friendship, that brother Ari sacrificed for his love for you, saved Brother Fariz. You can also start with new people who will be present in your life as well. I understand for now you are still injured brother, I just do not want, if you are together but still overwhelmed with feelings of guilt, you will not be happy, mending do not need to start, sorry kak”

I stopped talking. I'm a woman, I know how she feels, but my race demands a reply too. Wicked me?

The flash back

I was looking for information when Brother Fariz told me about the motorcycle gang incident, I did not want this to be a bulwark in my relationship. I don't want Lily to feel guilty all the time. I don't want him to hold Fariz by his side, without knowing the ending.

I knew Rendy from my coordinator, I reasoned that I had heard that there had been a biker gang fight that killed one of the store employees, this news was no longer a secret, so my coordinator told me everything in my curiosity.

“Kak I Dyana, sister Fariz's boyfriend, there are things I want to ask, can I meet?” I chat ngajakin meet. After a week of waiting, we finally got a vacation. We met in Gellatto, one of the famous caffe in the city of Blitar.

“Where ya?” a guy in a blue jacket greeted me.

“Sister Rendy?” many ensure.

In short, Rendy told me everything, I also told my problems. Rendy's sister gave Ari's last letter to me.

Dear Lily, please,

Tonight should be the most beautiful night for me, I plan to give this necklace to you, that I really love you and want to make you not just a friend.

Your attitude that always encourages me, always attentive, always there when I need to, I have misinterpreted, only I consider this more than a friend. I am the only one who wants this relationship more. I'm the only one who has this feeling.

I heard when you were chatting in the corridor with your friend, you liked Fariz so much, that night I wanted to express my feelings, with the possible consequence that you would hate me for ruining this friendship.

Fariz and I were best friends from childhood, from school until we graduated and both got jobs here, I didn't expect us to like the same woman. Fariz told me that himself. And I'm trying to keep this feeling tight, for myself.

That night, I was determined to express my feelings, but not to have you, just as a notice, then I could say goodbye and let you both go. Because I already know the answer, you will reject me, who only love one hand only.

Never in my mind, when I was on my way to your house, saw Fariz who was surrounded by a motorcycle gang, Fariz was a good boy, I knew him more than anyone, there was no way he was involved in something like that. With responsiveness I took a stab at him, I was willing to sacrifice because he was the man who would make you happy. Isn't being compared to a loved one a prayer you always read? I also want you to be happy, and so do I..

“Ari wrote that while he was in the ICU, maybe that's called the power of love, with blood he still took the time to write a letter, or maybe he wanted to explain something because he knew his death was getting closer, he did not want any misunderstandings, because Fariz had found out that he liked Lily, I did not think, I was the same Ari, but Fariz was shackled as well.” Brother Rendy said.

I was moved to read the letter, so sad.

“That time after Ari was stabbed, one of the people in the gang did not jok Fariz until fainted, so Fariz did not know Ari's departure, maybe that makes him feel guilty, he said, regrets that he made himself, if Ari knew must also be sad.” Rendy continued her story.

“Fariz has read this letter, he asks me to keep it well, he does not want Lily to know, because it will make him more guilty. Fariz always rejects Lily, she just wants to take care of her for Ari, not have her love. That's what he told me, but he didn't know Fariz's true feelings, maybe he hid his feelings, I know Fariz, he never wanted to be honest when it came to his best friend's happiness, Fariz feels Ari's departure because of it, Fariz is willing to give up for Ari, but Ari instead leaves by betting his life, before Fariz tells everything, he will give up Lily too.”

I can't say anything, love is selfish, complicates things. Like my feelings, I don't want to give up either. I am different from Brother Fariz who is so strong to give up, for me this love I must fight. Fariz said he wanted to try this with me, I believe time will change everything, I hope Fariz will make me the only one.

"But you said Fariz wanted to love you, so do it, hopefully your presence can fix Lily and Fariz so as not to blame each other. They feel if together like happy on grief, may be, though I know Ari doesn't want that if he's alive." Brother Rendy supports me.

"perhaps right, they don't have to start" Rendy stated her argument.

***

I gave the letter to Lily's sister, Lily's sister cried. I calmed him down. I hope I'm right to take this step, hopefully when he wakes up and feels innocent again, he'll let go of Fariz's feelings for me. I hope he opens his heart to others.

Flash back off

After a long time of choosing I finally found the pillow case I was looking for. I dropped the option on the pillow case in dark blue with a manchester united image. Fariz's favorite football club. That was my first couple with Fariz's sister.

I gave one to Brother Fariz. When the video call he was using, it was really funny. I hope it's a good start in my love story this time. I'm sorry, Lily.