BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL

7. Mama's Hope

It felt very uneasy to hear the chatter of Risa and Aya. Especially if occasionally Dinda comes to chiming. I who usually like to talk now choose silence, especially if the object leads to my marriage. A failed marriage. But they all don't know yet. I don't think I'm ready to tell you now. My mouth is still mute. I need a little more time. But can they not say anything more. Just moment? At least until my feelings calm down.

"Ra, how are you gonna shut up?" ask Risa.

"Regardless, the bride-to-be must have had a lot of thoughts." Aya said.

"Oh, I think you've done it." Risa grumbling.

"Maybe Rara thinks of Arif. Yeah, right Ra? Just met, just thought about it." Aya even joked me. "You must be part of it once, Ra."

"Ra, if you're married, the promise doesn't change!" pinta Risa, while tightly grasping my hand. "Say people, married friends usually change because the main thing for him is his new husband and family. While old friends will be forgotten."

"Oh, I really know you are Ris. Rara wouldn't be like that. Isn't it Ra? Arif is not a stranger. It's been circulating in our neighborhood." added Aya.

"Yes yes, fortunately the four of us with the same office Arif, so already know each other. It won't be awkward. Hihihi," Risa chuckled as she closed her mouth.

Already, I can't take it anymore. Eventually the tears were shed as well. I don't even care about the mask that's still on. I forcibly let go so as not to disturb.

"Ra, are you crying?" risa asked, looking surprised.

"O Allah Ra" Aya took my hand.

I hate situations like this. It really makes me uncomfortable. Why is all this happening? It felt like I wanted to lock myself in a room or go to a place where there were no people so I could be content to spill out such mixed feelings.

Arif, you are really evil! Why is everything like this! You know how screwed I am now?

"Ra," Risa shook the week of my arm.

"Hiks," I wiped away the rest of the tears. "I'm nothing." I said, trying hard even though my heart was already broken.

"Ra, we don't accuse you of that. You know you won't forget the three of us. Yes, Ra. We spent time together. Our friendship is very close, even to the point that it will be besanan later. So you do not feel sad let alone offended, Ra. Pinta Aya. "Risa anyway, use it all. Rara's not comfortable, is she?" now Aya blames Risa.

The friendship between the four of us has been established since elementary school. Because we want to always be together, we until college in the same department. Applying for a job in the same office.

God did seem to allow this friendship so that we could escape in the same place. Though the plan at that time recruitment for your major was only three people. But the four of us both escaped.

"Duh, sorry Ra," Risa immediately hugged me. "I didn't mean it that way. Sorry Ra!"

"It's okay" I said, still sobbing. Trying to ease the crying that has been held since, but also do not want to subside.

"Ra," the two friends hugged me tightly.

"Lho, is Rara crying?" asked the mother who was about to come out and find me crying in the arms of my two best friends.

"That's Aunt, sorry, Risa said something. Maybe Rara's offended." Risa still looks guilty.

"Ra, why son?" Mama stroked my shoulder slowly.

"It's okay, Ma. Rara just misses a time of being with friends." I had to lie. You really are Arif, because of you I got stuck like this!

Maybe this is called the instinct of a mother, Mama immediately convinced that something that does not happen to me. When Risa and Aya pqmit came home, Mama immediately invited me in, we sat on the living room sofa.

"No." I said.

"Ra, Mama knows you're in need of a chattermate. If anyone wants to talk to you, talk to your mom. Does this have anything to do with Arif?"

I'm nodding.

"You guys got into a fight?"

I shook my head.

"Then?"

"But Mama promised me one thing." I asked.

"What?"

"Don't be angry or sad."

"That's two things, Ra! But what's the problem complicated?"

"Yes, same thing as ma."

"Yes, talk."

"Rara wants to ask first."

"What do you want to ask, Ra?"

"What is your greatest hope for Rara in the near future?"

"Ra," Mama swept my hair slowly, then both of Mama's eyes looked far ahead. "Mama hopes that after marriage you will live near Mama. If you want, you can stay in this house or maybe contract around here for a while. The important thing is that you can see you in the morning and at night.

Honestly, Mama is not ready if after you get married immediately move far away. Mama's afraid you miss Ra. You know, you two are Mama's precious treasure. There's nothing else you have but the two of you.

But if Arif doesn't want to, Mama's not mad. Mama can still visit you guys late afternoon should be after work." said Mama with a smile.

Again my net is glazed. Then without permission, tears flowed profusely. Really, it pisses me off.

"Mom knows Ra, you're gonna need some privacy, so Mama actually set you free. It's just a hope, if it can't be realized it's okay. The important thing is that your marriage is happy always, lasting until it closes its eyes." Mama added.

Oh my God .. if Mama knew. There will be no such thing as a marriage between me and Arif.

"Ma, then, Rara will always be by Mama's side." I said. I immediately scattered in Mama's arms, it felt like I didn't want to take it off. But I have to look tough so as not to be a thought for mama.

"Lho, yeah don't. If you are married, you must live with Arif. Let him decide where you will live. You know Ra, one of the reasons for your father's divorce and mama's because you can't keep your father's wishes. Mama is too naive Ra, thinking that giving solutions to men can help them, but it's wrong.

There are some men who don't like to be dictated, Ra. You have to understand that. Never make the same mistakes as you ever did." Pinta Mama.

No, I really know how she thinks Mama's been to papa as long as they're married. All the sacrifices of Mama. But the harshness of papa that made the divorce finally happened as well.