Between Love and Traditional Java

Meetings

A few months later, things began to improve, my relationship with Fariz's sister flowed as I expected. However, not long ago happiness was running, there were always problems that stretched our relationship.

I was crying on the balcony, I missed my father, who I never knew. We rarely communicate. Not only was the distance the separator but my stepmother as well. He limited our meeting.

“Why you?” brother Fariz approached me.

“However,” I tried to smile for him.

“Stories?” he sat next to me and held my hand.

My lips told her everything, about my feelings, about everything. Fariz understood what I felt, because she came from a broken home family as well. He could be more gentle with me to express his opinion.

When we tell the story to those who have felt it, have been in a broken home family too, it will be easier to understand, even though our stories are different. But if I tell stories with those who never understand and experience it, there I am blasphemed. They will say that you are less patient, you are less grateful, many suffer more than you, and others.

I understand that, man is not the same, the limit he can be at the lowest point is different from others. Maybe what people see I'm less grateful, because they don't understand how to be grateful, they and I have their own perception of what gratitude means, and how patient I am, only I know.

What is power because most only judge what they see, without wanting to care from my point of view as well. Haha I can only laugh and say, “ya I understand, I understand,” and just agree all their opinions are always contrary to my conscience, which is not always what I feel.

It is harder to argue with people who do not understand the situation, than I continue to impose my race, there are only words that are getting dropped, the better I position that I agree with them. Although this is me, the one who always complains a lot.

Sometimes I also envy seeing them, those with circumstances like me but so strong, always good at hiding the pain, always able to laugh. But that's just what I see, I don't know how much they struggle, how much patience, how grateful they are, how they ever complain, I don't deepen their feelings.

On the other hand, I can't compare myself to anyone else, if I'm like this, yes this is me. I'm not the one who's good at crying in silence, who's good at laughing when hurt, who's good at being okay when I'm so fragile and disappointed.

In this phase, I was happy to find Fariz's brother who I could make a backrest for. I feel like he deserves my consideration.

***

Elsewhere, Ulya was busy chatting on the swing with Riska.

“Eh.. look up, isn't that Fariz's sister Dyana.” Riska told Ulya.

“Iya yes, must say the same coordinator,” Ulya exclaimed.

“They're dating,”

“But anyway, I really know Ris, same Dyana, I dreaded her to be made treasurer,”

“Really? That fast he wants to move up the ranks,”

“Badahat I really want in that position,” Ulya expect.

“Dyana emang nyebelin, rich he really tease people, I've liked the same old sister Fariz, even before she came. Fariz used to nyamperin me, now never.” Riska tells her feelings to Ulya.

“Hah, just know me, you like sister Fariz,” Ulya surprise.

"yes I was just a temp, hoping in response, but Dyana came, not exactly right, but I feel I have started very close to Fariz.

“We have to say the same coordinator.” Riska's planning something.

***

I cried on Fariz's shoulder, he stroked my head gently. I'm comfortable, I don't think that until I get caught, that I know I want to get out of my inner turmoil.

The night wind was soothing, the sky was star-studded, adding to the peaceful atmosphere after my mind soared far and drained.

“You are still, that rich position,” brother Faris moved from his seat as soon as I lifted my head on his shoulder.

“Hah?” I looked at Fariz. Baffled.

Fariz sis wagged her tab with a smile. I understand what he means. He likes to draw, he is so good. Sometimes she was romantic, especially in my sad mood, she could calm me down.

Minutes passed, the picture was finished. I saw myself that he applied with a pen on his tab, it was very similar. I was amazed to see it. That simple I am happy.

The night was getting late, and I went down to my room. My heart became calmer. As usual, I cleaned my body before going to bed.

“However, the swing was outside,”

“Kak Fariz again?”

“No, I just missed my dad,”

“Sabar ya yung, all will pass,” Upil rubbed my shoulder.l

“Iya pill, earlier brother Fariz picture me, look me, I m seneng!” I showed a screenan the picture on my phone.

“Wahhhh sweet really sehh, so envious.” with a mocking tone of voice.

“Haha, what the hell, shy tau,” I blushed.

“Pinjemin donk kak Fariz to me, he said help each other,” Upil ngledekin me.

"I'm lonely again" continued Upil.

“Haha loe guess what item, pinjem-pinjem, pay donk!”

We laugh together. Upil knows how to cheer me up. I'm determined to keep this friendship no matter what.

***

Very early in the morning I got word from my coordinator, that there was an impromptu meeting. As fast as lightning I rushed to tidy up my body. Because I woke up late after last night unable to sleep well.

"kok didn't say from yesterday anyway," my mind swore annoyed, I don't know what material to be met.

When I walked into the office, there was only Fariz and my coordinator. At first I did not suspect, because Fariz's brother was his assistant, so every time the meeting was always there he was. But after more than ten minutes just silence, I was surprised, because none of my friends came.

"what's wrong, mbak?" I asked my coordinator.

"Where were you last night after the store closed?"

Deg. I was surprised by the question, though,

"Give me on the balcony" I can't lie to him.

"You two are dating?" my coordinator asked firmly.

I remained silent, until Fariz's brother spoke.

"Yes," Fariz said. And that means we have to be willing to accept the consequences that one of us has to be moved.

I just can't talk anymore. Who told my coordinator, I guessed. I didn't have anyone around me last night. I'm trying to remember.

Before long I remembered that last night, I entered the room together with Ulya. I thought, this must be Ulya. He's the only one outside besides me. He is the only one who doesn't seem to like me.

Ever since my coordinator made me his confidant, he started to dislike me. I saw clearly the man who wanted to be treasurer and tried to bring me down.

Though I don't want that position, money is sensitive in my opinion. I once refused, but this was Umi's direct. Because I have worked here, I have to follow the rules, if I refuse I am not comfortable with Umi who directly pointed at me. Doesn't this also show that my performance is good. That's why I accepted the task in the end.

"Do you know what the consequences are?"

Me and Fariz are silent. We just duck. Dare to look him in the eyes.

"From tomorrow, you're Fariz, you're moving to the central store,"

Finally the thing I was afraid of happened, we got caught. This is a risk that must be accepted. I was wrong in this situation too. Me and Brother Fariz have broken the rules.

Fariz and I left the room empty.

"Patience to us" Fariz calmed. I just ducked back to my workplace.