BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL

14. All Wrong Rara?

For a while I didn't hear Mama or Dinda's voice. I don't know what they're doing. There are a lot of questions in my heart, but still can't afford to just go in and see them.

"Yes ma. Rara's sister can't be hurt anymore, but she's the same. Don't get hurt again. If all men are as bad as papa and Arif, Dinda would not be willing. Dinda would make a calculation on them to be able to appreciate women!"

"Din!"

"Ma, Dinda is also sick to see Mama and Rara's brother treated arbitrarily by men. Dinda doesn't accept, ma. Dinda is hurt. But Dinda also can't be silent, just be a spectator. Let the. Dinda taught them a lesson!"

"Din, no, don't extend it. We pretend nothing happened. Can you, son?"

"No way, ma!"

"For your brother, Din. Can't you? You love your brother, don't you, Din?"

"Darling ma. Dinda love mom and sister Rara!" from inside the house came the sound of Mama and Dinda crying. Outside the house, I cried while leaning against the wall next to the entrance.

Pain Allah .. It hurt so much when I heard two people I love were so hurt. Why is there such a man? Why do papa and Arif kind men have to be present and lernah be part of the story of my life journey. Wh why? Am I that strong to get an exam?

The tears are getting bigger. I was both sad and angry. But not yet able to think clearly, what to do. Mama once advised us to take action after careful thought, if it is decided when a big upset worried that regret will arise later.

"Sister Rara?" Dinda was shocked to find me next to the entrance sitting crying, as she opened the door.

I immediately wiped the remaining tears off roughly. Then rise. At the same time, my mother came out to see me.

"Din" call Mama.

"Sir Rara what's going on here?" Dinda was shocked. He did not think I was here because usually if I go home then the sound of a motorbike will be heard.

"Ra, when have you been there?" Mom grabbed me to get inside the house.

"Ma." I hugged Mama tight. There can be no tears. I have to be strong for Mama to be strong. There's been too much burden on my mother all this time. So also with tears spilled, it can not be counted.

My mother's life has been very difficult all this time. After this no one can hurt Mama anymore. Even though it was papa. The real man means so much in my life. Someone I hope will be able to embrace me later or at any time with affection. He said he loved me, and I was precious in his life so that I could feel confident again in this life. Especially after being left behind by Arif just like that.

"May ya ma, Rara call papa." I asked carefully.

"Ra, have you heard everything?" ask mama. There was sadness on my mom's face. A woman who is not physically beautiful, but her heart is amazingly beautiful.

"It's already ma." I nodded.

"Sir .. forgive Dinda." My sister hugged from behind.

"There's nothing to forgive, Din. It's not your fault. What you said was true. You, Mom and sister are not wrong. Papa can't say that to my mom. We respect papa, dear to papa, but that does not mean justifying bad things done by papa to mama. So, let's tell papa what's really going on." I said, as loud as possible even though this heart had actually been torn apart by the actions of the two men.

Ahhhh no. I cannot be weak. I have to prove that I am strong. It's up to them to do anything to us, but it won't ruin my life. I am Rara Khairunnisa. A strong girl who aspires to be a strong Muslim!

"Rara called papa, yes ma." I said again.

There is no Java from Mama's mouth. But with Mama silent without preventing, I take it as consent.

[Ra] said papa. The voice I miss so much.

[Papa healthy?] my many.

[Why is the wedding off? You messing with Ra? Want to embarrass papa?]

[Papa, I'm sorry Rara has put papa to shame.]

[You are why the hell? Just like your mama, it just makes you ashamed!]

I immediately moved away from my mother because I did not want Mama to listen too much, also Dinda who had shown an expression of dislike with the words papa just now.

[Papa, please take out papa's tits first, after which Rara will explain everything.] I said again.

[Papa is disappointed in you, Ra. But you understand because you were educated by your mother.] Papa said, while removing all the poison in his heart.

Sick papa! Already, can papa not attack Mama continue? Don't make Mama a scapegoat if there's a problem with us? Do you know, we are also more sick and ashamed of this incident. But we're trying to get everything together, pa!

Patience Rara .. patience. Just listen to what papa says first so that papa is satisfied. After that explain so that papa knows who is the most guilty in this matter.

The words of encouragement kept me spouting to myself. No matter how sorry I am to papa, it still has to be polite. He was my father, the man whose blood also flowed in my body. Mama always taught us to be respectful to papa no matter what.

Finished taking out all his pretty spicy annoyance. It was my turn to speak.

[Pa, this marriage was annulled unilaterally by Arif. We met at Gita's sister's house, the person who interceded with Rara's ta'aruf. The reason is because Rara is too good for her.] I said, trying to parse back what really happened. It was actually uncomfortable, like swallowing a bitter pill, but I learned to accept, I had to face it all. Avoiding will only bring new problems. Maybe this way I can get better.

[Have known men are not good, why did you accept them? Didn't your mama teach you how to find good men?] ask papa.

[Sorry pa. This is our limitation. Papa remember no, when Rara first called papa told him that Rara would undergo ta'aruf? At that time Rara asked papa to be an intermediary, so that Arif was in direct contact with papa because it was impossible to familiarize himself with mama because mama is not Mahram Arif. But papa did not give any answer so Rara decided to process with the help of Gita and her husband. That's why it works like this, Pa. Sorry Rara.]

[You want to blame papa, Ra?]

[Nothing at all, pa. Rara tells this so that papa knows how complicated we are without papa's figure. Hopefully with what happened to Rara, in the future does not happen again to Rara or Dinda. Please, papa will guide us.

It's true that Mama has taken care of us very well. Educating us also with the appropriate upbringing sharia although sometimes Rara and Dinda make mistakes, it is out of your control.

Rara is very grateful to Mama. But Rara also realizes Pa, Mama is just an ordinary woman who is unlikely to be able to control the minds of others, including the minds of papa and Arif.]

[Ahhhh. It's up to you guys.]

[Pa, ridhai Rara yes.]

[Hm. Papa close first. Papa's dizzy?]

The conversation between me and my dad ended. Although there is no apology from papa for mama, but at least I am satisfied to have conveyed subtly what has been holding your heart all this time.