BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL

Until At Home

The motor is back. The pace is pretty slow. His speed is twenty. Despite being overtaken several times by even the vehicles at the back, I still had no intention of increasing the speed. Let me enjoy this time on the streets before I finally get home.

Like carrying a load on the shoulders when the motor stops right in the yard of the house. I got down, led the bike into the garage.

"Sir Rara, finally come home too!" exclaimed Dinda, my only sister who is now in second grade High School but her behavior is still like an SD child. "From this friend Rara nelfon continued." said Dinda.

"Who?" my question, laziness.

"Sir Gita. Like a nelfon twenty times. Not to mention the wa."

"Oh,"

"Cock just oh?"

"Keep what?"

"For what did sister Gita call Mama? Is there anything important? Rara definitely didn't pick up the phone or reply wa, right?"

"return. The new brother from his house, sister Gita."

"Continue why call? There's need of times."

"Maybe."

"Eh, by the way Rara's eyes are red. So, is it crying?"

"Know. Slippage. It's new from the road, a lot of dust."

"What are your eyes, Ra?" suddenly, my mother welcomed my arrival.

"Eh Mama," I hurriedly kissed mama's hand.

"You can't go out anymore, Ra. Until the day H. Mama doesn't want you to do anything." said Mama.

"Rara is okay, ma." I replied.

"Keep your eyes why? Until it was so red as to cry out. Is the dust on the streets that bad, Ra. Until it makes red eyes like it's gone roaring."

"And it was a long time ago, ma."

"Oh that's it. Uh Ra, where are you going?" My mother called me to go to the room.

"You go to the room, ma. Put the bag down."

"Awhile first. Mama wants to talk."

What I did happened. Mama showed me her notes. The book contains everything that is necessary for marriage.

Mama called me that detail in preparing everything. Especially this is my wedding. Mother's eldest daughter.

Papa is no longer living with us. My parents separated when I was in sixth grade. After the divorce, papa immediately moved to Bogor to start a new life. Two years after the split, Papa decided to re-marry with a one-child widow. From papa's new wife, I have two new half-siblings.

My mom decided not to marry again forever. Mama wants to focus on taking care of me and Dinda. Also restarted his flower shop.

Even though mom and dad are separated. Dinda and I are free to call Papa anytime. But since papa and his new family were a bit closed off, then Dinda and I automatically kept their distance. That's why our relationship is so stiff.

My father and I rarely communicate. At most in a year three or four times. Just to forgive in the holy month and feast day. The rest we grew up under Mama's care.

"Ma ..," call me.

"Yes, why Ra?" ask mama. With eyes still staring at his notes. "Oh yeah, how about we add the food. Mama's worried it's less."

"Have you," I dare not continue the conversation.

"How has. Mama wants your wedding to be festive Ra. You are Mama's first child. It's the first time Mama has married her daughter Mama" Mama said.

I don't know why, my eyes are back in tears. For the preparation of this wedding, Mama did design it herself. Without the help of wo.

Mama deliberately filed for a rather fancy wedding party. Arif's family did express some reservations because it could not afford the cost. But my mom took everything. Not a single dollar was issued by the Arif family. All from my mom's savings.

So too with papa. Ever since Mama told me I was getting married, papa was calm. Not asking about the cost. From the past until now I know, for the cost of me and Dinda was Mama who worked hard. Papa never spent a single penny. I don't know what the reason is. Though I had seen a deed from the court that papa is obliged to provide for us. In accordance with Sharia, a child, even though his parents have separated, must be borne by his father, unless his father is unable.

"Ra, Mama-kok still think about uniforms, yes "said Mama. "what better your stepmother also given."

"No need!" exclaim Dinda. "What do you do to give a stingy woman like that in uniform. He'll be haunted again." added Dinda.

"Din, it's not your mother anyway" said Mama while rubbing Dinda's back week. The child is always up in blood when it comes to papa's new wife.

Not without reason Dinda behaved that way. My only sister is actually a typical child who does not easily hate others, but it all started because of our visit to the papa house at the top of Bogor.

I was in High School, and Dinda was in SD. Papa asked us to visit Bogor. My mom allowed me to stay for the first time in my life. But until there, papa's new wife, Aunt Wira, did not even consider our arrival.

He was really being funny. Dinda and I were starving all day. I sleep confused where.

While papa, whether he understands or not, papa behaves ignorantly. That night was like a homeless man. Until twelve in the evening just sitting in the living room, even though papa and his wife had slept in his room. It was only before dawn that the greatest of papa's children took him to sleep in his room after he was jolted from his sleep and found us just sitting in the living room.

Dinda was already crying, she was hungry and sleepy. I felt sorry to see Dinda at that time, but did not know what to do because the host did not consider our arrival.

Since then, Dinda and I have never wanted to come or stay at papa's house. To communicate with us only by phone.

Can imagine how great the longing in our hearts both on papa. Especially me. People who had been close to papa before parting with mama. But once papa got out of the house, we really never communicated well.

Sometimes I ask, how much the wound of divorce felt by papa to be able to cut off communication with me and Dinda. Ever the first year of freshman High School graduation, papa really can not be contacted. Like a man missing from circulation.

Mama had told me to follow to Bogor when papa's number could not be contacted. But I don't want it because I don't want it to happen a second time.