BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL

Breathe for a moment

Mama did not know about the incident because Dinda and I agreed to keep it a secret. We do not want to add to the burden of Mama who is already heavy enough as a single parent.

That's probably the cause of Mama's astonishment about our relationship with papa.

Several times Mama tried to find out why she did not want to be sent to Bogor again, whereas before, we always wondered to my mother, when to stay at home papa. But mom couldn't allow it because papa hadn't invited her.

Until finally, papa offered us both to stay at papa's house. Imagine, to come there, we really prepare ourselves as much as possible. Imagine a day spent with our dad, our dad and stepmom. Even me and Dinda to not be able to sleep before so groggy .e agan should after a long wait to be able to gather all day.

"Ra, what's wrong with you?" suddenly my mother woke me from the daydream.

"Sir Rara is dreaming? What do you think? From earlier invited to talk quietly." said Rara.

"Huh? Daydreaming? No." I said, somewhat stuttering.

"That's the proof until hah hah hih" said Dinda.

"Hush, by the way can't do that, Din. What else do you think, Ra?" mama asked, with her soft voice.

"It's okay, ma. There is a little unfinished work. Rara went to the room for a while." I hurriedly said goodbye before Mama held back.

"But Ra!" exclaim Mama.

I lock the room door immediately. After that I plopped down on the floor, sitting leaning in at the door. It's so sad this heart, but it doesn't know how to express it all.

Slowly, the tears came back. I no longer try to remove it. I let him fall just like that. Maybe my heart can be a little relieved. But still, it still feels.

Why would Arif do all this? I think, when he and his parents came home to propose to my mother as my guardian, because papa at that time could not come, really sincere to want to marry me.

It had never been imagined before that he would unilaterally cancel. If this is how to deal with Mama, Dinda, extended family, friends and invited guests as many as five thousand people who have been invited?

The clear circle is increasingly rushing into the river. I can't put together an apology for my mom. Somehow to convey to women who have given birth and fight for my life that next week, the wedding is not so.

There will never be a couple named Rara and Arif. It is over and there will be no more stories.

Arif could be said to be the first man I loved. To him I hung the hope of living the rest of my life with him Being his most loyal friend in his joys and sorrows. Spending time in all circumstances, accompany our children to old age and close their eyes.

But it turns out that story will never exist because when we were just getting ready to start, it was over.

Sick? For sure. He who comes, offers everything to me so beautifully that I who usually care about love will accept. My family opened up to Arif.

He is classified as a supple child so that in one meeting Mama already likes Arif, Dinda was ready to be his sister-in-law.

It was like swallowing a bitter pill. Previously given a very melenakan sweets. Oh, where's the fault?

Although it actually hurts, there is one side that I am grateful for. At least, this separation occurred before the wedding was held. Before we had any descendants. I can't imagine having to go through a good-bye for the second time.

The pain and loss when you and your mom separated has not gone until now, if I had to add more, maybe I would not be able to.

"Sister Rara!" from behind the door, Dinda banged, calling my name.

I was right behind the door until I jumped in shock. This child has been taught many times to maintain the attitude even as they please. He reasoned because he was too excited.

"Yes .. yes. A moment." I replied, from behind the door.

Not long ago, Dinda's footsteps were heard. Then he heard a voice talking to Risa and Aya.

I rushed to the bathroom in my room. Wash your face so that it does not look like a crying mark.

Still red. I washed my face with soap three times. But the tears on the face could not be hidden.

"Fiuffs. How'this?" ask again. It doesn't feel ready to face my two best friends in this condition. They will wonder until they know the answer. They won't leave until they get why I'm crying.

Suddenly I remembered something. Although a bit lazy I finally put on the mask given by Dinda. It says it is good for rejuvenating the skin. For matters of perskencarean, Dinda is indeed superior to me.

"Oh, have you been waiting for him?" I asked, talking a little hard because of the mask I was wearing.

"Oh my goodness Rara. Sorry if we disturbed. You're the mascerine again?" ask Risa.

"Yes" I replied, pointing at the mask on my face.

"Well, that's dong Ra. Treatments. Let it catch on when H's heart." chirped Aya. They know best that I don't like dancing.

"Well, Rara's wearing a mask too!" exclaimed Dinda, who happened to deliver drinks to two of my guests. " From yesterday I was told not to. It turns out the meaning is secret." Dinda laughed a little.

"Duh, don't bother Din. We just stopped by, someone wants to be given to Rata." said Risa.

"That's okay, sister." added Dinda, before she finally passed inside.

"This is for you, Ra!" Risa pulled out two large paper songs that were placed in her mountain Yas.

"What's this?" my many.

"Open it!" exclaim Aya.

My eyes immediately glared at the gift given by my three best friends. Ten-sheet nightgown as a gift for me. I want to cry as hard as possible. Don't give me any more gifts so I don't need clarification.

"Ra, what's wrong with you?" aya asked, looking at me just silent when I opened the gift.

"Ra, don't you like the card, do you?" ask Risa. "I'm sorry Ra. We just want to make you more feminine." added Risa.

"Nothing. I like it anyway. Even very happy to be moved, so can not say anything." I said.

"Really Ra?" ask Risa.

"Yes right!" I replied as enthusiastically as possible even though my heart was actually pounding.

"Ra, but how do you think you're different?" ask Aya.

"Nothing different. I'm normal." I tried to laugh. " I've been talking about this mask!" I pointed back at the mask that was stuck to my face.

"Oh yeah, you're you're masculine." they both said while laughing at the same time.