To Mutia

Reason can't be together

"Bag,"

"Do you love her?"

"Huh?" Mutia frowned, looking at Yudha with a puzzled look. Didn't expect Yudha to ask such a question, even though he had told her everything, including about his feelings for Ghifar.

"Mas, I told you..."

"Jawab it." Yudha interrupted, making Mutia sigh slowly.

"No." he replied steadily, without a doubt. "From the beginning, I looked at Ghifar's brother as nothing more than a brother." a long sigh escaped from between Mutia's lips.

"The only reason that made me maintain our relationship, was simply because I felt comfortable with her and was afraid of losing the figure of an older sister that I never had." looked at Yudha, Mutia commented with a bitter smile.

"I sound selfish and mean, don't I? I was with her only for my own sake, without any intention of repaying her kindness by loving her as well."

"Have you ever learned to love her?" tilting his head slightly, Yudha stared fixedly at Mutia. "Listening from your story, Ghifar is a good man and it won't be hard to love him."

Mutia nodded, smiled, then told Yudha the secret she kept tight. The reason that made him take a big decision was to release a man as good as Ghifar and accept his father's request to marry Haikal.

"Get him, Mutia."

Mutia immediately raised her face. Staring at Yudha with an incredulous look.

"Solve your past."

"We've been done for years, Mom."

Yudha smiled. His hand moved rubbing the top of Mutia's head. The removal of the strands of hair that disturbed her eyes to look Mutia behind the woman's ears, before turning to hold Mutia's hand.

"You hung the story, Mutia."

Yudha's words, Mutia responded with a twitching forehead.

"What you did to Ghifar, broke off your relationship only through a short message, without explanation and not long after that he received the news that you were married, of course hurt his ego. Ghifar won't stop until he gets an answer about what went wrong, until you suddenly leave him. He hates you, as you wish, but you forget that when you hate or love someone, you can't stop thinking about him."

"So I made the wrong decision?"

"You were in a state of urgency. And it has become human nature, will act carelessly when feeling depressed." Yudha smiled warmly, grabbed one side of Mutia's face and gave a light rub of feathers on the woman's cheek with her thumb.

Mutia lowered her head, staring at her fingers squeezing each other restlessly. "I thought that with Brother Ghifar hating me, it would make him forget about me and move on with life."

"No, Honey. What you're doing is shackling Ghifar. It's like you tied him up without a rope. And it's more cruel, than you actually wrapped around his body with an iron chain."

Mutia cursed herself inwardly. How could his cheeks still blush when he heard Yudha calling him dear.

"Find him." grabbed Mutia's chin, Yudha forced the woman to look at him. "Explain everything to him, so that Ghifar can break away from the bonds of the past and start a new chapter."

Mutia's black bead stared fixedly at obsidian Yudha. He is sucked and trapped in the depths of Yudha's hypnotizing bead, until without getting any orders from her brain, Mutia nods her head.

"Good." Yudha smiled with satisfaction. Patted twice the top of Mutia's head, before pulling her hand.

"But Mas Yudha is with me, huh?"

...* * *...

"Muti."

Mutia immediately directed her attention to the origin of the voice that had just called out her name. Mutia immediately got up from sitting when she found Ghifar's figure was walking hastily towards her and immediately embraced her upon arriving at the man in front of her.

Three days after her conversation with Yudha, Mutia finally decided to follow her future husband's advice. He had to talk to Ghifar to sort out their past.

"Sister," Mutia slowly pushed down Ghifar's body, trying her best not to offend the man and making him feel rejected.

"Ah, sorry." clumsy, Ghifar released his arm grip on Mutia's petite body and switched to clasping the woman's hands together. Staring at the face of the woman who is still the owner of her heart.

"Ehm, brother. We'd better sit down." Mutia said as she pulled her hand from Ghifar's. His gaze roamed and felt uneasy as several pairs of eyes began to notice them.

"Have you ordered food?" Ghifar asked as they sat facing each other. Actually Ghifar really wanted to sit next to Mutia, but he was worried that he could not hold his hand to embrace the tiny body of Mutia and make the woman change her mind. Ghifar certainly did not want that to happen.

"Not yet, brother." Mutia sat uneasy in her chair. Every now and then his gaze was fixed on the table that was two meters away from where he was at this moment. There Yudha sat with Joseph.

Everyone should be watching me, he thought. Recalling a few minutes ago he entered with Yudha and her son, but now he was sitting with another man.

"What do you want to order, Mut?"

Ghifar's voice resuscitated Mutia from her daydream. The woman looked dazed, then looked at the restaurant-clothed lady beside her, making Mutia mutter softly upon realizing it.

"I'm a. chicken betutu, brother."

Ghifar nodded, before turning his attention to the waiter of the restaurant. "I ordered chicken betutu, sunar fish soup and sate lilit, which chicken yes."

"Drink, Bli?"

"Berry blow lonic and fruity lemon squash." Ghifar said without asking Mutia. As the waiter left their table, Ghifar returned his attention to Mutia.

"Still like lemon squash, right?"

Rigidly Mutia nodded her head. For years now, Ghifar still remembers what was my favorite, his inner self.

"I'm glad you finally want to meet and talk to me. Well, even if it has to be with a little threat. I'm sorry for that, Mutia. I've run out of ways to get you to talk because you're always avoiding me, so I'm forced to use your fiancee." Ghifar's voice glanced at the end of the sentence.

Mutia smiled slightly. "It's okay, brother. I should've stopped avoiding my brother and sorted out our past."

The arrival of the waiter by carrying their order, interrupted the conversation. Mutia thanked him with a friendly smile, as the waiter finished presenting their order and bailed away.

"I also want to apologize," Mutia played her fingers with her head lowered. "Because we ended our relationship only through a short message."

The movement of Ghifar's hand that was about to bribe his fish soup instantly stopped, suddenly his feeling of hunger evaporated somewhere.

"Why, Mutia? Is the love I gave you any less?"

Mutia shook her head slowly. "It is precisely the love that my sister gave me so much that it made me feel scared and guilty for not being able to repay her."

"Throughout the years we've been together, you've never loved me one bit, Mutia?"

"As long as we're together, haven't you learned to love me? Or at the very least, have the intention to repay my love?"

Stupid, you already know the answer, Ghifar. Why do you have to ask me something whose answer will make you sicker? Inner berated.

"Either."

Mutia's reply instantly caught Ghifar's attention. The man looked at Mutia who had now raised her face, with a look of disbelief.

"Never-ever? You ever learn to love me?"

Mutia nodded steadily, as her gaze straight ahead. Rotating old memories that are still firmly attached to his brain.

"When we first met, I already had an interest in Ghifar's brother. Then the more we get together, the more comfortable I feel with my sister. It was like finding an older brother I never had and it made me finally act selfish. I.. accept brother's feelings, solely because I don't want to lose brother."

Ghifar knew from the beginning that Mutia thought of him as nothing more than a brother, but when the woman reaffirmed him, Ghifar remained unaccustomed to his pain.

"Year after year we pass with the status of lovers. Despite being separated by distance and time, my brother still showered me with attention and love. Until one day I finally decided to learn to love my sister, because I was not sure that one day I would find a man as good as my brother who loved me so much. But when I talked about it with my parents, they were against my decision and even forced me to end our relationship."

"Why? I thought your parents liked me?" recalling every time he came, both of Mutia's parents always greeted him kindly. Their attitude even made Ghifar like coming home and meeting his parents.

"They do like you." biting her lips, Mutia looked at Ghifar with teary eyes. It's hard to say the reason that they can't be together. "But not as my beloved, but as their son, my brother."

"What do you mean, Mutia?" ghifar's chest moved up and down in a rapid rhythm.

"We can never be together, brother. Any way. If we force ourselves to be together, God will wrath."

"And why would God be angry if we were together, Mutia?!" Ghifar lost patience until he unconsciously raised his voice. Attracts many people's attention, but he behaves inappropriately. It was precisely pulling Mutia's hand for the woman to look at her.

"Say, Mutia? Don't confuse me."

His cheeks were soaked with tears, while his lips trembled as he told the secret he had been hiding from Ghifar for years.

"Because of us.." gulped down the difficulty, Mutia felt that there was a fish thorn stuck in her throat. "Brother of the consort."

As Mutia's hand carried such a powerful electric current, Ghifar instantly let go and looked at the woman with a deathly pale face.

"Father-brothers?" Ghifar muttered softly between the shock that was afflicted, then laughed discordantly. "Don't joke, Mutia! I know you don't love me, but should it be until you use that absurd excuse to make me stop expecting you."

"I know you won't believe what I'm saying, so I chose to make you hate me so you could forget me, because I don't want to see the disappointed and hurt look in your eyes like now. I.. It is not up to the heart to tell you the truth."

Ghifar was silent, while his black bead began to be bathed in clear crystals.

"I thought at the time that my decision was right, but I was wrong. What I did made you stuck in the past. I'm sorry, I."

"How can you?" although Ghifar said it in a soft voice, Mutia could still hear it.

"Your mother and my mother gave birth in the same hospital and at the same time. But my mother was not as lucky as your mother. When you were born, my brother died shortly after birth because of a heart defect."

"Mother is under great stress because of the loss of her first child, even while being cared for Mother often goes berserk and takes every baby you see. Then on my last day in the care, I said they heard the sound of a baby crying so loud from the next room. The mother who could not help but take every baby she saw, ran straight to the origin of the sound, leaving the father who was chasing after her. And that's where your mother and mother first met."

"Your mother said, her breast is only a little, so it does not meet your needs and makes you continue to cry because you still feel hungry. Mother who heard that, without a second thought offered to give her asi to you. From that day on they became close and visited each other often, until my pregnant mother and my family moved, their contact was cut off."

"When you first came to my house, Mom didn't recognize you at all. Until the day you talked about your parents and showed me your family photos, Mom started warning me not to be in a relationship with you more than a couple. I asked him what the reason was for forbidding us from connecting, while it seemed that they loved you so much. And because I kept pushing them, Mom ended up telling me that we were fraternal brothers."

Ghifar closed his eyes while rubbing his face. "Astaghfirullah."

Staring at Ghifar's now fragile nanar, Mutia reached into the bag and pulled something out of it, then thrust the object at Ghifar, attracting the man's attention.

"What's this?"

"That's a picture of my mother, your mother and you and the files at the hospital where they were going to go." Mutia could see Ghifar's hand shaking as he grabbed the brown envelope. "You can't ask my mother the truth, because she's dead, but you can ask your parents. They found out about this after Mom told them about us, and I forbade them from telling you the truth. I don't want to disappoint you and I'd rather make you hate me."

"O Allah," Ghifar lowered his head, clutching his black mane. "Why is this reality so painful."

Mutia was concerned, but she could do nothing. It's time for Ghifar to learn the secret he kept so that the man can come to terms with the past and find the woman he was truly destined for.

"So..are you my sister?" when he looked at Mutia, Ghifar could not hold back his tears. Caring for demons with people's eyes, they don't know how broken my heart is right now, inner Ghifar.

"It is difficult to accept the fact that we are brothers, but I will try sincerely to accept it. At least.." - Ghifar's breath stinged. He had difficulty speaking because crying made his nose clogged. "At least I didn't really lose you. I still have you even as my sister." Ghifar insisted on smiling, which made the man look miserable.

"Ah, by the way I would love to meet my nephew." Ghifar quickly wiped away his tears. "When can I meet him? He must be very handsome, right?"

"So I can't see Joseph now."

"Huh?"

"Wait a minute." instead of responding to Ghifar's confusion, Mutia moved away from sitting down. Walking over to Yudha, he invited the man and Joseph to join him and Ghifar.

"This is Joseph, brother." - Mutia fondly rubbed Joseph's cheek in Yudha's sling.

"May I carry it?" Ghifar smiled, though he did not reach his eyes.

"Of course." Mutia said in a carefree tone.

Moving from his seat, Ghifar extended his hand to Yudha and took over Joseph.

"Sit down, sister-in-law." slurried Ghifar to Yudha, chuckling.

"So when are you getting married?" Ghifar asked after they sat down. With all his might Ghifar held the throbbing pain that hit his heart and tried hard to be okay.

"We haven't set a date yet. In the near future I will even meet the Mutia family to make an official proposal." replied Yudha, who responded Ghifar with a nod of the head.

"Please take care of my sister."

Ghifar's tongue felt faint when he mentioned my sister to the woman he had loved for years. But how else, the reality is sometimes as bitter as Denatonium Benzoate.

Steadily, without a doubt Yudha replied. "Sure!"

...****************...

Some thought the reason why Mutia and Ghifar could not be together, was not only because Mutia could not love Ghifar, but also because it turned out that they were half-brothers?