Between Love and Traditional Java

The Full Sky in Singapore

Many nights have passed, enjoying the beauty of the height of the eighth floor. The lights twinkling between the trees. I don't know why there are misses that come out. The feeling of wanting to hear his voice even for a moment. Looking at his face, even though he was blocked by a glass screen.

"I really miss you Dan," I looked up at the sky.

"Furnight, hmm,"

"Maybe you're looking at the sky? expressing feelings, complaining. Could it be that you miss me too?" I only remember a glimpse of the pseudo-shadows. Slowly my eyes glazed over and shed tears.

"Is this difficult to move on? Why forget about you this sick? I guess I'll be fine after long distance. I guess I won't miss you as time goes on. I'm not used to it yet."

"The story is not there, but it may want to meet still there, want to hug still there, hikss .." Those tears escaped my eyes.

drrt.drtr .. Without seeing me raise that call.

"Callo.." Maybe my hoarse voice because crying is clear.

"Why you?" a soft voice entered my ears, a familiar voice, a voice I had memorized very clearly, a voice that could calm me, but now it was that voice that made me feel sick and longing even more.

"Daniel?" I rubbed my tears as much as possible trying to calm down.

"You crying?" Danial's worried.

"No, it's just cold outside, a lot of wind" I pretended. Danial redirects to video call.

"Why?" Tell Danial 'cause I haven't pressed the button in a long time. I was thinking, where I didn't want him to see my eyes bruised from my tears.

"Gini phones can also do, why? Tumben called?"

"Why did the video go?" Danial's still forcing me to switch to a video call.

"Why?" I asked again, reluctantly even though I missed seeing his face.

"Thank you," I finally indulged in her wishes with a little force.

"Why are you crying?" the thrill when I find my eyes is puffy.

"No papa" I tried to smile.

"We haven't been together in a long time," I opened the chat, flashback to the past. I can't stand to say it.

"Don't remember" Danial's voice implied sadness as well.

"Just remember" I pretended to smile.

"Don't cry" Danial reminded me.

"Why yes And our story is so rich hini," novelty filled the bottom of my heart.

"You don't like this, I'm sad to see you rich, too" He's still as considerate as ever.

"I'm selfish, I want you, I want us to be rich first" I said.

"But you know, custom forbids us, and I can't possibly disappoint my parents, I've been betrothed." Those words sounded blasphemous.

"Sorry Dyana, in this way maybe you're not expecting me anymore. I hope you forget it. I want you to be happy soon, sorry to lie to you again, which means breaking your heart with my words. Although you're the only one I want." The inner Danial speaks which means that the person across can't hear it.

"Indeed, I only lost to one woman your mother chose, and the truth is that you also gave up and let me go." Isakku. I feel like I want to get angry. Wants to vent all pent-up feelings. Reveal all the pretenses that I'm fine with.

At first, with me pleading with him not to leave, even if he had to be friends, he would melt down and come back, in fact like this instead of hurting each other. I'd be lying if I didn't have feelings for her. This is how smart I am who sincerely hope to hide the truth. As if I was willing to but was actually expecting it back.

The agreement that we had just made friends turned out to be torturing myself. He has really given up. He thinks we're really friends now. I mistakenly still hope only with his attitude that is still attention to me.

Flash Back on,

Danial Pov's,

At the grandfather's house a lot of people sit cross-legged, reading sholawat with doubt. Yes, this day is held kenduri to commemorate the day of the death of grandmother. All the families gathered together including pakdhe, uncle and aunt were all present with their grandchildren. My father's three brothers, he's number two. Grandma died a long time ago when Pakdhe was a teenager.

A little story I heard from my uncle, Grandma died shortly after Pakdhe got married. Pakdhe's wife, whom I often call Bi Minah, turns out to be the third child. So many people associate with customs that have long been believed. A kind of inviolable tradition that the first and third children are not allowed to marry according to Javanese custom. Although on the other hand, that death is the destiny of God that has been outlined. No human being knows, and should not be associated that way.

After five years of marriage, Bi Minah was blessed with a daughter. It is difficult to get pregnant related to custom, because they violate it. Many of the arguments of society seem to be corroborated by this fact. But the child is taken care of, we do not know its origin. Thank God their marriage has lasted until now.

Therefore, the first and third children really have to cancel their marriage for families who believe in this tradition. My family doesn't want to repeat that kind of thing. Even in my mind, times have changed. But I can't be selfish with my parents either, because he raised me. There are many considerations if you have to fight. As Dyana said.

"A bad start won't end well."

I want when I get married, my woman loves me and my family can accept it too. Not contrary to custom, although at first I was stubborn, the more here I realized even though love must also be willing to let go.

Flash back off,

"Yes, maybe my biggest crime is not wanting you to be happy if that happiness doesn't come from me, Dan" I resigned.

"Na, you're gonna get who's gonna love you more than I do,"

"I don't need more And, you're done enough," there seems to be no hope.

"You don't get hung up on Na's past" Danial advised me.

"You don't know Dan, how hard it is for me to build trust in men. Because I lost a lot of love from the man I loved the first time. You know my dad doesn't care anymore." hiks.hiks ..

"No, you can't, maybe your dad's busy,"

My brain cannot think clearly. This painful washiness seemed to make everything negative for me and suffered from severe overthinking.

"Na, I understand you, but you have to get up. Not only are you a broken home, many out there suffer more than you."

"Yes, it's true, but I'm not the one who can be that strong. I have my own limits. How much burden I can bear only I know."

"Na, don't be sad, you look up at the sky" Danial tried to divert my conversation.

"Furname," I muttered softly.

"See the world still showing? This full light will lead your way forward. It won't be dark anymore" Danial tried to comfort me. Forgetting that we have memories together. Erase all that we ever exchanged love.

"You will not be alone, there will be many stars around you Na later," Danial smiled knot.

"I'm sorry Na" only that sentence filled his mind a lot.

"Sorry Dan, I was really angry, can not accept our situation so talk rich gini," slowly my mind began to calm down.

"I'm a plan, I have no stance." Hufft I sighed.

"Repeatedly said the word willing but the reality is still a little disappointed and has not received. Fucking me!" I looked up and smiled at Danial again.

"I understand your difficulties Na, don't worry." calm Danial to me.

"Yes Dan, all about us just being left behind misses."

Soon Danial ended his call after making sure I wouldn't cry again. I was still staring at the sky, with a sprinkling of stars and a full moon. I pray that all will be well. Hopefully my constellations will find the end. I hope I will no longer spend time with the wrong people.

"After a few years from now, you'll see me happy Dan. Seeing you no longer hurt, remembering you no longer hurt, thinking about you didn't break my heart anymore." I was determined and went to my room, went to bed.