BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL

20. Arif Allegations

"I am the child of a divorce. Ever since I have always limited friendships with men because I cannot trust any man because my own father was never there for me.

But Arif changed everything. I don't know when exactly, I can open my heart to her. But it turns out it all just has to end. But my hope is to be the one who treats the trauma. It is he who will open my eyes that not all men are irresponsible. Heh, I'm just too naive." I slowly wipe away the last tear that came down.

"Have you?" ask Ken.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have confided in you, Ken. Just really felt claustrophobic."

"It's okay Ra. You can tell me anything. Oh yes, if you want to really feel relieved. Better now to mushalla. Salad Ra. No matter what your problem, the best place to confide is Allah. Go ... I can't take the burden off your heart."

I'm following what Ken said. Go to mushalla office. Salat, and then cry.

There are many things I tell God. About the wounds and disappointments that papa inscribed. Maybe it's time to make peace with myself. If the disappointment is still harbored, then over time it will only be a disease. I just have to be sincere.

Sure enough, after praying and expressing all the feelings in the heart, there is this feeling so relieved. It's just that the effect is puffy eyes.

"Ra, are you okay?" ask Ken when I get back.

"For you my eyes are like this." I said, looking down, worried that someone might be suspicious.

Instead of answering, the new boy chuckled. "Don't forget, you'll be presenting soon" he said, then continued to focus on his computer.

Geez, how can I cry so much when soon I have to present. Everyone knows that I'm crying and that look of pity will stay on me. I wasn't that night either.

***

Just one day after her wedding, Arif comes to work. Yes, he has entered work when he got a week off. I'm sure it's not wrong to see people, who were in the corridor when I just came and went straight to the pantry. Not because you want to avoid, but because you want to blind drink first before starting work.

I won't care about it anymore. He was just a stranger who really had no trace of anything in my life. I kept saying those words in my heart.

I can actually act normal. All the disappointments that yesterday felt I have slowly removed. Now I just want to move forward. But sometimes the people around us who blinded the condition more dramatic, even though we are fine.

"Ra, are you really okay?" anita asked, this morning, as we both finished our warm tea.

"Hm. I'm not okay. Which I forgot yesterday." I replied.

"Hi Ra, hi Nit! greet someone who has just been our talk.

Arifs. It is now in front of us. With his leisure sitting at the same table, put the chicken porridge he just bought. Then start eating it.

Just a few mouthfuls he scooped his porridge. Then shut up, then raised his head. Staring at me and Anita alternately.

"What's wrong?" tanyakanya.

"No." I said, then turned to my cup of tea. Really strange man. Maybe he's pretentious nothing happened. Astagfirullah, patience Rara!

"Now, we're in the Rif?" ask Anita.

"What's up. Want to give me a surprise just like you guys, end you are also compact giving me a surprise. Not coming to my wedding. This must be Rara's idea, right?" Arif pointed.

"I? No." I replied.

"Rara didn't say anything. We agreed, did not come to the wedding peng .. ahhhh, I was afraid of prejudice, but how is it?" Anita fishing Arif.

"Not to play Nit insinuations, I don't admit to any mistakes. I'm just a victim!" exclaim Arif. He then stood up from his seat, looked at me briefly, then just passed away leaving his food that had not been exhausted all.

"Udah Nit, don't talk about this anymore." I passed, after finishing the tea in my glass.

No Rara, you don't have to think about anything that Arif just said. Leave him with his life, he already has his own life, already has a wife. I have to appreciate Monika. You don't have to care, let alone hurt. God knows everything better. I kept moving up to the room.

Who would have thought, the rubric that I just managed is now the subject of discussion for cyber users. Some messages also started coming in. Starting from the circumcision of their own experience, the experiences of the closest people, to the support so that this rubric can be an encouragement. I make this all a whip, that so many people fail, they have to be supported to always be in the right corridor.

"Wow Ra, your rubric is trending on social media. So people's talk!" exclaim Aya, while eating rice Padang newly delivered by OB for our lunch menu.

"Alhamdulillah. I hope there are many benefits that people can take." I said enthusiastically.

"You may rise through the ranks because of this!" dini Debut.

"I don't dare to expect much Din, it's just an ordinary staff" I said. It's true that some time ago Mr. Gita had leaked about the issue that I would be promoted, maybe it would be a supervisor. But true or unwilling I didn't expect much. Now I just want to work as well as possible for my future.

"By!" he again.

After appearing in the pantry and just leaving, now he appears in front of me and my three friends like nothing happened. It's true that I'm normal, but he should be reluctant or at least keep his distance first.

"What do you want?" Aya immediately got up, ready to raise her fist.

"I'm not looking for a fuss." replied Arif, relax.

"Keep what?" Aya was still standing in front of Arif.

"You guys why the hell? He said he was sincere, how can he still hold a grudge?" ask Arif again.

His attitude was indeed very upsetting, as if what was done yesterday was just a small mistake that should not be exaggerated.

"Indeed, we are sincere. Even Rara has moved on from you, Rif. It's just not gini either. Know yourself dong Rif, keep the cake distance!" said Aya, as if understanding my heart.

"Move? Sure enough? I can't believe Rara's moved on!" arif said confidently.

"I don't care what happened yesterday, Rif." I said casually.

"If you've moved on, why do you make a special rubric for heartbroken people? You haven't moved on, have you, Ra? Be honest, be honest!" Arif forced me to admit something that wasn't right.

"As much as you want to believe or not." I don't care, he wants to believe or not. The important thing is that I don't have any feelings for him anymore.

"Then prove it!" challenge Arif.

"What?" Aya is now advancing.

"I want to join Rara's rubric group in order to prove that she really has moved on" Arif said.

"Hahaha, crazy are you Rif. Never will!" said Aya.

"Then it's true. Rara hasn't forgotten me. Isn't it Ra? Never mind, just confess!" arif said.

"I don't need a photographer" I said.

"I can be an editor. Hows it? What are you gonna do again?"

Oh my God .. I was really surprised. Why are there humans like Arif. He came closer, then just beat me up. When I was ready to start a new life, it came again. What do you want Rif?