To Mutia

Split hearts

Intentions wanted to immediately get an explanation from Azril about the reason the man lied to him, but the circumstances were not supportive at all, so he had not had a chance to talk to Azril. Two weeks passed since Lamia caught her sleeping in the woman's bed, leading to a misunderstanding, Azril decided to settle in Bandung until the seventh day of her mother's death.

While Lamia herself only accompanied her husband on the third day of study, because the next day Lamia had gone home. He only got two days off from his superiors and it certainly provoked the anger of Azril.

When he needed Lamia's presence at his side, the wife was more concerned with work. But when Lamia said goodbye to him, Azril did not emit anger at all like before, just harbored in his heart and acted indifferent. Azril did not even take his wife to the airport, although his eldest brother had repeatedly persuaded.

"See your steps, Mutia! I don't want to be blamed if you slip. It was you who offered to come with me." Lamia said in a sharp tone.

Mutia responded with a nod of her head. Since the incident two weeks ago, Lamia is no longer warm to him. Mutia understood that, because she knew very well how Lamia felt when she saw another woman sleeping in her bed, even though Mutia did not do it intentionally at all. Mutia was grateful enough Lamia still wanted to talk —although with a cynical tone and ketus— to him, nor did she turn her face when she saw it.

"Hold this." Lamia handed Mutia a wicker basket, then walked first into the market, with Mutia stepping slowly and carefully behind her.

They are now in a traditional market. Since this was Sunday and coincided with Azril's return, Lamia decided to shop at the market, because usually Mutia was the one who shopped at the traveling vegetable maker. She wanted to cook Azril's favorite food to welcome her husband's return. Then Mutia who knew that Lamia wanted to go to the market, forced her to come along, because obviously she could not let her employer shop, while she sat back at home because all her work was done.

Patience, Mutia. Patience.

...* * *...

The day that Mutia had been waiting for finally arrived as well. Early in the morning Lamia had left for work due to an impromptu inspection from the headquarters, while Ghifar had indeed left home a few days ago to return to his duties as co-pilot. On Monday morning, only he and Azril remained at home, because the man still had a leave of absence for rest until tomorrow.

Once Mutia saw the unwilling gaze leaving the house Lamia showed, as the woman had just descended the porch steps. Then threw a sharp highlight laden with warnings at her, before Lamia actually got into the car. Mutia knew clearly the meaning of Lamia's gaze, the woman was now no longer able to trust him and it scratched Mutia's self-esteem.

Is it that low as her now in Lamia's eyes?

When Mutia was putting dirty clothes into the washing machine, Azril's voice called out to her from the direction of the dining room. Mutia replied, asking the man to wait for a while, while he turned on the washing machine.

"What's up, A'?" Mutia approached Azril who was already sitting on the chair behind the dining table with a distinctive face of waking up.

"Where's my coffee, Mutia?"

"Ah, sorry. At breakfast, Aa was still sleeping and did not know what time she would wake up, so I had not made it, for fear that the coffee would be cold. Wait a minute." flipping over, Mutia walked towards the kitchen.

With deft Mutia concocted the coffee that Azril wanted, then returned to the dining room two minutes later with a cup of coffee that reflected the smoke, then placed it right in front of Azril.

"Thank you, Mutia." sniffed in the aroma of coffee, Azril drank it slowly. Azril's lips formed a satisfied smile, as Mutia's coffee tasted so snug on her tongue. Then Azril flipped the plate and filled it with fried rice shrimp, tempeh, fried tofu and sambal as the complement.

"A', there's something I want to talk about." Mutia's remark managed to attract Azril's attention.

"Hmm?" he was on the sidelines chewing food. "Sit down."

Mutia obediently carried out Azril's orders, as she also began to feel aching from standing for too long.

"What are you talking about?"

"It's about her sister Aa, Hasna."

Sontak Azril stopped eating. Having already lost his taste, Azril put down his spoon and nailed his attention to Mutia.

"What's wrong with Hasna?"

Mutia squeezed her fingers together on the lap, when the black bead was in a straight line with the Azril-dense bead. The sharp gaze of the man that felt penetrated all the way to her heart, made Mutia sweat coldly and sit uncomfortably.

"I already knew, that Aa had no younger sister, let alone one named Hasna. And the mental stress that Mother Aa was experiencing, the cause was not because of Hasna's death, but by the divorce that occurred after Mother Aa found out about her husband's affair."

For God's sake, Mutia no longer wanted to talk and went as far away from Azril. But he could not, because it was time to ask for an explanation, because he did not know if there would be an opportunity if at another time.

"Mutias..."

"Why would you lie to me?" suddenly Mutia felt a sense of courage that came out of nowhere, clearing all her doubts and fears. "Aa even made up the story and included the story of Mother Aa in the lie. Why A'?"

A second passed. Azril was still faithful in silence with a straight look at Mutia and clenched hands on the dining table.

"Javab, A'! I need an explanation from Aa so I stop guessing and thinking badly about..."

"I don't want you to reject me." Azril interrupted quickly.

Mutia frowned, not hearing Azril's words too much. "W-what?"

"Initially, I just didn't want you to refuse me any form of attention and giving. Honestly, your pregnancy made me, who had been waiting for a baby for a long time, feel so happy. At first, my intention was to do good to you. I feel sorry to see you having a pregnancy without a husband. But. Over time the intention changed." upholding the sit, Azril narrowed the distance between them.

"The feelings I have for you are growing, beyond mere pity. I can't control my feelings, just know I've fallen for you. I want you, Mutia. As a man who wants the woman he loves."

"He's crazy!" immediately getting up from sitting down, Mutia looked up at Azril. The feeling of disappointment seemed so obvious in Mutia's black bead. How not, all this time he had considered Azril as his brother, but the man actually harbored forbidden feelings for him.

"I remind you, if Aa forgets. Aa already has a wife. Lamia tea is so good to me. He helped me, gave me a place to live, treated me like my own sister. How could she betray him by sharing her heart?"

"I told you, I can't control my heart, Mutia. If you want to be angry, just be angry at the God who has brought love into my heart for you."

"Don't blame God. Neighboring grass is always more beautiful, A'. And the only way to restrain herself from approaching the neighboring grass, was to not look there and pay attention." throwing a rough breath, Mutia re-occupied her body.

"Aa should still look at me as a sister, just like I've been doing. It never took the slightest thought in my mind to have Aa, so the demons did not get any reproach to incite me. While Aa, I'm sure Aa must often do suppositions. If only I had met Mutia first. If Lamia were like Mutia. Had Mutia been my wife and other suppositions, it would have made Satan feast and continue to persuade Aa to sin, until finally Aa has forbidden feelings for me."

Azril closed his eyes, did not issue a rebuttal sentence, because what Mutia said was true. She had always wondered since knowing Mutia's pregnancy.

Astagfirullah, O Allah. Why did you put me in this position? I hate Sonya for taking my husband, but why do you have me now in the position of a usurper. Are you testing me, O God?

Mutia involuntarily shed tears as she felt a tightness squeezing her chest. Although he did not have the slightest feeling for Azril, other than the affection of a sister, Mutia still felt guilty for making Azril betray Lamia by dividing her heart. He knew how much the pain was betrayed and Mutia would not inflict the same pain on another woman.

"Don't come any closer, A'." prevent Mutia when she sees Azril about to go up to her. There was clearly worry in the man's eyes when he saw him cry. "One more... Was that the night that Aa took me to bed?"

"Yes." Yeah."

Mutia's tears were flowing out more and more. With a hoarse voice, Mutia spoke again. "W-Is Aa sleeping next to me?"

This time Azril shook his head. "Back from the bathroom, I lay you in bed, while I sleep on the couch."

Mutia nodded while wiping away the tears. At least Azril still has the common sense not to sleep one bed with a woman who is not his wife.

"Did Aa explain it to Lamia Tea?"

"It has. Is he still being sniffy with you?"

"I deserve it." Mutia smiled bitterly.