
Happy reading ...
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Still Haikal POV's.
Clara regained consciousness a few hours later after getting oxygen into her body. Makes me breathe a sigh of relief. Likewise with his father who was seen directly hugging his son. Then I left them both. Close the door of his room slowly.
I rejoined the grieving situation that was happening downstairs. Sitting in contemplation beside mamah while daydreaming. Waiting for the funeral procession to take place. So did Max who accompanied me.
At exactly 9 a.m., Clara and her father went down the stairs and prepared to do all the funeral processions. His other family also helped smooth this event. Even from a distance, I could see Clara looking at me. I could only smile at him before going to the cemetery.
In one corner of the public cemetery I stood alone. Once before this place was so crowded with people who paid tribute to Clara's mother.
Now that they've all returned home, my mother also came back to Clara's house because she's too worried about her. So stay now, I stand here myself. Looking at a tomb that has just contained the body of my future mother-in-law. The ground was still wet, filled with various types of flowers to produce a fragrant aroma.
My tears just came back, lamenting my stupidity that could not help anything when the operation took place last night. However, it feels sorry it will no longer be useful at a time like this. What is there will only make more hurt.
“Kal, come back,” bring Max to me. I just nodded.
“Mother, Haikal come home first,” pamitku slowly. Then turn around and walk away.
Along the way home to Clara's house, I purposely didn't speak a word to Max. I don't know why I prefer to be quiet and dissolve in my own mind. Likewise with Max who focuses on driving a car, he does not mind me like this.
Arriving at Clara's house, the atmosphere there is still quite crowded. Some of the families are still together. As soon as he got out of the car, Max immediately looked for where he was. We found him in the middle of the house, sitting with another family.
While I decided to look for Clara, I had to talk to her. At least I want to apologize for my stupidity. I'm just worried about his condition.
“Clara is in her room, go upstairs. Dad has tried to explain to her several times.” Clara's father allowed me to go to her room upstairs.
“Still, Yah.”
“Please persuade him to do that test. Dad does not want him to ignore his condition,” he added again. I nodded in understanding.
Tok tok!
No sound of truth. I knocked on his bedroom door again. Then ventured to touch the doorknob and open it, but it was locked. “Clara ... It's me ..” Same thing, no answer.
I pressed my forehead against the wall of the door and then I said again, “I'm sorry. I'm afraid I'm afraid of losing you. Please, I beg ... don't punish me like gini.” The door kept shaking, there was no movement. Not even from inside was there any sound.
“Clara, Honey!! I love you not for a while.” I don't feel my tears coming back. Falling just like that I can't stand anymore.
And this time, I came back to realize that I really loved her. Seeing him like this really makes my heart feel sliced, poignant. I know what it's like to be left behind by a loved one. I even felt it twice. And I know, it's not an easy thing to accept.
**
The sound of my phone's notifications, a short message coming from WhatsApp made my head turn. Staring at a thin object that I accidentally put on the room table. I walked slowly to the table, then grabbed it. Grasping the object after previously seeing the name Max that appears on the screen display. But I haven't opened the message yet.
Put my phone on the table and then open the pack of cigarettes that wrapped around the box. Picking up a cigarette and lighting it with a lighter that was lying next to the ashtray. I sucked the burnt tobacco filtered in the filter, then slightly inhaled the smoke with my nostrils. The rest I throw rough in one direction. A gust of wind immediately swept through that puff of smoke.
The sky this afternoon was beautiful. Displays clouds that are grayish in color and also slightly mixed with black darkness. Makes the cool air even colder. I looked up at the gray sky and closed my eyes. Feeling the wind caress my whole body. I enjoyed it ...
The wind made this heart feel so peaceful. The calm I feel now feels so precious to me. For my life.
It seems like I've been too tired to be dissolved in this matter for too long. To allow yourself to be enveloped in a deep sense of guilt. It didn't even feel like I was leaving the hospital where I worked. The place I've been holding numbers all this time. I lowered my face again, sucked back a cigarette and enjoyed it.
After turning off the rest of the cigarettes in the ashtray, I grabbed my phone. Open the short message Max sent me. I was too late in my deep guilt to forget the people closest to me. The people who watch me.
I just finished reading Max's message asking about my situation. Suddenly my phone was ringing again and this was a phone call from him. Immediately I pressed the volume down button on my phone. Then I put it back on the table. Then I was swept back in my bicycle.
I don't know how much time I've spent sitting here contemplating this place. And I don't know how many cigarettes I've had since noon. Until finally the sound of someone disturbing my calm.
“Haikal!! Open door!! Kal!! Haikal!!” The screaming sounds out there are making a noise. I know who the owner of the voice is. It made me feel lazy to open my door for her.
“Come on!! It's not your fault!” shouted again. This time followed by the sound of a door blow, making me want to not have to stand up and open the door for him, otherwise my door would be broken this time.
I just locked the door twice, I turned, the man had impatiently pushed the door in front of me until it almost made me fall down because he stepped back to avoid the door leaf inward.
“Finally you're open too!” emphatically.
Yeah, that noise came from Max. He was the man who had ruined my composure this afternoon, as well as the previous days. Only, only this time did I finally open the door for her. Once before, I always ignored and I left to go into the room and hide behind a pillow.
“You're okay, right?” the question sounded worried.
“The doctor is me, not you. I know the limits to staying healthy.” I answered the origin then turned around, stepping towards the kitchen to open the refrigerator. Take a big box of mango juice and a glass, then go back to the side balcony and enjoy the juice there. Max followed behind without replying to my words.
I know, Max must be worried because I shut myself down. To lock myself away from everything for days, to close all access to meet me.
Max lit his cigarette from his pants pocket and tossed his box pack onto the table. While looking at me who was also looking at him with a glass of mango juice in my hand.
Connect ...
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